The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.
Thanks to my flock: Drunknessie, Sugartits, kstewfangirl and agirlreckoning. Y'all kick ass. Thanks for not griping too much about my William Faulkner-esque lack of commas and the thumbing of my nose at grammatical rule.
Sorry this update was slow coming. We've been battling a few (minor) health crises around here with the dude and my littlest bebe and mama bird has not had much time to herself. However you are getting a chapter that's double the length of my usual ones, so it all works out, yeah?
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
~~Sound of Pulling Heaven Down, Blue October
~~EPOV~~
Where the fuck was my brain? Busy fucking, that's for sure. Nothing was going according to plan. I was a man possessed. When she was near me, all rational thought flew out the window. I was consumed by my need to have her. If she were a drug I would have sold my skin just to have more.
I didn't set out on this trip prepared to fuck her. If I had, maybe I would have known what I was getting myself into. After all those times I thought about it, I never could have figured it'd be like this. For the first time in my life, it wasn't just a fuck.
Last year she was a temptation. I was pissed at Rose and bored of my life. It was all the same old song, sung to a different tune. Then, in walks Bella and she's playing on instruments I've never even fucking heard of. She sang infatuation, lust, obsession and I danced to her music.
This time, fuck, we were balancing on notes never played before. There was no road map for this shit, no book of instructions. I took her to bed, and then declared my love for another. She didn't care. I mean, she cared, of course, but she cared about me. She cared about Rose. She cared that I cared. It was all kinds of fucked up. After I said it, I wanted to kick my own balls. You don't tell a woman you're with that you love another woman, even if it's true. It's like answering yes to "do I look fat in this?" There's only one answer they're looking for and "I love someone else" isn't it.
But Bella wasn't like other women. Maybe that's why I didn't even pause, didn't flinch, and didn't think before I answered. Even though she'd been my lover not hours before, she asked about Rose as a friend, listened as a friend. I'd chalk all this up to us being friends with benefits, if it was that easy. It wasn't. I've had friends I've fucked, and it wasn't like this. Besides the absence of the jealously they weren't entitled to in the first place, this thing with Bella didn't even fucking compare.
First off, even calling her a friend felt insulting, like I was cheapening what she was to me. The 'with benefits' part was just laughable. Fucking Bella wasn't a benefit. Having her like that, taking her like that, getting her like that, it was a fucking honor that I should be falling on my knees and thanking God for. For fuck's sake, I was a writer who couldn't find the words to describe how being inside her felt. And I was never at a loss for words. Ever.
Bella said we traded souls, and God bless her fucking eloquence, because I knew I wouldn't come up with a better depiction of what happened. Yeah, I loved Rose, of course I loved Rose. But I couldn't compare that to how I felt about Bella, right now, in this moment. I don't even think you could call it love. Because I've loved before and it didn't feel like this. Whatever it was, I was positive no two other people had ever felt it before, because they hadn't even come up with a name for it yet. She and I were just Bella and Edward. No labels, no explanations, no qualifiers, we just were.
Maybe I shouldn't have told her about the "situation." I didn't plan on it, even though I can't imagine keeping secrets from her. It just seemed like one of those things that was better kept to myself. For one, I didn't want her to think that I went around snagging pelts left and right. More importantly, I didn't want it to seem like I had an excuse, a free pass for what we were doing. While fidelity wasn't asked of me, I had always given it nonetheless. Until now.
Here I was, laying in my bed with her sleeping beside me, and I wanted to wake her up, and not even because I wanted to have sex with her again. I wanted to talk to her. Tell her how I was feeling, ask her what she was thinking, reassure her that we'd figure this all out in time.
Mother fucking shit. She turned me into a fucking girl. One night with her and we didn't just 'trade souls', we'd swapped units. She grew me a fucking vagina. I was all giddy and emotional, and devising a romantic interlude with candles, and flowers, and shit. I'd spent so much of this time with her not thinking, not taking my time, that I wanted to slow it way down. I wanted to fucking worship her. I wanted to do what I promised a year ago, to make love to her, for her. Not just take her in a horny rush as we knocked over furniture and tore off clothing, fucking hot as it was.
Bella scratched at her head in her sleep and turned over facing away from me. Her arm hugged a spare pillow between her legs and I fixated on the place where her waist tucked into her hip. Her back was bare and she'd kicked off the blankets. Her shoulders were covered in freckles that had been blown in a gentle scatter down her back. Her hairs were all over my pillows while her scent permeated my bed, and she was breathtaking.
