TUiB:17- Times Like These

The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.


It's times like these I'm thankful for my girls for keeping me sane and keeping me writing. I shouldn't be surprise that y'all got me close to 400 reviews last chapter, but I am. Oh the power of Edward and dry humping ;) Thank you all for the reads and reviews. It means the world to me. This is the first time I've let anyone read something I've written since college. All y'all have made it a painless experience.

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In times like these
In times like those
What will be will be
And so it goes
And it always goes on and on...
On and on it goes

~~Times Like These, Jack Johnson

~~~~~~~

~~BPOV~~
The fork clanged against the plate as it dropped from my hand. The woman's mouth kept moving but I couldn't hear anything but the sound of blood rushing to my ears. Renee would never call except for a true emergency. I stood on shaky legs and looked for Edward, he was already coming around the table to take my arm.

We followed her to the front desk and I gasped as I picked up the phone hearing the police siren from the ear piece.

"Mom?"

"Bella! I'm so sorry, I don't want to frighten you-"

"What's going on?" I interrupted.

"Sarah fell and hit her head. There's a lot of blood. We're on our way to the hospital and I can't find the in case of emergency authorization you left for me."

Goosebumps raced across my skin as bile rose in my throat. My eyes spilled over as I rushed to speak.

"She hit her head? Is she okay? Where is she now? Wait, why do you need the authorization, where's Jake?"

"I think so but I don't know, we couldn't see the cut through the blood. She's here with me, we're in Charlie's cruiser. Jake's on that camping trip that's why I need that form. What do I do?"

"What camping...? Never mind. Dad's with you? I'll call the hospital right now." I covered my eyes with my hand and willed myself not to throw up.

Edward's hand flew over the desk reaching for the other phone. He dialed quickly and waited.
"Is Dr. Cullen on staff tonight? Yes? I need to speak with him right away, this is his son."

"Mom, I've got someone getting the hospital on the phone. I'll give them any authorization they need."

"Okay, we're almost there. I'm going to hang up. I'll call you as soon I as I know something."

"Oh God. Okay."

"It'll be okay Bella, please don't worry."

"Dad, it's Edward. Yeah. No. Listen, I'm here with a friend whose daughter is on her way to the ER with her mother. Yes, I'll put her on." He handed me the phone as I hung up with Renee.

"Hello? Dr. Cullen? This is Isabella Black."

"Yes Ms. Black, how can I help you?"

"My mother and father are coming in with my daughter Sarah. She's hit her head and my mom misplaced the medical authorization form I left her."

"Oh no problem, Ms. Black. Chief Swan is with her as well? What is your mother's name? I'll write it down now. And you're giving her full permission to make all medical decisions on behalf of your daughter?"

"Renee Dwyer and yes, sir."

"Is your mother aware of her medical history? Any known allergies?"

"She should know everything. Or Charlie will. No allergies, that we know. When will I hear if she's okay?"

"I'll keep you updated personally. Try not to worry, go ahead and give me a number to reach you."

I repeated the phone number to the front desk and he disconnected the line. My hands shook as I handed the receiver back.

"Is she okay?" Edward asked.

"I don't know. I don't know anything. All Renee said is that she hit her head and there was a lot of blood. She said they couldn't see the cut. My dad was driving them to the hospital that's why there was sirens."

He opened up his arm and I mashed my face into his chest wetting his shirt with my tears.

"I can't believe I'm not there. She must be so scared. I can't believe I'm not there."

"Bella?" Zafrina softly called my name and touched my back.

"Take her," Edward said, rolling me to her gently and reaching over the counter again.

"Shh, Bella, she's going to be okay. Kids hurt themselves everyday, whether we're there or not." She led me over to the seating area across the room.

"But I'm always there, Z. I've never missed one scraped knee or hangnail or sunburn."

"I know, I know. You're not always going to be able to be there, hon. I'm sorry the first time is so far away from home though."

"I broke my arm on a boy scout camping trip when I was eight," Garrett said and sat on the arm of the couch. The rest of the dinner table trickled in behind him. "It was also the first time I spent a night away from home. My mom didn't want to let me out of her sight for the next ten years."

"When I was twelve I jumped off my neighbors roof when my parents were on vacation and my aunt and uncle were watching me. I got a huge bloody nose but no permanent damage. Well, besides the ass kicking I got when my dad found out." Benny laughed and reached out to rub my arm.

"I had a grand mal seizure when I was a baby. The first time my parents went to dinner alone after having me. I spiked a temp in my sleep and I went into convulsions and was raced to the hospital in an ambulance. The way my mom tells it, you'd think I did it on purpose." Kate chimed in.

"I went on a cruise after my divorce and my son got mono. I was out in the middle of the ocean and didn't even know about it until I got home. Couldn't have done a thing even if I wanted to," Zafrina said. "So you see Bella, it happens to everyone."

"Yes, hello Mandy. I need to know, when is your next flight out to Seattle from San Jose? Nothing earlier? No, I understand. Can I book through to Port Angeles from there? Okay. And that gets in when? Fuck. Nothing earlier?"

The gang circled around me attempting comfort with war stories and battle wounds but all I could hear was Edward negotiating my return to Forks. A few moments later he hung up and walked towards us.

"I'm sorry, Bluebell. I can't get you out of here until the morning. Nothing flies in or out of San Jose this late. The first flight is at 7:15 and you're on it. But you won't get in to Port Angeles until nearly noon. It's the best I could do." He crouched down at me feet and squeezed my knee.

I sucked in a breath and nodded to him as a fresh set of tears pricked my eyes.

"Guys, why don't we give them some space and get them some coffee?" Zafrina said eyeing Edward and I.

"Oh sure," Garrett said leaping off the couch. "If there's anything you need, you'll let us know right?"

Edward thanked them as Zafrina grabbed an employee and asked for a coffee tray. She bent in to hug me again and disappeared back into the party that was carrying on oblivious to my world crashing down. Edward rose from my feet to sit and wrap his arm around my shoulders. The coffee was set on the table in front of us but neither of us moved to it.

"God, I can't stand not knowing anything. I don't even know where on her head she hit or how. I just realized, I don't even know if she's conscious. I didn't hear her crying." The panic cried out in my voice.

"Well, you said your Dad drove her in right? If she knocked herself unconscious would he move her or would he call for an ambulance?"

"He's radio the ambulance," I answered while I clasped and unclasped my hands over and over.
"Right. So we can deduce she was awake. And you didn't hear her crying meaning she isn't hysterical or in massive amounts of pain."

"She could be in shock."

"True, but that's not a bad thing. It would be her body's response to pain. She'd have all sorts of endorphins pumping keeping her okay. And you know she's already at the hospital so she's in good hands. My father will treat your baby as if she was his own."

I sighed and wiggled down in the couch so my head could rest against the back of it. "Thank you for calling him. And booking a flight, and talking me down. You're good in a crisis."

I expected him to laugh but he frowned instead.

"I've had some practice." He rubbed his eyes and smiled upside down again.

"Why?"

"I don't want to get into that now, Bluebell. Let's focus on you."

"I'd rather not. I'd prefer something, anything, to get my mind off the images flashing of my daughter covered in blood crying for her mommy who is a thousand miles away." I pressed my fingertips into my eyes as I whined.

"Alright I get it. Are you sure you're up for a story? It's a long one."

"Yeah, I am," I said softly. Something in his voice made me forget my worry and find concern for him.

"So I told you how I knew Rose in high school? She was dating Emmett back then and for the most part we hated each other. We were really competitive. She was in all my AP classes and we were constantly volleying for the higher grade. When she and Emmett started dating I was pissed. At first, I thought he did it to piss me off and then they got in a fight that found me the opportunity to get back at him. I remember thinking it was strange that she was so willing. At the time I just thought she was pissed a him. But I realized later it was so much more than that. Like she was giving him the ultimate reason to break up with her, like she thought she deserved it. He, of course, found out and dumped her in front of an entire quad of classmates after going a few rounds with me on the grass. Then the next Saturday most of my class was off on this huge overnight trip for a Shakespeare festival and I was suspended for he fight so I didn't go."

He paused and I chewed my lip afraid where this was going. His hand raked through his hair combing out the carefully applied gel and leaving it a little wild for once.

"It was about eleven or so at night and I went to the showers. I remember hearing the strangest whimper as I passed the girls' room but it didn't really register because like I said I was pretty much alone. I though everyone in my dorm was gone. When I came out after the shower I heard a thud and got that feeling. You know the one where you just know something is wrong? I went in and found Rose with cuts all along her thighs and arms. Some were dried and mostly superficial but she'd nicked a vein on her leg that was bleeding pretty bad. The thump I heard was her head hitting the ground as she passed out."

"Oh my God, Edward. Was she trying to kill herself?"

"In the moment, I thought she was. Luckily my dad had given us all ample amounts of first aid training. I think I've been CPR certified since I was ten. I took my towel and got the bleeding to stop and was able to revive her before calling 911. She begged me not to and I didn't realize she still had the blade in her hand. She threatened to cut again and I convinced her to give it to me and let the paramedics come. They took her away in a blaze of lights and it was the last time I saw her for, fuck, nearly eight years years."

"Why? What happened to her?"

"I didn't know everything until later. Her parents pulled her out of school and she spent a year in a psych hospital. Turns out she was a cutter. What I'd seen that night was not the only time she'd done it, just the only time she'd gone too far. She wasn't trying to kill herself but she was hurting herself on purpose. I would have never thought. Rose was one of those girls who just had it all. She was gorgeous, popular, smart. I couldn't wrap my head around why she'd do that until..."

"What?"

"Until we met up again after college and started dating. I learned why Rose was so damaged."

