I kind of feel like throwing out some random names in the thank you to see if anyone notices.Kidding! This is more for me and them than anyone else but this week I love, as always, drunknessie, sugartits, kstewfangirl and agirlreckoning. Surprise, surprise! Next week they're all getting new nicknames just to spice this up a bit!
I wanna sit you down and talk
I wanna pull back the veils
And find out what it is I've done wrong
I wanna tear these curtains down
~~Low Rising, The Swell Season
Summer
~~BPOV~~
"Is that the mail?" I asked from the nest I'd made on the couch.
"Yeah," he said and walked into the kitchen.
"Can I have it please?"
I shouldn't have had to ask. It felt like when you call someone's house and ask if they are there, and the other person answers "yes" and then does nothing. As if you were calling just to check.
"Anxious much?" he asked, coming back in the room with a glass of water. "I was getting your medicine."
He handed me the glass and dropped the pill in my hand before plopping on the couch at my feet. He glanced through the mail putting aside the bills and junk flyers in separate stacks.
"That pile of mail we've got going in the kitchen is out of control. The basket is full of crap. We need to go through it when we get it, I can't even find the bills that are due." He complained about the same thing every couple months.
"Bring it to me, I'll go through it. Not like I have anything better to do."
"What are you waiting on anyways?" he asked.
"I found a book I wanted for a dollar and I had a code for free shipping. I thought it would be here by now."
He went into the kitchen and returned with the basket stuffed with mail, and whatever other odds and ends didn't have a place. He took a handful and began to sort.
"Who is Garrett Vol-Vols-Volsi-however you say this?"
"Hmm? I said, looking up from the catalog he'd tossed on my lap a second ago. "Oh, Garrett and Kate, they're writer friends."
He passed me the envelope and I tore it open, cooing at the baby announcement inside. He was born two months ago, healthy and pink, and really cute for a wrinkled up newborn. Jake was watching me and I flashed him the card.
"Cute baby. How do you know them?"
"The conference in Monterey. They go each year. Garrett was actually the first person I met last year, he held the shuttle bus for me at the airport."
"What does he write?" Jake said.
"Poetry. Kate writes travel books. They're kind of popular, actually, among the go-green-live-with-just-the-shit-you-can-carry-crowd. You know, she goes to all kinds of random places, and tells you where you can sleep for ten bucks and eat for two."
He already had stopped listening. Our electric bill was open in front of him. I reached into his lap and pulled out a thick cream envelope that had an embossed seal in the corner.
"What's the date today?"
"The 30th," I answered with my breath catching as I took in the return address.
"Damn it, this is already late. We have to get on top of this shit Bella, I—"
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" I jumped off the couch, getting caught up in the blanket around my legs.
"What?"
"No way! I can't believe this, I won." I shook the letter in front of his face.
"Won what?"
"Remember? I told you I entered that short story contest over the spring. The deadline was right after I got back from my trip? I was all stressed about getting it done? How long has this been in here?" I flipped over the envelope and looked at the date stamp.
"You'd think they'd call or something. Who sends a letter?" Jake said, reaching for the paper.
"Oh thank Mary, this only came last week. And I can't frame a phone call. I'd rather have it in writing any day."
"It says here you need to contact them." Jake pointed to the page.
I opened my mouth to respond but a hacking cough escaped instead. I fell back to the couch and choked on my phlegm while Jake handed me the glass of water.
"You sound like shit, Belly. Are you sure that antibiotic is working?"
"I've only got the prescription filled yesterday. The cough syrup helps, I'll take some."
"What are you going to do with the girls tomorrow? You get winded just trying to stand." He rubbed my ankles and reached back into the basket.
"Emily offered to take them so I can rest. This really sucks. The first week of nice, almost summer-like weather, and I've got bronchitis."
I picked up the letter in my lap. He had no idea how huge this was. How many thousands of entries went into this ancient and esteemed journal? I know he was worried about me being sick, but I couldn't even think about that now. I had won, I had a thousand dollar prize winning check to claim, my story would be published in their journal, and it was an impressive accomplishment for query letters. Not to mention, people in the business actually followed who won this thing. It's was a big mother fucking deal. Bronchitis was not.