She'd fallen asleep after we'd had sex again early this morning, but we both needed to be up soon to make it to classes on time. I ran my nose along that triangle of waist, and hip, and arm, and she moved a little beneath me.
"Good morning...again," I said softly.
She smiled and opened her eyes, her hand drifting to my head, letting her fingers run through my hair.
"We need to get up so we're not late. You're welcome to shower here..." My voice trailed off, hopeful.
"Ugh," she said, slapping her hand to her forehead. "The walk of shame back to the cabin in last night's clothes."
"No one can see you Bluebell, your secret is safe with me."
"Well then, I better get going. As nice as a shower sounds, I really don't want to get back into dirty clothes after."
She stood from the bed and picked up her outfit from last night. "Oh right, yeah I can't wear this," she said holding up the tattered fabric.
"Fuck, Bella I'm sorry. I'll buy you another."
"Oh I don't care, I wasn't lying when I said I wouldn't wear it again. I just wasn't thinking about needing to wear it out of here."
I opened the door to the bathroom and found sweats and a shirt laying on the floor. I picked them up and handed them to her.
"Better than going naked right?" she said with a laugh, before pulling them on.
She drowned in their size but it was definitely better than sending her home in nothing but skin. I wanted to tell her to walk her cute ass down the hill and bring back all her shit, but I had a feeling that might be rash. That, and it might scare the shit out of her.
She scooped up her shit and shifted from one foot to another, glancing around the room. It took me a minute to realize she didn't know how to leave things.
"What are you doing tonight?" I asked.
"Avoiding whatever theme they're torturing us with."
"Good answer. Interested in keeping me company?" I was almost bashful, like I thought she'd say no.
"Of course."
I lifted my head and beamed at her. "Good. Come over when Zafrina leaves. I'd love to have you here earlier, but I actually have some shit I've got to take care of."
I kissed her before opening the door and watched her cross the meadow, back to her room. She waved once she reached her patio door and I lifted the hand of the arm that was leaning on my door frame. The room felt smaller without her with me, and I wanted nothing more than to fly through the day and have her back here.
I got dressed and ready for the first workshop, dragging my feet as I went. The first set of students were just plain old fucking awful. There wasn't enough talent in there to rub two nickles together, and listening to their pieces was boring the living shit out of me.
Not to mention, that Tanya chick always sat straight across from me and spent the entire class trying to catch my eye. Her novel was the worst, fluffy, girly chick-lit crap, where the characters had no redeeming qualities, and learned nothing from the life lessons thrown at them. It was obvious these things were only happening for some semblance of plot. She found herself hilarious, and couldn't keep from giggling at her own cliche jokes when she read aloud.
Her blatant attempt at being a cock tease would have been funny, if it wasn't so sad. She was either dense as sand, or her brain was full of it, because she just could not clue in that I wasn't interested. Sure, she was pretty and whatever. She had big-ass tits that she liked to let air, but she was the kind of girl you hung up wet, and my days of riding hard were long since forgotten.
Today was no different. She wore a short skirt that, for some reason, required her to cross and uncross her legs over and over beneath her desk. She made about fifteen sexual innuendos, and by the end of the session, every guy in the room, but me, had his shit in front of his hard on.
The next class was better, and there were several pieces in there that I was excited about. I could actually see this shit on the shelves. It was new, and different, and made me wish I'd written it first. Not really, but sort of. I was so sick of fucking vampires, and scared out of my gourd that I'd never be able to write anything else. Being around new authors reminded me of that thrill of inspiration and I begged for it to come calling again.
I popped into the kitchen at lunch to make some arrangements, and headed to town after my final sessions. I wished I could have spent some more time with Bella's book, but tonight needed what all the other nights lacked: some god damn preparation.
I wandered the aisles of the stores, my arms shooting out for what instinct told me I should get, but every time I put that shit back. This was Bella, and shit didn't need to be so contrived and sappy. It just needed to be us. I wanted this night to feel like a night we'd have if everything else disappeared, and we could just...be. I got back to my room just as a hotel staff member exited the door.
"Well it's all in there, just like you asked," she said, slipping her phone in her pocket and flashing a wolfish grin.
"Great, thanks..."
"Victoria. And hey, James said to tell you that he ordered a special bottle for you. Said you were dissatisfied last year with the selection. It's waiting at the bar."