Our heads snapped up at the sound of the telephone and I watched as the desk lady answered it in a hurry and nodded to me. I jumped off the couch and ran to the desk.

"Hello? Dr. Cullen?" I said, trying to catch my breath.

"No, Bella, it's me. We're still here but she's fine. She's absolutely fine. She nicked the back of her head but she didn't even have to get stitches they just filled it with this purple medical super glue stuff."

"What? Who put glue in her head?"

"Dr. Cullen. He's amazing. Such bedside manner, Sarah adored him. We all did," she said with a laugh.

I gritted my teeth, why the hell couldn't she focus for once? "Mom, are you sure she's okay-"

"I'm positive Bella," she said as the phone next to me rang. They answered it and handed it to Edward. "She's fine you wouldn't even know anything is wrong. They gave her Motrin for pain 'cause she probably has a headache but that's it. It really is no big deal. I shouldn't have called you until after because I knew you'd freak but I didn't know what to do without that form. Should have known that in a town this size I wouldn't need it. Everyone knew she was Charlie's."

"Mom, hold on. Edward's got Dr. Cullen on the line I want to talk to him."

"Yeah, speaking of, who is Edward? Dr. Cullen said-"

I set the phone down on the counter and reached out for the one Edward was holding. "Hello? Dr. Cullen?"

"Hello, Bella is it? Edward told me you were just speaking with your mother. So you know that Sarah is absolutely fine?"

"Is she? I can't trust Renee, she could be downplaying to absolve her own guilt."

"I can hear you!" Renee's voice called from the counter. Edward picked it up and covered the ear and mouth pieces with his hands.

"She is fine. She had a superficial wound to the back of the head at the rear base of the skull. It did not require sutures and we were able to use Dermabond to seal it. She shows no signs of a concussion and I'm not surprised seeing as she struck at a fairly sturdy place. She entertained the entire ER singing Disney tunes and is now happily sucking on a popsicle."

"That sounds like her. But what about blood loss? Renee said there was a lot of blood."

"Head wounds always seem to produce a lot of blood but there was not a significant loss. Her vitals are completely normal. She's being sent home with Motrin and a sticker."

I finally exhaled in relief. "Thank you so much, Dr. Cullen. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this with me being so far from home and all."

"About that, Edward told me you're booked for a return flight tomorrow. Of course you and your family can decide but there is no medical reason for you to rush home. This was nothing more than a cut that needed a step above a band-aid."

"Thank you again, I'll consider that." Edward and I traded phones and I brought Renee back to my ear.

"Mom?"

"Did he tell you? That she's fine? I'm so sorry, honey."

"Yes, he said she's alright. What happened anyways?"

"We were watching T.V. and the girls had gone to bed hours ago. We heard a noise and then a cry and ran to her room. It looked like she'd opened the drawers on her dresser to climb up and fell back on the edge of her footboard."

"Um, 'we'? Dad was there?"

"Yeah, we took the girls to the beach and he hung out after. I am glad he was. I would have freaked out without him. He's great in a crisis."

I glanced to Edward talking quietly to his dad. "Probably a good thing since he's a cop and all. So Mom, I've got a flight in the morning that will get me home by noon."

"No! Absolutely not, Bella. I won't have it, she's fine! This really was no big deal. If I hadn't of called you she'd been healed by the time you were home Sunday and you'd never even have known."

"Knowing you, you probably wouldn't have called."

"That's because this isn't my first rodeo, kid. I know how much kids can survive. You forget how many times you had me in an ER."

"Can I talk to her?"

"Of course, hold on."

"Mommy?"

"Hi Sarah! How are you? You gave Mommy quite a scare."

"I have a popsicle. It's orange, I wanted a grape one but they didn't have it. It's later than bedtime, Mommy."

"Yes I know, sweetie. Tell me how your head is."

"It's okay. Dr. Colin put the magic fairy dust in it so it stopped hurting. I won't climb up on my dresser again, Mommy, you tell Grandma don't put my pink dolly up there and I won't have to go up and get her."

"Okay, I'll tell her. Hey, what do you think about Mommy coming home?"

"You're silly Mommy. You're in Calnifonia, it's far away. I'm going to the dollyhouse place with Grandma and Grandpa tomorrow, you can't come it's only for little girls and you're big. Okay, I love you, bye-bye." Sarah rushed off the phone with her standard goodbye.

"I told you she was fine. She's been looking forward to the dollhouse museum since I told her about it yesterday. Were going to take the ferry, they're both ecstatic. So, see? We don't have time to pick you up at the airport. We'll see you on Sunday. Okay? Love you, bye!" She hung up quickly.

I stared at the phone in shock. My legs felt like I'd just gotten off a roller coaster with five loop de loops all done at two hundred miles per hour and backwards. Anxiety and relief were still mingling in my blood.

"She's okay?"

"She's okay," I said with a shrug. "I might need medical attention now that I've suffered what's sure to be a stroke, but she's okay."

"Thank God. I was so worried." He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me in.

"You?" I said with a laugh. "She's not even your kid. Hold up. What the fuck? Where the hell is Jake?"

"I was going to ask but I didn't want to give you something else to worry about."

"Renee said he was 'on that camping trip' like I was supposed to have known about it."

"But you don't?"

"Uh, no. It's Tuesday, he's employed. Why would he be off camping in the middle of the week?" I fumed for a minute and drummed my fingernails on the counter. "I mean, he can go camping, why do I care? But why didn't he tell me? Can I use the phone one more time?"

She handed me the phone again and I dialed Jake's cell phone. It went directly to voicemail.

"Jake? It's me. Um, I'm not sure where you are. Renee said you were camping. Sarah was rushed to the emergency room tonight. She's okay but I thought you should know. Where are you?" I gave the phone back to the desk clerk and shook my head at nothing in particular. "I feel like I need to go cliff diving or something to shake off this adrenaline rush."

"Well, I was going to suggest you go get some rest but it doesn't sound like you're tired."
"I could run a marathon right now."

"You need to take it easy, you're going to come crashing down soon. Let me walk you back to your room."

"Okay. I just want to be somewhere quiet. I'm on sensory overload. No, shit. I forgot. Z asked earlier if I minded if she hosted a 'mellow' after party at our cabin tonight. Translation, all the grown ups are going to come over and getting high."

"Bella we are grown ups," Edward laughed.

"Uh-uh. I've decided being a grown up sucks. I'm declaring myself a kid." I stuck out my chin in defiance and crossed my arms. He grinned.

"I'm sure she'll call it off given the circumstances."

"I don't want her to do that. Everything is fine, she shouldn't have to cancel because I'm all fired up like a monkey on Pez. I want a drink."

"You leave me no choice. Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Let me pop in and tell the gang everything is okay. Wait here."

I watched as Edward strode to the dining room and tried to make sense of at least one of the emotions running through me. In the last few hours I'd felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I had to keep repeating to myself that Sarah was fine because every few seconds I'd forget and a fresh wave of nausea would grip me. And although I wanted nothing more than to be home with my babies, I was grateful I wasn't leaving yet. I was also pissed off at Jake for pulling a fast one but at the same time, thankful he gave me yet another vindication.

"Ready?" Edward said as he returned.

"All set, let's blow this joint."

"Speaking of, you were right, by the way. Zafrina's got that covered. She's rounding up the resident stoners as we speak."

He held his arm out to me and I linked it, my skirt swishing as we walked. I wished I was in something other than this luau get up. The air was a warm surprise as we crossed the property. I thought he might take me down to the beach or to re-visit the hot tub that was surely abandoned, but as we made our way towards the cabins I realized where we were going.
I said nothing as we passed my cabin, heading up the hill to the tiny one perched alone in the back. He'd left the lights on and the little structure glowed from within. The front porch had a swing built for two and square fluffy pillows. The window boxes spilled with trailing flowers and ivy. There was moss on the roof and mold on the shutters but it was beautiful. I paused to take it all in and Edward misunderstood, taking my adoration as hesitation.

"I'm sorry. Does this make you uncomfortable? We can go-"

"Edward, I trust you. As corny as it sounds, I stopped because I wanted to take a mental picture."

"Want to know something cornier? I've taken actual pictures," he said, leading me by the hand to the porch. "I love this frilly little doll house. In all the places I've been, in all the places I've lived, somehow, she feels like home."

I climbed the narrow steps of the porch and glanced around again. My eyes fell on the hand painted sign just above the door. The cabin name.

"Welcome to the Bluebell, Bluebell," Edward said, holding open the door and inviting me in.

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~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love to spend an evening at the Bluebell~~

Chapter 17 Teaser

:)

“I went on a cruise after my divorce and my son got mono. I was out in the middle of the ocean and didn’t even know about it until I got home. Couldn’t have done a thing even if I wanted to,” Zafrina said. “So you see Bella, it happens to everyone.”

“Yes, hello Mandy. I need to know, when is your next flight out to Seattle from San Jose? Nothing earlier? No, I understand. Can I book through to Port Angeles from there? Okay. And that gets in when? Fuck. Nothing earlier?”

The gang circled around me attempting comfort with war stories and battle wounds but all I could hear was Edward negotiating my return to Forks. A few moments later he hung up and walked towards us.

“I’m sorry, Bluebell. I can’t get you out of here until the morning. Nothing flies in or out of San Jose this late. The first flight is at 7:15 and you’re on it. But you won’t get in to Port Angeles until nearly noon. It’s the best I could do.” He crouched down at me feet and squeezed my knee.

I sucked in a breath and nodded to him as a fresh set of tears pricked my eyes.

TUiB:16- Come On Get Higher

The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.


Flowers, chocolates, and beers to DrunkNessie (the beta formerly known as KatieTV) Sugartits and Bluebell (;) kstewfangirl). Thank you to SYTYCW for putting my story up on their blog under Undiscovered Gems and to wandb for rec'ing me on weekly pwns on the fictionators blog. Thank you, thank you!

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Come on get higher
Loosen my lips
Faith and desire
In the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

~~Come On Get Higher, Matt Nathanson