I wanted to celebrate, I wanted to dance on my rooftop, sing in the sunshine, stand on the edge of the beach and yell into the waves.
"That's cool about the contest, good job."
It was a nice try. His enthusiasm matched his ignorance about the magnitude of this honor. Still, he tried.
"Hey, look at this," he said and waved a postcard in front of me. "Save the date for Bella's ten year reunion. Ten years already? Damn you're old."
"Ha ha. Just because your school didn't have one, doesn't mean it hasn't been ten years. Besides, I'm younger than everyone there, so I win."
"We can't all be so naturally brilliant that we skip the first grade." He stuck his tongue out at me as he looked at the invitation.
When is it again? September? I saw Jessica last week at the store and she told me about it."
"Yep."
"Woo hoo, back to school."
"We're going right?" he asked.
"Gag. I don't know. It depends who is coming. I'm not paying fifty bucks a head to hang out with the people who live here. I could do that for free down at the bar any Saturday night."
"Fifty bucks? Jesus!"
"Well, it's whoever's fault that let Jessica Newton plan it. She said she wants something 'classy.' She rented out the place we had our prom."
"Did she now? Well then we're definitely going." Jake grabbed a pen and marked the response on the reply postcard. He looked at me and grinned.
I gave him a meek smile, and felt the phlegm slide down my throat to settle like putty at the bottom of my stomach. It was funny how that one word could conjure up so many emotions.
Prom.
It was the first time I saw Jake as anything but a friend. I had been dumped by Mike Newton the month before the rite of passage, and he quickly moved on to Jessica Stanley who, despite being my friend, had been waiting for him in the wings. I decided I wasn't going, even though I had a dress my mom had picked up for me in New York, and a pair of shoes that were cute, and didn't make my feet feel like they were on a bed of nails.
I was laid out across the couch in Jake's garage one afternoon lamenting about the loss of Mike, which in hindsight wasn't much of a loss at all, but rejection is rejection, and Jake was listening. His arms were wrapped around the body of a motorcycle he was trying to salvage and he wasn't wearing a shirt. A slow bead of sweat worked its way down the sinews of muscles across his back and I was mesmerized.
He looked up when my voice had trailed off and caught me staring. He'd had a crush on me since we were kids, but this was the first time I even entertained the thought of kissing him. I blushed at his notice, and he chuckled under his breath, and wrapped a wrench around a stubborn bolt.
"I'll take you," he said with a shrug. "If you want."
It was the way he asked that got me, like he didn't care if I said yes or no. I thought about how Mike had always been a little jealous of our friendship and gloated at how crazy it would make him.
Ten years ago, I could see him as more than my best friend. Ten years we'd spent going in reverse.
I hadn't noticed that Jake was rising off the couch, taking piles of junk paper to the recycling bin. He straightened a stack of bills and tossed something to me. The manila envelope hit me in the chest and I felt the weight of it against my heart.
"That was at the bottom, had to have been in there for weeks. I think it's the book you were waiting for," he said before walking away.
"Thanks," I said, pushing it aside.
I was still transfixed by the letter, and the ache in my chest from where the package hit me, and where I felt the emptiness of having no one to share this with.
"Why didn't you ever tell me about why Mom left?"
Charlie looked surprised as he reached for his beer and lifted a shoulder. "Wasn't my place to say. I sort of figured you knew."
The easy answer. The truth, was closer to the fact that he never talked about it, let alone went into detail. We were alike in that way. I was genetically predisposed to be passively avoidant.
I'd gone to my father's because I was mad at Jake. We'd had a disagreement and I wanted to go somewhere I wouldn't be asked any questions. I knew I could count on Charlie not to question why we turned up on his doorstep, unannounced, on a Sunday afternoon.
"How'd you find out?" he asked.
"She told me when she was here in March."
"Did she? Why was she wading in the water under that bridge?"
"I don't remember how it came up. Just did."
"Huh." He reached for the remote and adjusted the volume of the baseball game. It wasn't Phil's team, though I knew they were playing today.
"What'd you do?"
"When?"
"When she left. Did you try and stop her? Get her to stay? Did you fight for her at all?"