"Right. The tequila. Well, we'll see. Thanks for your trouble," I said, passing cash into her hand.
"Yeah no problem," she answered while her fingers curled around the bills. "Anytime. Anything else you need, just holler."
"Literally, right? Since there's no phone and shit."
"Ha, ha. That's funny. Hey, can I ask you something?"
"I guess."
"Can I get you to sign my book? I'm a huge fan." Her eyes opened and shut rapidly as she grinned again.
"Yeah, sure. Anything for a fan. Bring it by. Just not tonight."
"Got it." She winked, and opened the door behind her to let me in, before springing off the porch and down the hill.
I unpacked the stuff from town, and took a shower to squeeze the ache out of my dick in an effort to keep tonight mellow. I was shaking the water from my hair when I heard a soft knock at the door. Pulling on a shirt, I opened the door and scooped Bella into my arms. A whole day was way too fucking long to go without touching her.
"Hey," she whispered on my neck.
"Hey yourself," I answered, before taking her face in mine and pressing my mouth to hers.
Her lips were soft, and tasted like something fruity, and my lips stuck to them as our mouths moved. I eased them open and let my tongue rub against hers until I felt the tightening of my pants and pushed off her.
"Come on in." I waved my arm around. I was a ball of fucking nerves.
"Oops, come here," she said, putting her hand to my mouth. "Lip gloss, all over your face."
Her thumb swept across my lips as she rubbed away the make-up. "Sorry, I shouldn't have put any on."
"No shit. This is a lipstick free zone. Since I'm going to kiss it off you the second I see you anyways."
We grinned at each other for a minute until she noticed the table behind me.
"What's this? Dinner?"
"Yeah. I figured our little game of hide and don't seek had you missing enough meals. Since we're not going to dinner and all that shit, I had dinner come to us."
I put my arm to her and pushed her towards the table. Laurent hadn't even balked when I asked him for a specific meal separate from whatever they were serving at tonight's party. Disco sucked balls as a party theme and I didn't even want to consider the possibilities of disco-themed food.
"Pizza. Oh my god. Yum. My favorite, how did you know?"
"Well, besides the fact that every other one of your Facebook updates is about pizza, you would not stop asking for it the other night when you were all shit-faced, so I figured it'd make you happy."
"So happy." She clapped her hands and wiggled in her seat.
"And this just isn't any pizza. It's Laurent's pizza. You'd think that fucker is Italian, the way he can make a pie. It's all highfalutin and gourmet shit, but it's the best thing you'll ever put in your mouth." I broke off a few pieces and put them on our plates before going to the fridge. "Beer?"
"Yes, please."
I opened both bottles and handed one across the table to her as the lights flickered. "What the hell?"
"You didn't hear?" she asked. "There's supposed to be thunderstorm tonight."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I fumed and took a swallow of beer.
"Um, were you planning on putting an antenna on the roof or something?"
"What? No. I thought it'd be cool to go walk the beach later or something," I said in a jumble and shoved a piece of pizza in my mouth.
"Hmm. Romantic dinner for two, moonlit walk on the beach...are you trying to woo me, Edward?
"Ha! Pizza and beer hardly qualifies as romantic, right? And yeah, maybe I am trying to 'woo' you."
"I've already been wooed, if that wasn't apparent. Your wooing has done me over."
"You've been woo-ified?"
"Yes," she said, laughing. "Well not fully. If you eat fast maybe we can make that walk happen before the rain."
"No. No rushing. All I've done with you is rush. Tonight, we're taking things slow, like tomorrow's never coming." I gave her a look and she squirmed from the intent.
"Well, you better hurry up or else there's not going to be any pizza left for you," she said, helping herself to another slice and ignoring any unsaid implications.
We polished off the entire pie, and while I lost count, I was pretty sure Bella put away more pieces than me. I was impressed. We got a fresh round of beers and she put on her sweater and tugged me to the door.
"Come on, let's go."
"What if it rains?" I said.
"Then we'll get wet," she grinned and smacked her lips.
I reached for my coat, feeling the air bite my skin when she opened the door. The wind had picked up, the sky a darkening gray. Our hands linked together as we made our way down the dunes to the beach.
We trudged closer to the water and firmer sand, to stop from sinking too deep. The rising moonlight was scattered behind the clouds and we both jumped when a distant thunder rolled, as the bagpipe notes began to pierce the night.