~~~~~~~

~~BPOV~~


"Oh shit. Edward, oh God. Stop, we need to go..." I mumbled into his mouth.


"You really want me to stop?" he whispered back, running his fingertips up and down my sides.


"You have to," I said with a shiver. "We're supposed to be at the main house."


"Stupid theme nights." He scowled before leaning back in for another kiss.


We'd left the park after a late afternoon heat wave struck and the grass crowded with families. He walked me to my cabin and when we discovered it empty, followed me inside. No sooner had I shut the door to my room did he have me up against it and his tongue back in my mouth. An hour later, I cracked open an eye and saw the time on the alarm clock near the bed. I hadn't made out like this since high school and I'd forgotten what I was missing.


His hands were on the bones of my hips, his thumbs currently tracing their lines as my knees knocked together. He left my mouth again for a moment to chuckle against my neck as I moaned and then took my ear into his mouth biting it gently. I squirmed against him and felt his hardness through his jeans and my skirt. I brushed past it again and it moved, pushing forward trying to free itself. I loved having this effect on him. I lifted my leg slightly running my knee against the inside of his thigh.


"Fuck, Bluebell. God you taste just like I thought you would." He brought his mouth back to mine and ran his tongue across my lips. "You're right. We need to stop." He put his hands on each side of my head and pushed off the door.


"We are so late. It'll just take me a minute to change. Do you want to come back for me or meet me there?"


"Meet you there. I have a feeling if I come back for you, we won't leave."


"No we won't, especially not after you see my get up."


"Bella," he groaned, "don't tell me I'm going to be beating them off with a stick all night."
I smiled and gave him a wink and he groaned again. "Now scoot, I need to change and so do you."


Rather than opening the door behind me, he waltzed over to the patio door on the other side of the bed and looked back at me with a grin.


"Where are you going?"


"My cabin, it's just over there," he said, pointing through the glass.


I walked over and looked out past his finger. A small meadow separated my back door from his front. "That's you? Why didn't you tell me before?"


"What? And risk you sneaking over in the middle of the night? I shouldn't have told you now."


I smirked and swatted his arm. "Me? How I can trust that you won't be opening this door tonight? I better lock it."