Charlie groaned and rubbed his mustache before frowning at me. "It wasn't the first time Bella. I figured I could keep holding on to something that was already gone or I could drop the reins."
I stared out the window feeling the fullness in my eyes. I was beseeching Charlie when I should have been finding the strength to confront Jake. I tried today. I took a tiny step towards talking to him and it blew up in my face.
"How come you never got remarried?"
Charlie shook his head and pulled at the tab on the can. "No reason to," he said and sighed.
I'd told Jake that maybe we should think about counseling again. That I didn't think he was happy and neither was I. Instead of turning me down like he had in the past, he raged, telling me that if I was unhappy that was my own shit, and that I shouldn't drag him down with me.
I sat, stupefied and wondered if what he said was true. Who had checked out first? And was it the misery that had us living with secrets, lying in lies? Or had our trespasses made us this way? There were chickens and eggs scattered all over this mess.
I thought maybe I should just tell him. Get it over with. The thought made me nauseous, but I had it at least once a day. Then the sun would set and I'd think, maybe tomorrow. Before I knew it a month of Sundays were gone, and then another. I was good at talking myself out of imploding my world. Happiness was overrated after all.
I handed Charlie another can of beer and he ruffled my hair. Not only did he not bother me with any questions, he took mine in stride. I didn't appreciate him enough. Add that to my list of shit to get better about.
"Bella?" Emily called out as she came in the front door.
"In here Em," I hollered from the living room.
"Laundry day? Awesome," Emily said, making her way around the piles in the living room.
"I'm so behind. I haven't done a load in two weeks. We're down to our bathing suits to wear."
"Oh man, I could never. If I get a day behind I'm so overwhelmed. Where are the girls?"
"Shhhh, you'll ruin it! They've been playing together on their own for half an hour. And not one of them has screamed yet. We may have turned a corner." I clasped my hands together.
"Oh don't think it doesn't cycle, what are you watching?" She sat down and pulled on a pile of dry towels, swiftly folding one and then another.
"Today Show. Where are your kids?" I said, walking to the kitchen to get her a cup of coffee.
"Grandma's!"
"All your kids are spoken for, and you've come here to watch crap morning television with me, and fold my laundry? Your life is sad."
"Oh! Turn it up, turn it up." Emily was spastic as she leaped off the couch to search for the remote on the table. "He is so unbelievably gorgeous. God, what I wouldn't give for…"
She turned up the sound and Matt Lauer's voice drowned out those last words. I dumped out another basket, and was prepared to match socks while I waited to see who she was talking about. I didn't need the camera to pan across his face, I heard his laugh and knew.
The heat climbed my body, ending with a flush on my face as Edward's smile filled my living room. I couldn't even hear what they were asking him, or his responses, I was captivated by his larger than life face a few feet away from me.
We had kept our distance after this year's conference; there were no crafty Facebook status messages in the wee hours of the morning. He didn't call or text, although he'd programmed our numbers in both our phones. I didn't even email him when I'd won the award last month, even though I wanted to. It felt wrong, now that we were so firmly over the line, rather than tip toeing the edge of it. We'd let each other go back to our lives.
"Have you read those books, Bells?" she said when they went to commercial break. "The Vampires After Midnight series? They are so, so good. I've been waiting for this one to come out. I have it pre-ordered on Amazon and everything. The one before this was sold out at the bookstore by the time I got to Port A, I wasn't making that same mistake twice."
"Yeah, I've read them. I think they're great," I said. That was the truth. It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie.
"I have such a crush on the author. Gah, he's so hot! And suave, like, you know? Like he's from another time or something. He is so on my freebie five."
This conversation was swerving from uncomfortable to totally inappropriate.
"Freebie five?" I asked, fumbling with the socks.
"Uh, yeah! The five celebs you get to have a night of passionate sex with, if ever given the opportunity, no repercussions. Tell me you have a freebie five."
"Never really thought about it," I said. Was it hot in here? I pulled at my shirt and wiped my brow.
"Oh come on! You have to have a five, I know mine and Sam's. I'm sure Jake—oh it's back on!"