"I talked to Jake," Bella said, looking at her beer.
"You did, huh? What did he have to say?"
"Not much." Bella rolled her eyes and leaned against my arm. "I guess he was camping."
"He was? Who with?"
"Says he went with Sam and guys from work. That it was a perk, so to speak, for finishing their last job ahead of schedule. Claims he told me all about it and I wasn't listening."
"Did he?"
"Fucked if I know. He's right. I don't listen a lot." She shrugged and drank again. "Especially when he's blathering on about work."
"So you believe him?"
"Yeah, it has to be true since he'd know it'd only take one call to Emily to confirm. That's Sam's, his boss, wife. She's one of my closest friends."
"Oh. Does she know about...?"
"Jake and Leah? Oh, hell no. I wasn't kidding when I said I can't talk about it with anyone I know. Emily adores Jake. He and Sam are like brothers. And Leah's her cousin, so..."
"Messy."
"Yeah, no shit."
"So it's just me."
"It's just you. But I'll be honest. I almost told him I knew when we were on the phone."
"What stopped you?"
Bella chewed her cheek and shook her head into the wind. "I don't know. Seemed like one of those things that shouldn't be said out of anger. I was pissed at him for being gone, then I was pissed that he wasn't up to what I thought he was. Then I chilled out. Besides..."
"What?"
"I don't know. I think part of what's holding me back, after keeping it together for the girls and all, is that I don't want to tell him. I want him to tell me. I want him to come clean, because then I'd know his apology was heartfelt and not mandatory. You know?"
"Yeah, sort of. That makes sense."
"I just wouldn't want to say that I know about all this, and he says he's sorry and it'll stop, blah blah blah. How could I believe him? How would I know if he's sorry he did it, or just sorry he got caught?"
"Is that what you want? For him to be sorry and for you to work it out?" I asked what I'd been thinking, and chided myself for not being able to keep the handle on the jealousy, like she had.
She blew a puff into the air and frowned. "In some ways, yeah. Then maybe I could keep my little family in tact and my kids wouldn't grow up without a daddy, like I did. But I know that even if he did, it wouldn't change how I felt about him, or our marriage. And it wouldn't change the way I felt about us," she said and squeezed my hand, telling me the last "us" meant me and her.
"So in a perfect world, what would you want?"
"I want to be in love with my husband again, and for him to be in love with me, so my girls could have it all." She swatted at a stray tear and looked to me with sadness in her eyes. "But the world is not perfect and that's not going to happen. I won't ever love him like that, I know that now." She crunched our fingers together again.
"You don't have to say anything for my benefit, Bella. I wasn't real considerate this morning." I looked at my feet in the sand.
"What was it you said earlier? You don't bullshit. Well neither do I. This situation is what it is, and either of us going on pretending it isn't, is not going to do us any favors. We can escape to each other for a week every year, but there are fifty-one more weeks of reality waiting for us at home."
"It is what it is."
"Yep."
"It doesn't always have to be."
"Maybe not. But I don't want us making promises we may not be able to keep. Okay? Live in the moment, that's where I am right now."
"Vivre pour le moment." I poured the last of my beer in the sand and poked at it with the toe of my shoe.
"Well, of course it's sexier and less depressing in French."
"I always thought everything sounded more depressing in French."
"Nah. That's German. Or Russian. Nothing sounds happy in Russian."
I laughed and wrapped my arms around her neck to hold her tight. Her nose was cold against my neck and I realized she was shivering. I dipped my face down to kiss her and let my hand hold her chin. Her arms went inside my jacket, to wrap around me, and I could feel her like there weren't ten layers of clothing between us.
She pressed her tits against me as she sucked my tongue, and I forced myself to keep my hands out of her shirt. She sunk into me further, just as a wave crashed against our legs, and the sky burst above us.
"Fuck!" I yelled, reaching down for the empty bottles we'd dropped and stuffed them in my coat pockets.
She grabbed my hand and we drowned in the sand as we ran. The tips of her hair streamed like rivers and I stopped to pull off my soaked jacket to give to her. I stepped forward to shield it over her head and tripped in the sand reaching out instinctively and pulling her down with me.
"Damn it to hell. Fucking bullshit." I pounded at the sand and reached out to help her up. She was scrambling over to push me back and straddle my lap.
"You're so pissy when things don't go your way," she said, before leaning in to brush her lips across mine.