He put his lips to my cheek and whispered in my ear, "there are not enough locks in the world to keep me out."

~~~~~~~

"Bella! Aloha Wahine!" Garrett took off his sunglasses and shook his coconut bra at me. He stood beneath a cardboard palm tree with a monkey climbing it's trunk. I wasn't aware Hawaii had a monkey population but whatever.


"What are you wearing? And how do you know Hawaiian?" I took in his floral sarong, Puka shell anklet and flowered flip-flops.


"You don't like my co-co-nuts?" He reached up to grab them in mock surprise. "I spent eight years on Oahu when I was a kid, my dad was stationed there."


"No way, you're a military brat? What does he think of the ponytail? Never mind the bikini."


"He makes me use the side door," he said with a laugh, wrapping his arm around Kate. She was in a matching coconut top and short sarong tucked under her round belly. Rather than be bare the swollen skin was painted as an ocean sunset.


"You look adorable, Bella," she said.


I glanced down at the long grass skirt and knotted Hawaiian shirt. I'd put a fake anklet lei around my right ankle and hibiscus behind my ear. My bikini top was under my shirt but there was no way I was prancing around half naked despite the fact that everyone else was.


"Thank you, so do you! Look at your beautiful belly!"


"Garrett did it. Isn't it gorgeous?"


"It is. How are you feeling?"


"Surprisingly, pretty great. I can't believe he'll be here next month. We are so excited." She glanced up to Garrett and they beamed at each other. "I am getting a little scared for the delivery. I keep telling myself that women do it everyday."


"They do. And it's not the worst form of torture ever because you know there's an end to it and the best reward ever. Don't try and be all brave about it either. With my first one I was thinking 'women in the world squat babies out in fields and go right on working I don't need any stinking drugs.' Ha. I made it eight hours and gave up on it. Then I was just fine. I didn't mess around the second time, got the drugs before they'd even slapped the bracelet on me."


"I'm doing a home birth with a midwife so no epidural for me!"


"Oops. Well then, it was a piece of cake. You won't feel a thing. Just breathe and chant and all that."


Kate smiled a naive my-birth-will-be-different smile. "Tell me something, how is it being a mom?"


"You want the answer I'm supposed to give because you're all glowy and imagining a cherubic angel, or the truth?"


She laughed. "The truth, of course."


"The truth? It's the most amazing thing in the world. You're going to love it."


She glowed again and leaned against Garrett's chest. He winked at me and reached down to rub her stomach. Benny and the ridiculously pretty boy he'd been hanging out with walked over and handed me a fruity drink.


"Oh, no thank you. Sorry, I drank enough for the whole trip last night."


"Mija, you were hysterical. And then, poof, you disappeared. Where were you off to?"


"Just turned in early before I could make too much of an ass of myself." My fingers rant through my hair and I hoped I sounded believable.


"Not possible," Garrett said, "you were on fire!"


"She is smokin', isn't she?" his voice said from behind.


I felt his hand on my back as he reached around to take the drink I'd just refused. His touch left me as he stepped forward to introduce himself to Benny's friend.


"Hello, I don't think we've met. I'm Edward."


"Caius Historical Fiction, nice to meet you. I'm actually a big fan."


Edward smiled at him but I saw his back tense. "Really? That's great, thank you. Garrett, I ran across one of your poems in a magazine when I was traveling over Christmas. Well done, my friend."


"Thank you, thank you. Kate's actually got a book coming out this fall about our travels last year. I'm so proud of her."


We all turned to a blushing Kate. "Well, when I was doing research on our next trip up north I found an amazing short story about Native American legends written by our own Bella Swan."
My turn to redden. I glanced up and saw Edward looking at me in shock. I hadn't told him yet about the small local publication that printed my story.


"I bought Benny's last book for my kids and they loved it. Sarah can't believe I know the guy who wrote it. You'd think I told her I knew Mickey Mouse."


"That's nice to know your daughters have taste. I wish everyone else felt that way." Benny grimaced as everyone laughed.


"It's not an easy market, mi amigo, I've said that for years. So saturated." Garrett clapped him on the back.


"Yeah, yeah. I know. But it's what I love. Who writes to be rich anyways? Edward withstanding of course."


Edward rolled his eyes at their laughter and sucked down his drink. "Benny, I told you ages ago that screenplay you wrote was off the chart. Get your ass to L.A. and sell that mother fucker."
"Maybe I will," Benny mused," but I want to hear more about Bella's story. Why didn't you tell us?"


I shrugged and wished I had a drink to fiddle with. "Oh I don't know, didn't seem like that big of a deal."


"Was it your first time in print?" Garrett asked.


"Yeah."


"Big deal then," Caius said. "The first time I made it to print, I framed that sucker and hung it on my wall. And my mom's wall, and my grandma's and my dry cleaner's..."


"You guys have to read it, it was beautiful," Kate gushed. "Your imagery was incredible. I was so moved by the wolf fable."


"Was it the rest of the piece from last year?" Edward asked quietly.


I nodded as our eyes locked. I felt the heat from his gaze and my stomach turned over. I couldn't concentrate while I thought of all the places his mouth had been not half an hour ago. I felt the buzz of him against my skin and between my legs.


"Then I can't wait to read it. Kate is right, it was breathtaking." He was still focused on my face though the conversation had moved on.


"It was your class that gave me the courage to submit it."


"You did not need my tutelage, your voice was decipherable from the start." He stepped to me and removed the flower from my ear. "This goes on your left ear. When it's worn on the right it means the girl is looking for love. The left is closer to the heart and shows she's taken." He tucked it behind the correct ear and ran a single finger tip down my cheek.


I struggled to swallow and was relieved when Aro approached. Taking the opportunity to go unnoticed, I slipped out one of the back doors to find some air that wasn't saturated with his scent.



On the patio I could see the place where he waited for me yesterday, the spot where I thought I might kiss him and then backed out. I had imagined kissing him a thousand times this past year, wondering if when I had the chance, I'd really do it. Now that I had, I couldn't imagine stopping.
The memories and the unseasonably warm temps outside were having the opposite effect and I felt hotter than I had before. I reached for the door handle and realized it had locked behind me. I did not want to embarrass myself by knocking on the door and I doubted they'd hear me over the music anyways. Glancing to my right, I saw a long hallway of hotel room doors that I knew would take me to a doorway to the main living room. I set off down the dark walkway wishing again that I had a drink. Edward had sucked me dry.


A mechanical humming buzzed ahead where I found a nook for an ice machine. I opened the front and stuck my hand in for a piece. It melted instantly and I reached again for more as a hand slid up by back and circled around my neck.


"Interesting place to sneak off to, Bluebell. I'm fairly certain they had ice inside."


I smiled at the machine. "Are you following me?"


"So what if I am?" He let go of my neck to brush my hair to the side and place a kiss in the middle. Despite the freezing cold air blast on my front, I was molten.


I popped the ice in my mouth savoring the coolness against my tongue and Edward's left arm slid around my waist pulling me into him. His right hand produced a chunk of ice and slid it up my arm, over my shirt, around my front and across my lips. I licked and sucked it from his fingertips before he pushed it in and pulled it out again, taking it from me. The ice traveled down my neck to the hollow between my breasts where it evaporated at once.


He spread the droplets across my flushed skin and teased the edge of bikini top with his fingertips. He pushed me forward slightly until I was resting my cheek against the machine feeling the cool breeze on my bare stomach. His lips were in my hair and at my ear.


"Is this that same blue suit? The one I've seen in a tangle on the floor in my dreams?"


I could do nothing but whimper "yes" as he traced the strings of my top.


"Didn't we find ourselves in this same position last year but my mouth was no where this close to yours nor were my hands inside your shirt although they both longed to be."


My nipples and clit hardened in unison. He spun me around so that we were face to face and slid his arm up by back to hold my neck again. He waited a moment before dropping his mouth to mine and taking in my bottom lip. He sucked and sank his teeth in a little before his fingers grazed my pointed nipples and I pushed forward crashing into his teeth.


The coldness of my tongue was gone in his mouth as our tongues moved together, pushing and pulling. He let his hand take my breast fully in his palm and his thumb continued to make brushing strokes across my arousal.


"I can only imagine how this would feel on your skin."


We moaned together as I brought my leg up to hitch on his hip and bring him in closer. The grass skirt parted as he pressed into me. He was riding loose in his board shorts and his interest was apparent beneath the flimsy material of his suit and mine. I swayed my hips with the distant music and he rolled across me.


"Bella, Bella, Bella. What did I say the last time you moved like this?"


"When I danced in the bar? You said that I had no idea the things you could to me."


"That's right," he said between nibbles at my neck. "You still don't."


"I think I have a pretty good idea."


"Do you now? Did you think about me, Bluebell? While we were apart? When you were alone?"



His mouth traveled lower to visit each bone of my chest cavity.


"Let's just say, you were a cure for many headaches." I can not believe I just said that.


I felt his smile against my skin.


"You cured a lot of things too. I thought of you many times thinking of me...touching yourself."


Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I knew he felt the dampness, he had to.


"Edward..." I moaned.


"Do you want to know what I imagined, Bella? How I pictured you?"


"Yes," I breathed. His tongue edged my suit and I felt it skim my skin.


"I pictured you on the beach that night with your hand up your dress, cussing me out for wanting me so bad."


I would have been mortified if I wasn't so turned on. "You were there? You saw me?" I squeaked out.


"Yes. That is my confession. I didn't think I would ever admit that to you but I want you to know how hot it was. I've thought about it every day since."


"I thought about you too. Everyday, whether I was alone or not, that is my confession. I don't think I've ever had so many orgasms in my life."


He laughed and lifted his head from my chest where he'd done nothing but taunt me. He squeezed my neck to pull me in and softly kissed my lips.


"More than anything else, Bluebell, I missed the sound of your voice."


I parted my lips to open myself to him and the machine shook beneath us shooting ice at my back. We rocked against it as the kiss deepened and we pulsed each others centers.

~~~~~~~

"There you are, pup! Come on, they're doing best costume by loudest clap. Yell for me! Where's Cullen? He can finger whistle like nobody's business." Garrett looked around me to see Edward coming in the main door.


He sent me in first to trail behind by a few minutes and I headed straight to the bathroom to comb my hair and remove the shmears of lipstick from my cheeks and chin. Despite all efforts, my mouth maintained that kissing-is-better-than-collagen look and the glow of my cheeks shouted that I was just dry humped by Edward Cullen against an ice machine.


"Front and center you little tart," Garrett said, playfully smacking my grass covered butt. "Jesus Bella! Where have you been? Your ass is frozen solid."


"I guess it got colder outside," I said. I could hear Edward's chuckle from three feet away.
The announcers went through each contestant and since no one was overly creative, first prize went to Garrett and his coconuts. He brought his bottle of similarly flavored rum back to the table we'd commandeered for desert.


"You going to bust that open?" Benito asked.


"Hell no. I'm going to drink this from my girl's coconuts later."


The newlyweds leaned in and kissed. I felt Edward's eyes on my own coconuts and remembered his hands there. I shoveled the pineapple upside down cake in my mouth and wiggled under his smoldering eye touch. I wondered how much longer we had to stay here. As though he read my mind, Edward glanced to his watch and at the door. The lady from the front desk was walking towards us.


"I'm sorry to interrupt. Ms. Swan?" she said, bending towards me. "You have an emergency call at the front desk, it's your mother."

~~~~~~~

Translations:


Aloha- hello or goodbye, in this case, hello
Wahine- woman (pronounced wah-hee-nee)
Mija- slang literally meaning my daughter (mi hija) but commonly used like "girl" or "sweetie" and the like


*Peeps out of hiding* Don't kill me for the cliffie, okay? I promise I'll be back soon with the next installment. In the meantime head over to the Twilighted Forums to discuss ways in which you'd like to kill me on the TUiB thread. ;)


~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love to have Edward and and a piece of ice all to yourself.~~

Chapter 16 Teaser

:)

I nodded as our eyes locked. I felt the heat from his gaze and my stomach turned over. I couldn’t concentrate while I thought of all the places his mouth had been not half an hour ago. I felt the buzz of him against my skin and between my legs.

“Then I can’t wait to read it. Kate is right, it was breathtaking.” He was still focused on my face though the conversation had moved on.

“It was your class that gave me the courage to submit it.”

“You did not need my tutelage, your voice was decipherable from the start.” He stepped to me and removed the flower from my ear. “This goes on your left ear. When it’s worn on the right it means the girl is looking for love. The left is closer to the heart and shows she’s taken.” He tucked it behind the correct ear and ran a single finger tip down my cheek.

TUiB:15- Right or Wrong

The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.

KatieTv, Sugartits, kstewfangirl, I don't want to live in a world where you don't exist. Thank you for the fan girling and the laughs. To my readers, reviewers, and rec'ers I just posted last chapter that I'd passed 200 reviews and now y'all have me close to 300. If I pass that this chapter I may die of happiness. Love and thanks to all y'all.