I watched the screen pretending I was only interested because Emily was, and fought the longing that was burning in my chest.
"Now I've read the book, the reviews are phenomenal, tell me, what do you think sets this one apart from the others?" Matt Lauer crossed his legs, while peering at Edward through the glasses he wears when he wants to looks smart.
"I don't know, really. I think Masen's struggle for purpose has really resonated with people, and now that he's finding something to 'live' for, I think people are rooting for him," Edward said looking humble.
"Resonated, that's the word I would use. And wouldn't you say that now that it's become this, well, epic, love story that that's what's drawing them in? The love story?"
"Epic love story, you say?" Edward laughed. "Well sure, maybe. Who doesn't love, love?" He looked into the camera and his eyes sparkled.
"Oh my god," Emily squealed and kicked her feet in the air. "Doesn't it seem like he's saying it straight at you?
"Yes, yes it does," I said
"Talk to me about what inspired the change in the character who previously had been so dark and haunted? What was it that made you think, hey, this is what this guy needs? Something in your life, perhaps?"
God ,how I hated Matt's questions. There were always so stupid. Did he even read the books? Or any books? Wait, what did he just ask?
"My life, eh? Well, I just think that it's what we all do here, while we are here on Earth. Look for the one thing we can take with us. Masen is no different."
Again with the smile, and the side eye to the camera. It was like he knew I was watching.
"No different, just two hundred years old and a blood sucking vampire!" Matt laughed like it was the most hilarious thing anyone had ever thought to say. "Well that's all the time we have, thank you, E.A., for joining us. And you all can find a copy of the third Vampires After Midnight novel in your bookstores on Friday."
The music started as the cameras pulled away and I saw Matt lean into Edward and pat his arm as they spoke. I wondered what he was saying.
"God, I can't wait for those movies to come out. I wish he'd play Masen. Is it wrong that I fantasize about hunting that man down?" Emily asked, her eyes staring at nothing as she tapped her fingers across her coffee mug.
I just realized how awkward it was that I hadn't told her I knew him at all. If I brought it up now, it would seem strange but now that I knew how into him she was, if she found out later, it would be stranger. If I did tell her, even if I made it sound casual, she would have a million questions I couldn't answer without lying. Ignorance was bliss. Again.
I carried the next load into the mud room that housed the washer and dryer and started the machine. As I waited for it to fill I saw a thick envelope on the shelf near the coat racks. I'd forgotten it was there, that book I'd ordered that Jake had found in the bottom of the mail basket a few weeks ago. I'd had it in my hands when the dog ran in the house all muddy, and had to throw it up there to catch the little bitch before she destroyed my floors.
I pulled it off the shelf and stuck my finger beneath the seal of the envelope to work it open. The dryer buzzed as I pulled the top apart and turned it over letting the book fall in my hands. I saw his name first and it registered that this wasn't what I was expecting. I flipped the envelope over and saw my name in his thick blue writing. The postmark was nearly two months old. Edward sent me his book two months ago, and I hadn't even known it until now. For two months, a piece of him had been in my house, unnoticed.
I opened the jacket looking for an inscription and saw a blank page. I shook the envelope and nothing came out. I furrowed my brow in confusion. It wasn't like Edward to have sent it with nothing and it definitely came straight from him. I ran my fingers along the page edges, feeling a thickness towards the middle. I opened to the page and found a slim envelope pushed into the binding.
"Shut up! How did you get your copy already?" Emily said, coming into the room and spying the envelope on the washer and the book in my hand.
"Um, I, um…" I snapped the book shut before she could see the letter.
Don't be a liar Bella, don't be a liar.
"I guess it got sent to me early."
"Lucky girl. I'm going to go home and stalk my mailbox until it comes. And if it doesn't, I'm going to be back for that," she said pointing. "So read fast."
My fingers dug into the book as if to tell her she'd have to fight me for it. "Are you really going home to look for it?"
"Yes and no. I do have to get going. As much as I love folding your laundry for you, that's not the reason I came over."
"No? What's up?"
"Well, now that I've buttered you up, you have to say yes."
That didn't sound promising. "Yes to what, Em?"
"Just a little something, it'll be fun. And a good way to make some extra cash."