I reached out and grabbed her neck as she moved away to yank her back down and kiss her again. We were wet and cold, and I didn't give a flying pig's shit. I sat up, with her still on my lap, grabbed her ass with my hands as she wrapped her legs around me, and I pushed up to stand.
"I fully intend to carry your ass all the way back to the room," I said, in between kissing the fuck out of her mouth.
She dropped to my neck and I nudged her head over so I could see the road.
"It'll be faster if you put me down."
"No fast tonight, Bluebell. I already told you that. Besides, I quite like you bouncing around there."
Her ankles hooked behind my back as she tightened her grip around me. "There are some things we can take slowly but this isn't one of them."
I stopped to look at her and dropped her gently to the ground just as we approached the main house. A vein of lightening split the water and sky behind us and the wind blew through our dripping clothes.
"Alright, hurry the fuck up then," I said and we took off running up the road.
We shed a good majority of the wet clothes on the porch as we bolted in the door. Bella struggled to pull off her waterlogged jeans that were caked with sand, and I headed straight for the fireplace to light the logs I'd already stacked. She practically crawled in the hearth as the fire grew and sparked, rubbing her hands together and shaking in her wet underwear.
"Good job, boy scout. It was ready and waiting. Way to be prepared." Her hands went up and down her arms as she bounced from leg to leg. "What no bear skin rug? I'm starting to think you didn't have this whole seduction scene planned out."
"I don't think I'm doing so bad. I knew I turned you on and all, but look at your skivvies, they're soaked." I tucked my finger in her waist band and tugged at the white cotton. The buttons of my fly pushed against her as I took her in my arms.
"Yeah, well this isn't going to help dry them out." She sucked in her breath as I bit at her bra.
"What about you? Your jeans are practically dripping."
I laughed at the mental image and felt her cold fingers snap the buttons open and slip the pants down my hips taking my boxers with them. She bent over to pull them from my leg, letting her cheek brush against the erection I'd been sporting for the last hour. It bobbed at the contact and sought a warm cozy hole to hide in. Her head came up again, before going down the other leg, and she let my cock pass by her lips for just a second, no longer.
Her hand lifted my foot by the heel and pulled the last of my pants from my leg. I was standing butt-ass naked in front of a crouching Bella. Can't say I minded this position. My hand slid down her back to unclasp her bra and she shook it to the floor. I felt her fingertips grazing my thighs as she settled between them.
"What are you doing, Bluebell?"
"What do you think I'm doing?"
She smiled up at me coyly while she wrung water from her hair and twisted it in a knot on the top of her head. She pulled the end through the center and somehow it stayed. Fucking Houdini hair.
I grinned down at her kneeling on the floor, and she gave me a slow smile as she leaned forward. She stared at me through her lashes, never breaking eye contact, as she parted her lips and took me in.
"Oh God. Oh fuckkkkkkkk," I moaned in an instant, my hand smacked out against the mantle for support.
She giggled on my dick which sent my balls scampering up my sack, and all my blood pounding in her mouth. Her tongue flattened against my width, as my entire length slid down her throat. She milked me with her mouth, from base to shaft to tip, rolling her tongue across the top. I groaned again as she flicked at my sweet spot, letting her teeth run gently across it, while I pulsed against the roof of her mouth. She took me whole again, swirling her tongue, tightening her lips, and alternating in speed and pressure, and it was a fucking miracle I didn't die right there.
I gripped the mantle as I leaned forward, losing the use of my legs. After one long suck, she dropped me from her mouth and I panted against my forearm, watching her look up and grin. She blew on my slit and took me again, in a loose open mouth, letting her tongue do laps around the head. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, she kissed me softly before sucking hard and fast again, and I knew I was going to lose it in her mouth.
I panicked for a moment wondering what I should do. Did I just shoot off and expect her to choose, spit or swallow? I mean, she obviously had done this before and knew the ending, I just didn't want to assume. Did I look for somewhere to catch my load? Problem was, my socks were on the porch and my boxers were now full of sand. There were towels in the...oh fuck what's she doing?
Before I could let my over analytical inner monologue spoil the best blow job of my whole damn life, she teased my ridge with her teeth again and my dick started spasming. She pulled it from her mouth and threw back her head, spraying her tits with my cum. I held her face in my hand as I marked her with my seed, and I panted at the primal-ness of it all. She was mine. Mine. She was covered in me. I was in her skin, and now, I wanted in her body.