~~~~~~~

I don't know just why
I can't get you off my mind
No matter how I try
Right or wrong

~~Right or Wrong, Emmett Miller and the Georgia Crackers

~~~~~~~

~~BPOV~~

Sunlight burned through my eyelids and I opened my mouth to groan. I ran my tongue along the roof trying to scrape away the essence of dirty sock that was hanging on. Reaching for the glass of water I always put on the nightstand, I struggled to sit up on my elbows. Everything hurt and there was no glass of water. Come to think of it, I didn't remember coming to bed last night.

I cracked open my eyes and glanced around the room. I pulled back the covers and stepped to the floor. My feet felt like I'd walked on glass all night. I ignored the prickles climbing my calves and went to the bathroom to unwrap a plastic cup and drink away the sock. I filled and drank and filled again. I turned to go back to bed and saw two folded up towels on the edge of the tub. One of them was covered in black streaks.

Oh my god.

Oh.

My.

God.

Pieces of last night assaulted my memory and I half-ran/half-crawled to the bed to bury my head beneath the blankets. Please, please tell me I did not get drunk and come onto Edward. That I did not bring him back here, fall over the furniture before puking, and let him wash my feet as I laid face down and nearly passed out on the bed. Kill me now. I whined into the sheets as a knock came on the door.

"Bella, are you up? You're going to miss breakfast." Zafrina cracked open the door and stuck her head inside.

"I can't eat," I said from beneath the sheet.

She crossed over to the bed and pulled at the blankets by my feet until they slid off and revealed my face "A big old plate of grease is what you need right now to soak up whatever is left in your belly."

"Oh God, Z. Shut up. You're going to make me throw up."

She went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. "You can not spend all day in lectures on an empty hungover stomach. Get your ass in gear."

"Fine," I grumbled, climbing out of bed.

"Was it worth it?" she asked, handing me a towel.

"No."

"It never is." She closed the door behind me and let me scrub off the embarrassment in peace.

~~~~~~~

I sat at a table in the dining room listening to Zafrina and her friends in an involved debate about neo-feminism. It was way too early for this level of intellect and there wasn't enough coffee in all of California for me to tolerate it.

The back of my neck tingled and I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward watching me in that way he does that would be creepy if it was anyone else. He knitted his eyebrows together in concern as I gave a weak smile. Facing him after everything that happened last night was worse than listening to whether or not celebs going sans panties had the same effect as Gertrude Stein burning her bra.

I headed to the buffet line to refill on bacon and felt him follow me.

"Are you okay?" he whispered as I loaded my plate.

"Apart from sheer mortification an a headache to rival an MSG binge, yeah I'm okay."

"I'm not just talking about last night."

"I'm not going to talk about that here or now."

"When then?" He reached out to my hand but caught my wrist instead as I replaced the lid.

"Oh God. Listen. I'm sorry I got drunk and way inappropriate last night. I was looking for an escape but I've just made myself feel worse. I wanted to leave what was going on at home, at home. But I broke down, I needed to talk to to someone about it. Because in my real life, there is no one. I shouldn't have dumped that on you and you don't have to get involved."

"I'm already involved," he said pressing his fingertips into my skin where he had cuffed me like a bracelet. "I want to know what's going on Bella. I need to know you're okay."

His thumb slid up my wrist to press into my palm and circle the flesh. My mouth dried instantly as I struggled to swallow.

"I'm fine. I promise. Can we talk about this later?"

"Alright, but remember. You're out of get out of jail free cards. I want the whole truth. When is your last class?"

"I'm only doing a few this time. My last one is out at three."

"Remember where I parked last year?" he asked and I nodded. "Meet me there when you get out."

He dropped my hand after one less press into my palm and I returned to the table as he disappeared from the room.

"Sorry, no. The glorification of underage girls' sexuality is not feminism. Not when it's done to feed the appetite of men three times their age. We aren't breeding new feminists, we're creating new pedophiles." Zafrina's hand slammed on the table and I turned around to go back for more coffee.

~~~~~~~

My morning lectures were just what I needed to take my mind away from everything that was wrong to focus on everything that was right. One of the leaders had asked for writing samples prior to class and already had feedback for us on day one. His praise gave me a high that sailed me through lunch and the afternoon and before I knew it I was headed to the back parking lot to meet Edward.

He leaned against the door to his car, smoking and staring at the ocean. The top was down and the radio played an old crackling jazz ballad that I recognized but couldn't finger. He was in those dark cuffed jeans again and a plain white tee having lost the dress shirt from this morning. He smiled while patting the back of his gelled hair as he heard my steps across the blacktop, and turned to open the door. I felt like Peggy Sue heading to the malt shop.

He started the engine and turned over his shoulder to back out. As soon as his eyes brushed across me I flushed and clutched my notebook to my chest. I imagined my skirt to have a poodle and my sandals as saddle shoes. I wondered if we'd drive out to the point and neck. The heat rose in my body again as I thought about myself in the backseat with him and I cleared my throat thinking of something safe to say.

"Where are we going?" That was safe enough.

"Lover's Point."

Okay, maybe not.

"What?" I said with a stupid nervous giggle.

"It's a park in Pacific Grove. Best views on the entire coast. You'll dig it. Promise."

A park, I could do a park. It was daytime, they're would be children and no necking. I could handle this. I leaned back in my seat and looked up to the sky. The trees formed a ceiling above us where I could just see the blue pinpricking through the leaves. We reached the main road outside the Lodge but rather than heading for the freeway, he followed the ocean to town.

The town itself could not have possibly been real. Picturesque was a mild description. Every house was an impeccably restored Victorian with green carpeted lawns and flowers blazing. We passed a dozen bed and breakfast inns, quaint shops and cozy restaurants before pulling into a parking spot near a cliff top park overlooking the crashing waves and Monterey Bay.

"You have got to be kidding me. Places like this don't exist anywhere but the movies." I reached for my door handle but Edward had already jumped over his closed door and jogged around to open it for me.

"So I was right. You like it."

"I love it," I breathed, taking his hand to step out.

He didn't let go of my hand and I was rocked with the realization that he didn't have to. No one knew us here. Everyone that did was back at the Lodge distracted by lectures. I looked down at the knot between us and smiled. He squeezed my hand and led me to a small snack shack.

"Coffee?"

"Yes, please," I said, glancing at a menu that would rival Starbucks. "Just a big black one."

"You've got it. Two black coffees, please."

He gave our order and reached for his wallet with his free hand even though it would have been easier to drop mine instead. I pulled back a little, taking him with me. He wasn't letting go. He flipped open the wallet and brought our hands over to slide out a bill. He waved away the change and we reached for our cups with our unencumbered limbs.

I followed him to a bench near the edge, close to the water and away from the crowd. We sat together slurping coffee and not rushing the silence. He dropped my palm, for only a moment, to weave our fingers together.

"So, tell me what happened."

"Just like that. I have to dive right into it?"

"Sorry, I warned you there would be no free passes."

I sighed and squinted into the ocean. I let my eyes relax on that place where blue meets blue and found the peace between breaths. He waited patiently for me to begin.

"I don't know where to start. The beginning, obviously, but I'm not even sure when that is. I've spent a lot of time examining my marriage, looking for the chip in the glass that started the ugly crack. But the whole damn windshield is so full of dings I can't tell intact from broken anymore."

He winced and I paused to take a long swig from my cup.

"So this isn't new information? Bella, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Last year I guess I was still in denial. I'd had my suspicions but I just couldn't let myself believe them to be true. But I've known something was going on with Leah for awhile. When Sarah was a baby I caught them kissing. They didn't see me, I don't know how because I stood there for a full minute in shock. I didn't even think it was him at first. I never knew he was capable of...anyways, I put it out of my head. Told myself it was a one-off or that my hormones were playing tricks on me. I wrapped myself up in my children and being a mom so I wouldn't have to see."

I stopped again and closed my eyes to find composure.

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you," I whispered before finding it in me to go on. "So they kissed and who knows what and I pretended it was nothing all the while not noticing the little ways she weaseled into my life."

"Like what?"

"She's just always there. In every little way. She's on the phone or at his work, she constantly needs help with repairs at her house or her mom's house because her dad is dead, she's at every function we go to, she's fucking buried herself under my nail like a thorn. Do you know he got me a puppy for Christmas? That was my gift, not the girls, mine. He gave me another thing to take care of and pick up after, as a gift. I would have preferred a kitchen appliance, at least they don't shit in the house. And it wasn't just any puppy, it was hers. Her hairball wolf dog had a litter close to Christmas and he brought her into my house. I have to look at her everyday."

"Geez. So if you've known but pretended you didn't, what changed?"

"The writing is just on the wall. I'm embarrassed it took me so long to see it. And to be honest. I'm not sure it's just her. There's been times when he's M.I.A. and I find out she's somewhere he's not. I used to think it was just her and now I don't know."

"Fuck. What are you going to do? Or have you done?" He rubbed the back of his neck and frowned.

The question I didn't know how to answer.

"I've done nothing. He doesn't know I know. I figure this probably is not what you want to hear, but what can I do? I don't have a ton of options. I have no money and zero work experience besides a few summers at the local sporting goods store and an internship at the library. There are little to no jobs in Forks and I can't leave and go somewhere else because of the girls. He's an amazing father and I can't take that away from him or them even if I am hurt. Besides all this, he's not a bad husband. He doesn't beat me or belittle me we get along just fine and, really? His philandering doesn't change that much. He hasn't wanted me in a long time and I gave up on trying."

"You're not to blame, don't do that."

"I am to blame, partly. It's never any one person's fault. Or it's no one's fault. Who do you blame when two people both fall out of love with each other? He might be messing around but I've made myself unavailable."

"How?"

"When I had Sarah I threw myself so wholeheartedly into being a mother I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to being a wife. And then I blamed him when he couldn't see me that way anymore."
"That's still not your fault, Bella. He should be able to accept your dual roles."

I shook my head. "It goes so much deeper than that, he's got mommy issues I've asked him to go into counseling he freaks out at the thought. The way I see it is it's not as bad as it could be. For now that is where I have to be. I am a mother and my girls will always come first."

"Do you worry you're doing them a disservice giving them a bad marriage as a role model?"

"They don't see the bad, Edward. They're too little for that. They need their dad more than I need to leave. And I don't want to be on my own. I don't want to do this alone. I'm being selfish for so many reasons."

"You're being nothing but selfless putting them before your own happiness."

"Truthfully, I'm not entirely unhappy. My ego hurts more than my heart. That's sad, huh? I'm learning I need to find my happiness elsewhere. I need to find it in myself. That's what this is all about. This conference and working on my writing has been my lighthouse. I can see through the dark now."

He pulled our hands into his chest and wrapped his arm around me tucking my head beneath his chin. "You might be the strongest person I've ever met."

I shook my head against his chest, dizzied by his scent. "No way. There's people out their fighting diseases, or searching for missing children or grieving those taken too soon. Those are bigger fights than mine."

"But I don't know them. I know you and your strength and I'm amazed." His thumb locked under my chin as he lifted my face to look at him. Our hands were still pressed between our hearts. "Tell me something, Bluebell and I'll only ask it once."

"Yes?"

He held my gaze for a long time before continuing. His eyes darted back and forth across mine like he was searching for the answer to the question he hadn't asked yet. His heart thudded against my wrist.

"Is this thing between us your way of getting back at him?"

"Edward, no. This isn't about revenge or redemption. Whatever this is between us has nothing to with him. I didn't mean to bring this here, you were just the only person I could talk to about it. I can't let my family or friend's opinion of him be tainted."

"Why not?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes again. It would be easier to say without him watching.

"Honestly? What vow has he broken that I haven't wanted to? If sin is sin and thinking is no different than doing, then I am no better than him." I opened my eyes to Edward. "If I'm already damned then why can't I at least enjoy the sin I've already committed in my head a thousand times before?"

I looked down to our hands and back up to him a he lifted his thumb from my chin and rubbed it across my lips, stopping to press into the fullness of the center. His eyes went back to swimming in mine.

"O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do," he whispered, his breath mixing with his thumb on my lips.

He pressed our hands to his chest as we moved to each other, inch by inch. I watched his mouth move closer and then lift to softly kiss my forehead like the night I had denied him of anything more. I lifted my free hand to his arm and pulled his thumb away. It dragged on my bottom lip, refusing to let go.

"Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purg'd." I lifted my mouth to his, feeling his smile.

"That's my line," he said in exhale.

"Then make your move, Romeo."

He waited a second and no longer before closing the distance between our mouths and laying his lips on mine. My heart dropped from my chest to land on the ground beneath us as our arms tightened around our bodies. We opened together, letting our tongues dare to enter each other. They met in the middle savoring the other with each stroke before pushing past, eager to devour all that was offered. The pace rose and fell with the rhythm of the waves and I found myself breathless but refusing to let him go. In reluctance he pulled away, gasping for breath and leaving kisses along my cheeks, neck and ear while we both wheezed.

"Give me my sin again," he begged. He clutched my hand to his heart, nearly crushing it in earnest, and I gave him my mouth with equal force, again and again.