"My interest is peaked, what have you got up your sleeve?"
"Ok, so remember how I told you that I got a karaoke machine a few months back? Well, I've started booking some stuff. Bars that want karaoke night, but also the community center for teen night, and the nursing home wants to do every other Friday, and…"
"And what?"
"I was wondering if you could do some of the nights I couldn't? It's easy and fun, and whatever nights you do, I'll give you the cash. It really is fun, Bells. You'll have a blast."
I would have agreed to anything to get her out my door so I could read that letter. "Sure Em, whatever. I think it sounds great."
"Oh, awesome," she said, and clapped her hands. "You're such a lifesaver. Come over this weekend and I'll show you how it all works, it's real easy. And then if you can, I've got a place that wants it next Thursday and—"
"Sounds great," I said and walked her to the door. "Count me in."
"Oh, awesome! I'm so relieved. Leah was going to do it, but since she's been going down to the base every chance she gets, I doubt she's interested anymore."
"Base? Why is Leah going to the base?"
"I didn't tell you about that guy she met last month, when we were out one night? Newly stationed, hot as all get out? Boy is fine. And he has it baaaad for her."
Hold up, my husband's girlfriend had a boyfriend? Interesting.
"She drives all the way to Oak Harbor to see him?" I asked.
"Yep, and he's driven down to see her too. Either way, she'd rather be doing him then helping me. Oh shit it's late, I've got to go finish my errands before the little people are re-deposited back on my doorstep. Catch you later, hon." Emily gave me a hug before jogging to her van.
I tried not to let the news of Leah's extracurricular activities settle too deep in my mind. I wondered if Jake knew, or if she was two-timing him and the Navy boy. At least I was honest with Edward about where I stood, even if I couldn't be with Jake. I shook my head in disbelief. Look at me throwing rocks from my glass house.
I peeked my head in on the girls and went back to the living room with Edward's book still in my hand. I opened it back to where he'd tucked the letter inside and pulled it out of the envelope. The envelope went back to mark the page because if I knew him, he'd picked it for a reason.
I unfolded the paper and smoothed my fingers along the creases, feeling the slight raise of ink off the page. My heart tightened and I took a deep breath, willing the oxygen to smooth the frays.
Dear BB,
It has been 56 days since I saw you last. I know, because I counted them all. When I get to 364, it will have been worth it. Until then, here are 102,739 words. I could have written a million. Every one of them belongs to you.
BH
I smiled at his shorthand use of the nicknames we'd bestowed. I bit my lip and read the message again. It was so short, but so him, so us. He couldn't dedicate the book to me publicly, so he did privately.
I knew how I wanted to respond, and I also knew how much easier it would be with the aid of technology and email. However, I wanted to put forth the same effort as he, match him ink for ink, book for book.
I went over to the desk I'd set up in the corner of the room, and picked up the freshly printed copy of the manuscript I'd only finished days ago. It was heavy in my arms, bearing the weight of the work I'd put into it. I found a piece of paper in my drawer and sat down.
BH,
I knew that one day the penalty for avoiding my mail would reveal itself. Now it's been 104 days since we parted, but only 20 minutes since I opened your letter.
In an offer of pittance I'm giving you 90,513 words. Not an exact match, but I come close. It is because of you that they exist at all. There's no fancy cover or glowing reviews, but I'm damn proud nonetheless.
You are the first, but no need to be gentle. Give me the truth. Always.
BB
"Do you think she's trying to relive our prom?" Angela leaned in next to me at our table and whispered in my ear.
"Yes. Isn't she wearing the same dress but shortened?" I said and we both looked across the room to Jessica.
She was circling the room and waving like someone had crowned her Reunion Queen, dragging Mike behind her. Angela and I burst out laughing when she pulled him straight into a pillar without even noticing.
"That is definitely the same dress," Angela said with a smirk.
"I'm so glad you're here, I wasn't going to come, especially since I've had this damn cough all summer, but when I heard and you and Eric were coming, there was no way I was missing it." I touched my forehead to hers and we smiled at each other.
"Did I hear my name, are you bitches talking smack?" Eric hopped on each empty chair between us, until he was next to me and pushing his face into our love fest.
