The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.
Danke schon KatieTv and SugarTits y'all are so willing to stroke my little ego and make me excited to be doing this. HUGE danke to kstewfangirl who took time out of her busy life to set me up this blogAll the chapters are here now too. I think I'm also going to start posting teasers so go check back! . Also, love to myfairytale life who created an uber cool twitter background for me. I have met the most awesome folks through FF and twitter, I swear!
I haven't mentioned in awhile that this story isn't for kidlets. You've been warned. Go on now.
I'm holding my heart out but clutching it too
Feeling this sort of a love that we once knew
I'm calling this home when it's not even close
Playing the role with nerves left exposed
~~Reasons Why, Nickel Creek
~~BPOV~~
Spring
I'd like to know, who were the first parents to discover that silence denotes mischief? I'm assuming it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. I'll bet Cain didn't make a peep when he slaughtered his brother. That's probably how he was found out. Adam turned to Eve and said, "those boys are too quiet. What do you think they're up to?" Then they wrote it in the Bible as the often forgotten eleventh commandment. It's right after keep your hands off your neighbors' shit: you shall find your children are up to no good if they've gone mute and missing.
Today's trespasses included an entire box of Rice Krispies emptied and crushed into the living room carpet, the inside of the drawers in the coffee table decorated with Crayola's finest, and a little sister being locked in a dark broom closet. All this while I dared to put away the dinosaur of laundry that was threatening to eat us alive. The culprit looked eerily proud of her misdeeds especially when I released a terrified and trembling Charlotte from the closet. It was a little creepy how Char didn't even cry out for me. I opened the door and she was just sitting there waiting. Made me wonder how many times it'd happened before. When I asked Sarah she just laughed. I reminded myself to watch her around small animals.
I don't know what we were thinking spacing our kids so that one was entering the terrible twos while the other was in the midst of the treacherous threes. I'd heard somewhere that the fourth birthday was a gift for not killing your three-year-old and at the time, as a new mother of the most angelic baby ever, I could never imagine feeling that way about her. I laughed at my naivete now.
After I got home from the conference and the dust of Grandma's departure settled, I was eager to start work on the myriad of stories floating in my head. My children, however, were eager to super glue themselves to my legs shouting demands and whining for no reason at all. Charlotte wanted to be in my lap twenty fours hours a day and Sarah insisted I spend every waking minute entertaining her. She couldn't just go play in the mudroom we'd turned into the toy room, I had to go with her. I couldn't put on a freaking video for them to watch without her begging me to stay. If I couldn't even use television as a babysitter I was screwed.
If I tried to get out my laptop, forget about it. Charlotte would arch her back and buckle her knees dropping to the floor with a howl. Sarah would come up and shut the screen on my hands every thirteen seconds until I was snapping at them both and locking myself in the bathroom for a quick cool off. I eventually gave up trying to do any work while they were awake and found myself tapping the keyboard into the dark hours of the night instead. I hadn't survived on this little sleep since Charlotte was an infant yet I was waking in the morning invigorated and ready to fill my cereal boxes with notes.
I spent the next hour vacuuming Rice Krispie dust only to have the girls empty a bucket of grass and leaves from the yard. So I gave up. We got in the car and headed to the drive-thru where I filled their bellies with grease and byproducts and came home to an early bedtime. I drew all the curtains and insisted it was night despite the lack of darkness outside. Fucking summer was right around then corner. I'd be wrestling them to bed every night since it would be light out past nine and they'd be up at the crack of five. Combine that with my late night writing sessions and I wasn't sure how I'd survive.
I flopped on the couch and watched a rainstorm pick up speed outside the window. The familiar pings against the tin on the porch roof were soothing to my frazzled nerves. My mind wandered to where it always did when I had rare moment of peace and quiet on my own. I stretched out on the couch and hugged myself remembering someone else's arms around me.
"Bella?" Jake said, coming home and startling me. "Where are the girls?"
"I put them to bed. It was for their own survival, believe me."