~~~~~~~

~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love for Edward to take your sin again.~~

Hey y'all! Couple things I wanted to share with you, Tangled up In Blue was nominted for two Bring Me To Life Awards! If you'd like to vote for it please head over here http://www.bringmetolifeawards.weebly.com/. And tell you friends :)

A great conversation about TUiB has started up over on the Twilighted AU-All Human forum. Sunfeathers and buffbronze are keeping the conversation going but I'm sure they'd love your input!

Also, have y'all peeped in on http://www.thefich00rconfessional.com/ yet? There are all kinds of goodies over there including a brand new smut clip review out soon (we perviously drooled over pieces of The Guardian and First Edition). If you haven't been, you don't know what you're missing!

Chapter 15 Teaser

Here's a little taste for y'all....

He leaned against the door to his car, smoking and staring at the ocean. The top was down and the radio played an old crackling jazz ballad that I recognized but couldn’t finger. He was in those dark cuffed jeans again and a plain white tee having lost the dress shirt from this morning. He smiled while patting the back of his gelled hair as he heard my steps across the blacktop, and turned to open the door. I felt like Peggy Sue heading to the malt shop.

He started the engine and turned over his shoulder to back out. As soon as his eyes brushed across me I flushed and clutched my notebook to my chest. I imagined my skirt to have a poodle and my sandals as saddle shoes. I wondered if we’d drive out to the point and neck. The heat rose in my body again as I thought about myself in the backseat with him and I cleared my throat thinking of something safe to say.

“Where are we going?” That was safe enough.

“Lover’s Point.”

Okay, maybe not.

TUiB:14- Damn I WIsh I Was Your Lover

The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.

If you've been reading these you know who I thank. My girls are awesome. I owe them lots of boob shots in chat and a big round of drinks. I'm holding on to that kidnapping promise ladies! I also want to thank several of y'all who took the time to pimp me in your own story or on twitter, or got me validated over on Twilighted (you can read me there too now as well as check out the thread started in the Alternate Universe- Human forum). I passed 200 reviews last chapter, HOLY CRAP. I can't believe anyone wants to read this let alone tell me it's great. :)

So as y'alls reward for the rec'ing and the reviewing I thought you might like a little more Edward...I just couldn't get that boy to shut up! ;)

~~~~~~~

I sat on a mountainside with peace of mind
I laid by the ocean making love to her with visions clear
Walked for days with no one near
And I returned as chained and bound to you

~~Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover, Sophie B. Hawkins

~~~~~~~

~~EPOV~~

Bella's smile spread across her face and and I sat transfixed and dazzled by her glow. She fucking dazzled me. Whatever thoughts I had about this thing possibly losing its appeal after a year apart, were gone. Sure, I staked her ass online and fantasized about her bottom lip when I yanked my dick, but fantasy is one thing and reality is another. I'd worried that when I got here, reality would pale in comparison. I couldn't have had it more ass backwards.

The bizarre connection I felt to her had grown by at least a trillion degrees. It wasn't just my dick responding to her hair blowing in the breeze, her tongue poking out to lick her lips, and her sweater curving her body. Every pore on my skin opened to feel her near me.

We said nothing, just grinning at each other as the rain started to fall. A drop slid down her nose and she blinked in surprise. I jumped from my chair and pulled off my jacket to hold over her. Nobody better say shit about chivalry being dead.

I stepped into her personal space bringing the jacket behind her to tent it above our heads. She was silent as I looked down at her. The peaks of her tits pressed into my chest and my belt buckle rubbed against her stomach. Her chin was tucked down like she was afraid to look at me. I watched her chew her lip and our chests rose and fell together.

She let out a sigh and looked up to me, finally. Her gaze paused on my lips before lifting to my eyes. My heart started banging and clumping around, I thought I was about to bust my fucking aorta. I sank an eye tooth into my cheek and felt her breath on my mouth. She looked to it again and parted her lips. I moved forward by a centimeter feeling my arms shake above us.