"Us? Talking smack? That's your job," I said, pulling on his tie.
"What can I say? Someone has to do it. Speaking of….you would not believe the juice that just got squeezed into my inbox. I have a fact checker on it now, but I'm just bursting to spill. Vasili, come here love, bring my phone too."
He motioned to the quiet man he'd brought as his date. His face was familiar from their yearly Christmas cards, but he'd hardly said a word all night.
"Oh hold on, there's Ben. I want to go over and say hello," Angela said, before digging in her bag to reapply her lipstick. She ran her tongue across her teeth and jumped up from her chair. Amazing, ten years later, he walks in the room, and she's a puddle.
"Where is it? Don't tell me I deleted it. Vas, did you touch my phone? What have I told you about my phone?"
"I did not touch it. I swear. I never touch your phone," Vasili said in a quiet accent.
"Damn it, I don't know what I did with it. Oh well, I'll wait until I can go public. Read the blog, Bells, read the blog."
"Oh I do," I said and laughed. "It's my first stop online every morning. You always have the best scoops. Who knew little old Eric Yorkie would be THE Hollywood gossip?"
"Oh please, like you couldn't see it coming. The only reason I was on the newspaper, was for an excuse to get up in everyone's business. And now that you mention it, I, like, just found out we have a friend in common."
I pretended I wasn't choking on the ice cube I'd just swallowed. It dug at my throat while I tried to look disinterested.
"Oh, really? Who?"
"Mr. Vampilicious Edward Cullen. Man, I've wasted a lot of hours begging the gods for that man to go gay. No offense, Vas. Freebie Five."
How did everyone know about this Freebie Five but me? I could have just declared Edward on my list and been totally done with it.
"Oh yeah, I met Edward at the writing conference I go to. How do you know him?"
Was playing stupid, smart at all? What if he knew better than that? How strange would it look that I was downplaying?
"Oh, we're besties. He used to live next door to me. Now Thorn, that's his fiancé, she uses the house as her office. That's the only reason I forgave him for taking my girl away, and plunking her up on the mountain. At least I can still go bug her in the middle of the day when we're both supposed to be working."
"Thorn?" I asked.
"Just my little pet name for her. We adore Thorn, don't we, Vas? If I'm not praying for Edward to swing my way, I'm asking the good Lord to let me come back in my next life as Rose Hale."
"Very beautiful Miss Thorn," Vasili said while smoothing the lapels of his embroidered vest.
"Beautiful? Please, the Romans would have carved statues after her. She's great Bells, you'd love her. So much fun. I mean, really. You go out with that girl and you can't help but have a good time. Look," he said thumbing through pictures on his phone. "Such a laugh."
I'd seen photos of Rose before. There was one of her and Edward eating at some restaurant in LA a couple months back in a magazine. He was avoiding the camera and she smiled right at it. She was beautiful , no doubt, but she didn't hold a candle to him.
I paused on a photo of Vasili with Edward and Rose in a large room full of party goers. Edward was holding a glass in the air like he was giving a toast, and Vasili was passing Rose a bottle behind his back. She was in the tiniest dress I'd ever seen.
"What's this from?" I said.
"House warming. They just moved a couple months ago. Hollywood Hills. Their old place was getting a lot of foot traffic since the last book landed. People just driving by, taking pics, hoping to see him getting the newspaper in his underwear, that sort of thing. His new place is a fucking fortress."
"They look cute together," I said as he moved on to another photo of the four of them with squashed faces in the back of what looked like a cab. Edward was drunk, I knew that face.
"Oh, they are. He worships her. They're my new mommy and daddy. You know, since my old ones decided they didn't like each other as soon as I moved out. Hey Vas, will you get me another drink? I'm dying here."
I wasn't sure if Vasili was there as his date or his hand maiden.
"Anyways, I had no idea you two knew each other, and then there I am talking with Rose before my flight yesterday and Edward came in, heard where I'm going, and got all funny about it. I totally forget his parents live here. He's so weird about it. But he said to tell you hello."
"He did?"
"Sure. Asked if I'd see you and I said probably. Told the fucker he should come with, see what could have been."