She smiled again and winked as she pulled herself to stand. She walked to the kitchen sink to clean up and pointed out the window.
"If it wasn't raining, I'd be all over that," she said.
"It is my goal to get you in there before the week is over." I came up behind her to take her breast in my hand and bite at her neck. Her skin was still cold to the touch. "Fuck Bella, you're freezing."
"Getting warmer by the minute," she said when my hand rolled across her nipples, and my tongue pushed at the space where ear meets jaw.
I let one hand go lower as I worked her breasts and nibbled her neck. I pushed beneath her panties to fondle her and she shuddered in my hand.
"The things you do to me..."
"Did I tell you or did I tell you?"
"You told me," she cried, as I pushed one finger into her and then another.
I moved my wrist against her clit, feeling our veins throbbing against each other. She pulled me in further and I crooked my fingers to reach that place that would pull heaven down for her.
Her hands gripped the counter and she twisted her neck to stroke my tongue to the rhythm of my fingers. I sucked her lip as she came in my hand, and spun her towards the bed with my fingers still inside her. I moved them slowly as she rode the waves.
"Edward, I, uh, oh god..."
I laughed and laid her on the bed sliding my fingers to her clit, taking my time to let another orgasm build. I liked this view, sitting above her and looking at her splayed before me. She was fucking perfect. Beautiful, soft, tight, wet, perky, smiling, and mine. For right now, she was mine.
I kissed her gently and touched her everywhere. When it was time, I entered her slowly and with purpose, watching her face as I filled her. I swung my hips and she closed her eyes, and I was fixated by the arc of lashes against her cheek. I lifted my hand to touch them and lost my balance, falling against her. She wrapped her arms around my back. We moved together in quiet and I breathed against her face. My fingers dug into her hips as she pushed against me and I felt her shake, and come again.
"Open you eyes Bella. I want to see you."
Her eyes fluttered open and I jumped in them as I ground into her. I was as deep in her as I could be, without splitting her open and crawling inside. I could feel her heart against mine as we rocked. I wanted to fuck her without a veil of latex, so that I could feel all of her and leave myself inside. I settled for what I had and released, quaking and crushing her beneath me.
If this was all I could have, this was all I would take. I wouldn't be a greedy fuck and rush to mess this up. Bella had to do what she had to do, and so did I. I wasn't going to fuck up her life by asking for more, no matter how much I wanted it. I would plug into Bella and recharge in this time she gave me.
She rolled over and pulled me against her back to hold her as she fell asleep. I listened to her in the darkness and when she collapsed into a deep sleep, I wrapped a blanket around my waist, and went to the table where my notebook and laptop had sat untouched all week.
Everyone had been on my case about the draft of the third book, feeling like it was lacking something. Masen's quest for purpose had reached a pinnacle in book two, and Jasper kept telling me his relationship with the one woman to ever get under his skin, was inauthentic. I was fucking pissed at him for days, but I got it now. For the first time, I truly understood the character I'd been writing for the last five years.
I knew why Masen was compelled to take her blood, even though he didn't want to kill her; why it tormented him like nothing else had. I knew why he desired to feel her inside him the way he'd been inside her. Because if I could, I'd open Bella's veins and drink her just to feel her blood run through me.
I filled the pages with thoughts before turning on the computer and tapping the keys away until dawn. Just before the sun rose, I snuck to Bella's cabin and grabbed some clothes and her bag of shit from the bathroom. We were down to the wire with just a few days left, and I wanted her with me as much as possible.
A day full of seminars put a damper on that, but I stalked her around the grounds between courses, to steal kisses in forgotten hallways and dark stairwells. I had to pinch myself a few times through the pocket of my pants to focus on my students, but all in all, I survived. Friday night I whisked Bella off for a replay of last year's hot tubbing adventure, while the rest of the goons went to salsa and cha-cha their little hearts out. This time we did all the things we wished we had before, and more. I knew I'd be reliving that night, pumping my shit alone in the year to come.
Saturday morning came too soon. We woke early, emerging from our orgasm-haze for breakfast, and to partake in the mayhem of weekend lectures. My morning lecture had filled up so fast, they asked for another in the afternoon. I'd obliged, and now I wished I hadn't, since it meant less time with her, near her, inside her.
We moved further from each other the closer we got to the lodge. It was done by instinct, and by both of us. Even though we were pretty sure everyone in there knew what we were up to, it still seemed right not to make it obvious.