"We should go inside," I whispered, not taking my eyes off her. She was still watching my mouth intently, following my lips and tongue as they moved when I spoke.

"We should," was all she said.

"Bella."

"Edward."

She rose on her tip toes and leaned forward slightly pushing her chest into mine. Her lips fluttered across my cheek. "It's good to see you," she said and ducked under my arm, out of our bubble, to run inside from the storm.

~~~~~~~

I dropped my bags on the bed of my room. I was fucking thrilled I got the same cabin as last year. That seemed to be their thing here, if you booked again right away you could get your favorite. It was the last one on the road through the English Garden section and I liked it's seclusion. The first time I came here, back when I was just an aspiring writer, I had a hotel like room at the main house that I shared with another guy. It was great for stumbling home drunk from the Tavern each night but not so great for peace and anonymity. Plus that guy was a real tool. Glad I haven't seen him back here.

My cabin was one of the smallest on the property with everything but the bathroom in one space. But that meant when I was laying in bed I had a fireplace on my left and a fridge on my right, just close enough so I didn't have to reach far to open it up for a beer. The bathroom was so fucking small I had to go in and walk between the toilet and shower stall just to close the door.
The piece de resistance, however, was the moss covered deck out back that housed a claw foot tub enclosed by nothing but the forest. It was the be all end all of fucking bath tubs. I spent a few hours in there last year with a bottle of wine and candles. I could have put on some Kenny G if I had any. Okay maybe not. But it was one of my new favorite places on the whole damn planet.

My pocket buzzed and I pulled out my phone. Jasper. "What up punk?"

"Not much, brother. You there yet?"

"Yeah just arrived. Getting settled. What's going on with you? Is this a friend call or a business call?"

Jasper laughed. "Business, sorry. I just got my hands on the bound galley. Wanted to know if you want a copy Fed-Exed or do you just want me to bring it to you on Saturday?"

"Dude, Saturday's fine. Now that we've mostly put that mother fucker to bed I'm in no hurry to see it again. I need a fucking break."

"I hear you. I didn't think you wanted it but I thought I'd ask."

"When do you get in again?"

"First thing Saturday morning. The agent one on one doesn't start until three so I'll be cool."

"Are you staying or leaving right after? I haven't seen you in forever."

"I wanted to ask, what do you think about me driving back with you? Alice wants to fly down to L.A. and meet us there. Spend some time with you and Rose."

"That'd be sick, Jaz. I'm down. Definitely."

"Cool, it's a plan then. I'll see you Saturday."

I tossed the phone on the bed and looked at my watch. I needed to fucking hustle to get ready for the dinner party thing. Fucking theme nights. I didn't even really get theme tonight, Rose just told me to dress up. I shook out my suit and hung it on the bathroom door frame to steam while I took a shower. I wasn't lazy, I was a champ multi-tasker.

I stripped down to step in the shower and groaned under the hot spray. I let the water work my weary neck and when I looked to my dick, I thought of Bella. I couldn't see my dick without thinking of her. I was like Pavlov's fucking dog.

I can't believe there was ever a time I thought she was ordinary even if it was just for a second. She was blow your fucking mind extraordinary in her simplicity. Like today, clad in jeans and a sweater, she was hotter than any fucking get up Rose contorted herself into. She didn't fart around with her hair or glob tons of shiny shit on her face. She just was.

I lathered the soap and gave myself a few strokes. I didn't even have to picture the girl naked to get going. She was erotic and enticing fully clothed. My grip tightened and I rolled my thumb along the edge of my shaft. The slit widened and seeped as I imagined Bella's tits pressed against me, but now without the fucking sweater. I replaced my hand with hers and watched the lust in her eyes as I pumped so hard my balls slapped my thighs. My free hand flew out and smacked the tile wall as I doubled over spraying it with my cum. I shuddered and squeezed again, milking out the last of it.

I finished showering and got dressed taking a few swings from the bottle of Jack I'd picked up at a liquor store just outside of town. Always with the Jack Daniels. But I needed it to calm the fuck down if I was going to make it through tonight with Bella. In fact, I might as well set up an intravenous drip to make it through the week.

The large dining room at the main house was packed when I finally made my way there. I could tell the voice level was at drunk already veering dangerously close to plastered. Holy fuck. I was only a half-hour past the start. How much liquor could they all consume in thirty minutes?
I looked around the room but didn't see Bella so I headed for the bar for my free drinks. I swallowed one down and asked for another sticking my finger at my throat to loosen my tie. Fucking tie, stupidest invention ever. I sucked an ice cube in my mouth and glanced around again. There was a large group of suits circled around something in the far corner and I saw Garrett's ponytail flopping at the top of one. He had his arm around a girl I'd met before but couldn't recall her name now.

Through their shoulder I saw a pale wrist flail about as laughter broke out in the group. I knew that wrist. I'd sucked salt from that wrist. I moved towards the group and heard her voice above them all.

"...such a stupid dog. Can you believe it? A chipmunk! He didn't even kill it. He just brings it in and drops it on the floor and it starts running berserk and I'm screaming, the girls are crying, the stupid dog starts barking, and the chipmunk is freaking scaling the curtains and jumping from one surface to another. I couldn't even get on a chair or something because the damn thing climbs."

The mostly male group of admirers laughed again as Bella paused to drink from her glass. Her head tilted way back and her curls brushed her shoulders to fall onto her back. Her eyes closed as she drank and when she pulled the glass away, she slid her tongue out to lick every last drop from her lips. I'd never been jealous of barware in my life. I swallowed the ice in my mouth and felt it lodge in my throat.

"So I start yelling, 'Chip! Chip! Stop it Chip!' Like the chipmunk knows the name I've randomly given him. Like he's a pet. I finally get smart and think 'hey, we've been observing this guy for months on the back deck, he's pretty smart' and I open up the patio door. He makes a freaking beeline for it straight between my legs while I nearly shimmy up the door to get away from him. Now I no longer think chipmunks are cute, my kids are afraid of them, and poor little Chip has never been seen again. He probably collapsed of a heart attack as soon as he hit the tree line."

They exploded in laughter again and another drink was handed to her by one of her suitors and I glared at him. First of all, who the fuck was he? He could be roofie-ing that shit for all I knew. And second, she was already way gone. She didn't need another drink. She smiled at him with half closed eyes and lifted a hand to finger the pearls at her neck. There was chatter in the group, mostly about the story, but it sounded like they were underwater. Everything else around me floated away in the current. I had tunnel vision straight to her.

She was leaning back in her chair, legs crossed with the top one bouncing the heel of her shoe against her foot. She smiled at me while running her fingertip around the rim of her glass. That fucking glass again. Fuck you, glass. She dipped a fingertip in her drink and popped it in her mouth. Fuck you, drink. Fuck everything she touches that isn't me.
I didn't move toward her, instead I drank from my glass and glanced around the room. All I saw were spots.

"Edward," she called to me.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Come here."

"You come here."

She glanced to Garrett who had his mouth on his very pregnant companion, and Benito who's head was ducked with the poster boy for metrosexuals. Or homosexuals. Shit, I could never fucking tell the difference. She pushed off the table with a wobble and threw out her other hand to balance herself. How many fucking drinks did these motherfuckers pour in her?

She took a few steps to me and I made a few to her. Before we met in the middle I whispered, "Let's get the fuck out of here, Bluebell," and she blushed and nodded. "Tavern, five minutes," I said.

She moved for the ladies room and I slipped out a patio door unnoticed. I entered the empty bar and waved to James while heading to the familiar dark corner at the back.

"Well if it isn't my favorite customer. Good to see you, what'll it be?"

"A double Crown and Coke and just a Coke."

"You got an invisible friend I don't know about? Or is that tasty little snack going to be joining you again?"

My eyes narrowed as I said nothing. James cocky grin wavered. "Just get the fucking drinks and mind your own business, barkeep."

Bella opened the door and stumbled in, shoes in hand. She gave a lazy smile to James as she crossed over to me and plunked the shoes on the bar. She reached for her drink and grimaced as she swallowed.

"What is this?"

"A Coke."

"Just Coke?"

"Yes, Bella. I think you're good."

"No, sorry. This is the first night I've had without my sticky fingered entourage in months. I want another drink."

She leaned forward on the bar until her bare feet hung in the air and dumped the glass half out in the sink below her. James appeared and filled it with Crown despite my glare. She drank greedily and smacked her lips.

"How are your kids?"

"Why the hell are you asking about my kids?"

"You brought them up."

"Did not."

"Then who's sticky fingers were you talking about?"