"What did he say?"
"He said, maybe next time. Wouldn't it have been crazy if he'd gone to school with us? I would have crushed hard core. Like, more than now. Not like I could see him with anyone else but Thorn. Especially now that…"
"Who are we talking about?" Jake asked falling into the chair on the other side of me and wrapping his arm on my shoulders.
"Oh, just a writer we both know," I said. Not a lie. "Hey, I saw you talking to Quil. Who is he here with?"
"That Claire girl. Remember her? He's dated her on and off. She's sort of related to him but not in a blood way?"
"Oh yeah, his sort of cousin. Well that's cool. I didn't expect you to have any Rez friends here."
Eric waved to us as he got up from the table to join Angela, Ben and Vasili on the dance floor. Jake weaved his fingers through mine and bobbed his head to the music. The conversation I just had was replaying over and over, and I didn't realize he had spoken.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What?" I said.
"I said you look beautiful." Jake smiled at me and squeezed my hand.
"Thanks," I answered, "you clean up pretty good yourself."
"You know, they're giving out awards. Most Improved, Most Successful, that kind of stuff. I put your name down for Most Unchanged. I think you're a shoe in."
"I'm not sure that's a compliment, Jake."
"Sure it is, Belly. You're just as beautiful as you were back then. You haven't aged a day. You still make my heart race."
I glanced at him expecting him to laugh at his own joke, but he was looking at me with something in his eyes I hadn't seen in years.
"Do I now? Well, what's gotten into you?"
"It's this place," Jake said. "We haven't been back here since that night. You asked me to your prom and then you jumped my bones."
"Hey now!" I said and smacked his leg. "You asked me to my prom and then….okay I jumped your bones."
"Good thing too. I was way too much of a pussy to make the first move. Remember the slow dances, you were rubbing up on me and I was freaking out."
"Yeah, you were trying to keep me at arm's length. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought you didn't have the hots for me."
"It was only because I thought you were drunk and trying to piss off Mike." Our heads both looked to Mike, still being led around by Jessica like a trained monkey on a leash.
"I wasn't drunk and I didn't care what Mike thought. I just realized…what had been in front of me the whole time."
That night we went from dipping our toes in the water, to heads fully under in the span of a few hours. It started with a first kiss at our table, to making out in a deserted gazebo, and ending with us in a room upstairs, undressing each other and fucking like the horny teenagers we were.
"If I remember it right, we were sitting just like this, and I told you that he was a fool for letting you go." Jake leaned in and took my chin in his hand.
"You said you'd never hurt me like that." My eyes searched his and they told him I knew.
He didn't answer. This time he made the first move. He kissed me at the table, but we skipped the make out in the gazebo, and headed straight for the stairs.
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love Bella to get her head on straight.~~
Gah! I know BPOV was not what y'all were wanting if it meant not knowing what's on that paper from last chapter. But if you'll notice there are clues in this chapter as to what's not on that paper. That's something, right? Right?
I'm thrilled to share the news with you that Tangled Up in Blue was nominated in the Twilight All Human Awards as a fic you could not stop reading! Thank you to whoever nominated it, I'm stoked! Please go nominate your favorite all human fics through Friday the 27th and remember to go back and vote starting August 30th! www(.)twilightallhumanawards(.)webs(.)com
I also entered an anonymous one shot contest so if you enjoy a little slash reading, come check it out. You can find the contest under my favorite authors in my profile titled "intheclosetcontest." (while you're there check out the Love Lost Contest, I haven't entered (yet, maybe) but there are some great entries)
And, lastly, an important note about the chapter song. It is beautiful and was chosen for this chapter ages ago. However, this posting coincides with the tragedy that occurred this week at a Swell Season concert where a man committed suicide on the stage. This hits close to home for me as it occurred at the winery where my husband worked in high school and where we were married. My thoughts and prayers are with the man's family and friends and the band/crew and 3000 concert goers/venue workers that were forced to witness his last act. I will take this moment to give a PSA. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, dropping hints, feeling hopeless, devising a plan, please please please find someone to talk to. You are not alone 1-800-273-TALK (National Suicide Hotline for the USA)
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