He laughed and hopped over the couch landing near my ankles. "Oh I believe you. Sarah answered your phone an hour or so ago. I told her to give it to you and she hung up but what I heard in the background sounded like pandemonium."
He glanced around the room his eyes landing on every task I didn't complete today. The laundry was still growing a new pile on the love seat, dirt and leaves were still scattered across the floor, toys were touching every surface that couldn't run for it's life, and if he went in the kitchen he'd know I never got to the breakfast dishes let alone lunch or the trash from dinner. The house looked pretty much like it always did these days.
"So what did you guys do today?" he asked.
I felt the annoyance prickle my skin. "I know it doesn't look like much but I did a lot today I just had two little Tasmanian devils twirling behind me and undoing it all. But it's not like I sit here all day and do nothing."
"Woah," he said, raising his hands up. "I wasn't saying that. I just wanted to know how your day was. I'm not saying a word about the house. Did you get any writing done today?"
"No!" I said and jumped up from the couch. "I didn't write when they napped because Sarah refused to sleep again for the third day this week. I didn't surf the web, I didn't even take a shower. The house looks like this because of them not me-"
"Bella, stop." He stood up with me and reached out to rub my arms. "Calm down. I'm not criticizing you."
"Then why does it feel like you are?" I yanked my arms away and stepped back.
Jake sighed and then stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He pushed a couple buttons and brought it to his ear, "Emily? Hey it's me. Bella is a yes for the movie tomorrow and she'd love to do lunch afterwards. Keep her out as long as she wants," he paused listening to her response. "Okay. She'll see you then."
My mouth dropped open as he put the phone back in his pocket. "What was that about?"
"Emily told me to ask if you wanted to go so that new chick flick. I just made up your mind for you. You need a break. So go have a day with your girlfriends and I'll wrestle the wild beasts and whip the cave into shape." He pounded his fists on his chest in a show of prowess or something.
I gave him a peck on the lips and squeezed his arm. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"You're welcome. Hey, where are you going?"
"To shower. If I'm going out in public it'd be a good idea if I didn't smell like Tuesday morning's oatmeal."
"What's Sam doing up there?" I asked Emily as we arrived back at her house after the movie and lunch.
"Fixing the roof. It started leaking last night when that storm blew through."
"Again?" I asked, stepping out of the car. I really hoped they wouldn't have to get a new roof. They'd been saving up for Emily's plastic surgery. Not boobs or anything though we'd both confessed we wouldn't mind bigger ones, but to fix the deep scar she had on the side of her face. A new roof would obliterate those funds.
"Again? We've never had a problem with it before. What do you mean?" she said. We stopped on her lawn near my car.
"What? I thought...when I was gone Renee said Jake helped Sam with a roof repair. I meant to call you and make sure everything was okay and forgot. You just reminded me now. If it wasn't your roof then-"
"It was mine," interrupted Leah from behind us. She crossed the grass wearing shorts, a tank top and a low slung tool belt.
"Yours? You had a...leaky roof?" I said and she nodded.
"Sue did, to be exact. And with my dad gone and all, Jake and Sam were kind enough to help out. I'm returning the favor," she said motioning to her tool belt. She looked like a porn star holding that hammer and busting out of those short shorts and tight tank. Leah Gets Nailed.
"Oh, that's nice of you." I forced myself to smile. "Guess I misunderstood Renee. Or she didn't listen to Jake. Either is entirely possible. Alright, well I better get home. I'm sure the girls have made Daddy clinically insane by now." I hugged Emily as she laughed and waved to Leah.
I glanced at the clock when I pulled into the driveway and prayed the girls were taking a late nap and not an early one. And that Sarah was actually napping. It was selfish of me but the freedom had gone to my head and I wasn't ready to give it up yet. Though I knew I should probably start tackling whatever mess they had added to yesterday's. How did single mothers do it? When there was no one to step in and take over when they needed a break?
I opened the front door to dead silence and the smell of lemon Pine-Sol. I looked down to the gleaming floor and picked up my foot. It didn't stick. He'd mopped the fucking floor. As I continued on I saw an unnerving absence of chaos and crap. There was no clutter and every surface sparkled. I ended my tour at a very satisfied Jake smiling on the couch. I frowned as he stood to kiss my cheek.