"If it ain't my brother from another mother. Come here you fucking bastard."
Scratch that. Not everyone in there knew what was going on. Mother fucker. I'd totally forgotten. She'd fucked the brain right out of my head.
"Jasper, man, how are you?" We did the bro hug thing and I saw Bella glance around and fidget out of the corner of my eye. "Hey, this is a friend of mine, Bella. Bella this is Jasper, my agent, my brother-in-law, my number one pain in the ass." I tried not wince as 'friend' rolled from my tongue.
"It's nice to meet you Jasper, I've heard a lot about you."
"Thanks Bella," he said and I didn't miss the curiosity in his eyes. "So are you a writer or a fan?"
"Aspiring writer. Oh and a fan, of course," she added with a laugh.
"Are you taking any of Edward's courses?" he asked.
"Not this year," she answered. I could tell he was making her nervous and I think the fucker was doing it on purpose.
"Oh. I see."
What the fuck was he up to? It wasn't like he was being rude but he wasn't exactly friendly either.
"Jaz, I've got a couple hours before my first lecture. Want to blow this popsicle stand and head to town for some eats?" I knew that this place had the best food in a hundred miles, but I couldn't take the chance Jasper would catch on to Garrett and Benny's ribbings. Or Zafrina's pointed stares.
"Sure thing. I just gave a porter my shit. Let's go. Are you joining us Bella?"
"What?" she asked, like it was the most preposterous thing she'd ever heard. Score one for Bella's acting skills. "No, thank you. My first lecture is in less than an hour. Maybe I'll see you guys around later."
I took Jasper around back and we climbed in my car to set off for town. Bella and I had been so holed up in my cabin that I missed driving her. I headed to an ocean front cafe and we snagged a table out front. Jasper let me down a cup of coffee before he started in.
"So. Who's Bella?"
"What do you mean, who's Bella? You just met her. She's a friend from the conference."
"She's been here before?"
"Yeah, last year she was in my voice class."
"And she's from Forks."
"How the fuck did you know that?"
"Alice."
"And how does Alice even know about Bella? She fucking psychic or something?"
"Your mom. Your mom called Alice after your dad said he got quite the panicked phone call from you. They wanted to know who the fuck Bella was, and we hadn't a clue." He sat back in his chair and stirred his coffee cocking his eyebrow at me.
"She's a friend. Like I said." I shrugged noncommittally. "When her kid got hurt I knew Dad would be at the hospital. Figured I could help ease her worry."
"So she just happens to be from Forks?"
"What are you getting at?"
"It's too convenient, Edward. I know you have like, no awareness of how big you're getting, but I field the fucking phone calls and emails all day. And then this chick shows up, following you to conferences, getting your family involved..."
"Bella's not a stalker, Jaz." I couldn't help but laugh. "She'd never even read my shit when I met her. She is a writer. A fucking good one. If I were you, I'd stop being suspicious and start kissing her ass in hopes that she solicits you to represent her."
Jasper's eyes narrowed in a way that was more concerned, and less pissed off. "You're sticking your dick in her, aren't you?"
"Don't you ever fucking say that again or I swear to God, I'll pulp your face."
"I'm not fucking Emmett, shut your mouth. And you are. It's written all over your face. You're fucking her."
"I can say, with the sincerest honesty, that I am not 'fucking' her."
Jasper studied me and tapped his fork on the table. I fumed for his benefit, like I was offended at the thought, and panicked inside. I should have known better than to think I could hide anything from him.
"You're doing something alright. I hope you know what it is."
I didn't answer and stared at the ocean, like I hadn't heard him.
"I got that new stuff you sent me. We're finally on the right track. I'm thinking number three is going to be the best one yet. That shit with Masen and his girl was fucking intense."
I scoffed and nodded unable to pull my eyes from the deep blue of the sea. I knew he'd go ape shit for that revision. I sighed and took a gulp of coffee.
"So maybe I do know what I'm doing."
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love for a roll in the sand with Edward~~
In the middle of writing this chapter I had the honor of seeing Blue October's acoustic show where they performed this song. I'd always loved it but as soon as I heard him sing the rest of this chapter came to me. I love inspiration. Makes me tingly. Go listen to the link on my profile, it's worth it!
I know I alluded to some hot hot tub sexin' and I fully expect to be flamed for leaving out the details, but hey that's what outtakes are for, right? ;)