"Surprised?"
"Well, yeah. Did you recently come into possession of some magical elves I don't know about?"
"Nope."
"You did this? Today? While I was gone? Where are the girls?"
"Here silly, I just put them to sleep."
"Sarah's asleep?" I asked and he nodded. "And you did all this with them here? Charlotte didn't scream at you every time you put her down or left the room? Sarah didn't take every book off the shelf or empty the fridge and spread chocolate syrup all over the floor?"
"What? No!"
"You laugh. I'm serious. Those are the things they do to me when I try and focus on anything put the pair of them and whatever imaginary princess game we're playing. Its not fair. How come they let you get all this done and you turn out looking like a fucking superhero dad who can do it all?" My eyes welled up with tears. "Sarah's really asleep? Are you kidding me?" I wailed and collapsed on the couch.
"Shhh, Bella, you'll wake them up. What is wrong? I was trying to do something nice for you. It's Mother's Day tomorrow. I wanted to give you a break. You're acting like you're mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you. I'm annoyed with you. I thought I'd come home all triumphant showing you how hard it is to be with them all day and you've shown me up. You made me look like I can't do my job for shit. How would you like it if I came down to the job site and you know, built your stuff for you but better and faster and everyone was like, damn Jake your wife is good at your job."
Jake stared agape and then broke into laughter. "You have no idea what I do at work do you?"
"No, not really but that's hardly the point." I huffed and crossed my arms but eventually found his laughter contagious. "You really weren't trying to one up me?"
"Okay, maybe a little," he admitted despite my glare. "But, I wanted to give you some time to write. I don't understand it but I'm trying to be supportive. Plus you're a lot happier when you've had time to work on your stuff."
"Oh, really? Sorry. What are you going to do?"
"I was going to head over to Sam's. His roof gave way in the storm last night. I think he could use an extra set of hands."
"Besides Leah's you mean?"
"Um, yeah," he said, shrugging. "This damage is pretty bad though, I'm really hoping we can take care of it ourselves." He walked over to the table by the door and slipped his keys and phone in his pocket before heading out.
"See you later then," I called as he left. "Don't nail anything," I whispered as the door shut.
I stretched my arms above my head and considered the possibility of writing for a couple hours. Powering the laptop up I felt that familiar tickle in my ear to break the unspoken rule. I went to facebook and typed "E.A. Cullen" in the search field. I held my breath as the fan page loaded. There were several new posts for interviews and book reviews. I moved the mouse over a video link and pressed play after a moment of hesitation. His voice filled the room and I shuddered instantly. I hit pause with shaking hands.
This was the guilty pleasure I allowed myself to indulge every few weeks. I thought of him everyday, that I could not help, but I restricted the time I spent facebook stalking him. I didn't contact him, I refused to even "like" the fan page or search out his personal one using the email address he's given on the class roster. I could tell when his "people" posted on the page and when he did it himself. His voice was that distinct and even though I knew he was writing for his thousands of fans sometimes it felt like it was meant just for me. Like last Thursday at two a.m. a post popped up that had to be him.
There's a vase of fresh cut freesia on my desk tonight. I'm finding myself distracted, remembering where I've smelled this little blue beauty before.
I had been on at the same time scrolling through his PR photos when I went back to the main wall and saw it waiting for me. I itched to hit the "send message" button and instead I signed out and drew a bath, dumping in a newly replenished supply of salts. Joining me in the tub was the small waterproof toy I'd purchased at the Passion Party one of the girls hosted. I sloshed water all over the floor while biting my lips from screaming his name.
I reached for my earbuds and turned the volume all the way up. Settling into the couch and balancing the laptop on my stomach, I hit play again. I closed my eyes and saw him sitting across from me. Just like I'd never left.
Summer
"So what do you think?"
I looked around the room taking in the four poster bed, the hand strewn rose petals, the candles and bottle of champagne. I thought it was a tad cliche but after months of a fireless tundra I wasn't about to say that.
"It's amazing Jake. I can't believe you did all this," I wrapped my arms around him.
"Well like I said, it's our seventh anniversary this weekend and your twenty-seventh birthday next month. I think both are reason to celebrate."
"When did you get so sweet?"
"I've always been this sweet. Maybe you stopped noticing."
"Hmm, no. I think I'd definitely notice all this," I said, waving my hand around. "And I'm pretty sure you've never whisked me away before to a B&B for a night of wining and dining. That I would notice."
"Well I've never done exactly this before. I figured it was time to step it up a notch. Sam helped."
"I knew it! I knew there was no way you came up with this on your own." I smiled and winked at him.
"Bella," he said, taking my hands in his, "you are my best friend. You are the most amazing mother to our girls. They are so lucky to have you..." He choked up and dropped my hand to push a fist against his eye. "I wish my mom-"
"Shh, Jake. It's okay. I know, baby. It's okay."
I ran my hands down his arms and pulled him towards the bed. We sat down and he pushed his face into my chest as I held him. Jake could never talk about his mom without getting emotional and by now I was used to breakdowns during milestones or major events. I thought having the girls would help him but in a lot of ways it was worse. I felt like I was a constant reminder of the mother he didn't have.
His weight pressed against me as I held his head. His left hand moved up and down my leg and he pushed his nose into my breast. I squeaked a little as he put his mouth against my sweater covered nipple and let his hand wander beneath my dress.
"Baby, it's okay. We don't have to right now if you don't want to. I know you're upset." I dragged my fingernails along his scalp. That always calmed him down.
"I brought you here for us. I want to love you Bella." He brought his mouth to my nipple again and I stifled a moan.
"I want you to love me Jake."
"Do you?" he asked.
When I nodded yes, he stood and pushed me back on the bed. I pulled my dress and sweater over my head and lifted my mouth to kiss him as he fumbled with his jeans and shirt. Since he was distracted I used the opportunity to slip my hand inside my panties and encourage the wetness I now knew I was capable of creating. The memories hit me hard and I sucked on Jake's lip in a gasp which made him pull back a little. I refused to let him go and lifted myself again to meet him. He stood between my legs crouching over me. I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him down again.
It should have been easy not to fantasize about Edward while Jake's hands roamed my body. His clumsy touch was nothing like the precise lightning bolts of Edward's. Still, his were the first hands beside my own to touch me since then and after months of fantasizing I couldn't help but imagine Edward here.
Jake kneaded my breast with one hand and slipped another between my leg. "Wow Bella," he said as his fingers glided across my center.
I saw Edward lick his lips and I pushed myself onto Jake's fingers. He groaned a "holy shit," and held his hand still as I writhed against him. Edward called me Bluebell and euphoria rose in my body as I squeezed around his fingers. Jake let go of my chest to clutch his dick and move it up and down above my legs. I saw his eyes shut tight and closed my own, two could play at that game.
Edward told me how good I felt and begged me to fuck him. I reached out to Jake's hard cock, pulled myself off his hand, and slipped him in. "Shit, oh my God," he cried at the sensation his hardness and my wetness created. Edwards hand grazed my hip and I lifted my pelvis to pull Jake in deeper. "Oh fuck, oh fuck," he said starting up his jack hammer pace.
"Oh no you don't," I said and scrambled across the bed away from him.
"What? Where are you going?" he asked in a daze.
"Trust me, come here." I pulled him on the bed pushing him over onto his back.
"I don't know Be-"
"Jake, shhhh," I said, closing his eyelids with my fingertips. He stopped fighting me and I reached between us to grasp him. I teased my clit with his cock and his eyes flew open before I stretched up to shut them again. I swirled his head around my swell and Edward whispered, "I told you I knew how to touch you."
I let out a whimper and dropped down on his length. I used one hand for balance on the bed and the other for orgasm on my clit as I rode him. Edward smiled his twinkling cock eyed grin and I came on a whimpering and shuddering Jake.
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love for Edward to post facebook status updates just for you~~
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