She stuck her tongue out at me and ran her fingers through her hair. They got stuck half way down in the hair-sprayed curls. She tugged with little success and I reached out to untangle her ring from her hair.

"That freeze dried wackaloon from last year showed up at my cabin to play beauty parlor. Lucy or whatever. I was already too buzzed to argue so I let her." She touched the ruffles of her green dress. "What the hell is with these themes?"

I laughed. "I don't know but I'm planning to skip most of them. Are they trying to torture us?"
"No shit. I think we're the only ones that feel that way though, everyone is all excited about what they're wearing. Garrett can't wait for Studio 54 night."

"Who's that girl with him?"

"Kate Travel Adventure, you know her. They met here last year and got married a few weeks later in Peru. She's due next month."

"You're shitting me. No kidding? Good for him. I never thought that old bachelor would settle down."

Bella laughed and nodded. "Yeah well, he said she was all he could think about. I guess when you know, you know." She reached for her drink and chugged without looking at me.

"Is that how it works?"

"I wouldn't know," she said, glancing down. "So what is going on with you. Your next book is due out soon, right?"

"Yeah, this summer. We're doing a pretty big tour. Bigger than before. I can honestly say...I'm not looking forward to it one fucking bit. What about you? What's new?"

"I don't want to talk about me," she said with a shrug. "I'm fine, the kids are fine, blah blah blah."

"You haven't posted on your facebook page much. And by the way, you need to change your fucking settings. Any creep could watch you on there."

"Like you?"

"I'm not a creep. But yes."

"How could you see my page anyways? I thought you were leaving me messages on yours but I didn't realize you could see mine until Halloween."

"Eric Yorkie is my neighbor."

"Shut up," she said, smacking the bar. "What are the odds of that?"

"I know right? I couldn't make that shit up."

We grinned at each other unaware of James approach. "Can I get you a refill?" he asked.

"Let's do shots," Bella said and I groaned.

"Shit Bluebell, you are relentless. What do you want?"

"A Screaming Orgasm," she said, looking in my eyes with a smirk. "I'd actually like several Screaming Orgasms."

"Oh I'll give you a Screaming Orgasm, in fact I'll make it a double." James winked and reached for a cocktail shaker.

Good fucking God this girl was going to kill me. Where did she get off getting so drunk and fucking saucy? I could barely see straight with sober Bella or keep my dick in my pants with buzzed but responsible Bella. Drunk balls to the wall Bella was going to do me in.

She downed the shot and then another. Several more later she was squinting at the jukebox and swearing when she kept hitting the wrong keys. We were forced through Achy Breaky Heart and Boot in Your Ass before I rescinded her right to pick the songs.

"It's not my fault!" she cried as I grabbed her wrist away from the keys. Her skin glowed blue from the flashing jukebox light. "My fingers have minds of their owns. They keep picking this shit. I can't help it."

"Well tell your fingers to knock it the fuck off. You show me what you want and I'll put it in."
Bella smirked at the double entendre and moved to point to her choice of song. I still hadn't dropped her wrist so my arm moved with her. F-7. I kept my fingers around the narrow joint feeling her veins throbbing beneath my thumbs, and moved her hand to the buttons. She kept her pointer finger out and I pressed it into F and then 7. She smiled up from her eyelashes and wrapped her wrists around my neck as the song began to play. My grip loosened and my hand fell down her arm.

"What do you say to a little sex on the beach?" she whispered, moving her hips slightly to the music.

"I say, no more shots, Bella. You've got your toe on a line."

She snorted. "Maybe I wasn't talking about shots."

"Maybe we should get you out of here before we make any regrets."

"I thought you said I'd never be a regret," she said with a pout.

"I said you could never be a mistake. Not the same thing."

"So you could regret me."

"No. But I could regret you happening the wrong way." I lifted both hands to her wrists and pulled her from my neck. "Let's get you to your room."

She wiggled from my grasp. "James, Sex on the Beach for everyone!"

"We're the only ones here."

"Huh, you're right. That'll keep the bar tab low."

I followed her to the bar where she choked back the shot and swayed. James swiped the glasses and pointed to the clock before wiping the bar.

"We're only open until eleven during the week, guys."

"We were just leaving," I said.

"No we weren't! One more James? Make it a big one," she begged as he laughed and complied.
She turned to me and closed one eye, the little pirate. "Ahh, that's better. Now I can see you, Black Honey."

"What?" I said with a laugh.

"You always wear black and you're covered in honey." Her fingertips reached out to stroke my sideburns. "Black Honey."

"I don't always wear black."

"Yes you do. And I thought you didn't like black." She wagged her finger at me.

"I don't like black ink. You should talk by the way. You always wear blue."

"I do? No I don't. This is green," she said with a clumsy twirl.

"Even when you don't wear all blue, you sneak it in somewhere." My hand went to the dangly blue and green earrings near her neck. I grazed her throat and she shivered under my touch.
"Is that why you call me Bluebell?"

"Partly," I admitted. "Come on, I'll walk you back to your room."

"Only if you promise to pour me a drink once we get there."

"I am not sober enough to drive your ass to the ER for a stomach pump."

"Fine, I'm sure you can find other ways to entertain me."

Shit. If she was going to keep coming onto me like this I was going to have a hard time resisting. I had nowhere near the self control she exercised last year. I guess it was my turn this time and I needed the blood in my head and not in my pants.

I helped her with her shoes and put my hand on her back to lead her out of the bar and we didn't speak once we hit the dark. It was only a few minutes walk to the cabin and I was bummed when we reached the porch.

"Come in? For a little bit?"

How could I say no?

"Okay."

She giggled at nothing and ran into a chair. "I think I should sit."

"Good idea. Bella, what's going on with you?" I asked as we both sank to the couch.

"I don't know what you mean," she said frowning.

"Yeah you do."

"I don't want to talk about it, Edward. I just want to forget it all."

"What?"

"Just stop, please? There are far better things we could do with that mouth of yours."

She was crawling across the couch to where I sat stunned. She was going to kiss me. And I was going to be a gentleman and turn her down. Fuck me.

"Woah, wait Bella, No. We can't do this."

"Why the fuck not?" she cried. "Because I'm in a sham of a marriage? I think that's all the more reason why we should."

"Sham of a marriage? What is going on?"

She dropped back on her seat and her hands fell to her lap. "He's having an affair."

"What? Oh God. I'm so sorry." The fucking cunt ass son of a bitch. I'll hunt him down and feed him his balls through his nostrils.

I reached for her hand but it flew to her mouth before I made contact. She sprang from the couch and ran through the open door behind her. I heard her wretch repeatedly and grimaced. The sound of the sink went on and off a few times and I went to her room and waited near the bed.

She emerged in a tank top and cotton shorts, her face freshly scrubbed but a sallow shade of green. She gave a meek smile and climbed across the bed to fall on the pillows. Even freshly puked she turned me on.

"Oh my God. I haven't blown chunks like that in years. I'm so sorry," she mumbled in the pillows face down.

"No apology necessary, are you okay?" I winced at her blackened feet.

"I am now that I brushed and downed Listerine. I can't taste alcohol or puke anymore so I'm good. I just hope I don't burp." She rolled over part way to look at me through her hair as I chuckled.

"Hey, don't take this the wrong way but your feet are disgusting."

She raised her head and bent her knee to lift her foot and look at them. "Oh gross. I can't get up, I'll puke," she whined.

"Hold on," I said and went to the bathroom. I grabbed a bar of soap two towels wetting one with warm water. "I'll do it," I said, going back in the room.

Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly. "You'll wash my feet?" she said with a smile, her voice full of sleep.

I reached out to take her little foot in my hand and smoothed the dry towel out on her bed. I squeezed water from the other towel on her and soaped up her foot, washing away the muck she collected along the way. I took all the darkness, all the black dirt, onto my hands and made her clean.

"Thank you," she sighed as I rubbed her foot one last time.

I went to the bathroom to scrub up and when I came back she was passed out above the blankets. I tucked her beneath the covers and smoothed the wayward curls from her face. She turned her face into my hand and I held her cheek for a minute before bending over and breathing in her scent. The flowers took the edge off, but now I needed my fix of pure Bella.
She sighed a little and her breath deepened. I watched her closed lids as I leaned closer. I hovered above her mouth before pressing my lips to hers, softly and only for a second.

"Dream of me, Bluebell," I whispered in her ear.

~~~~~~~

~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love for Edward to tuck you in at night.~~


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TUiB:13- A Satisfied Mind

The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.

KatieTv, Sugartits, kstewfangirl, y'all are the best cheerleaders a girl could have, thank you! This week was again filled with readers leaving multiple reviews and some reviews that seriously touched me. Hearing y'alls thoughts on this story and especially how it personally touches is you is over the moon amazing. :)

Now take look who's back to show us what he's been doing...

~~~~~~~

Money can't buy back
Your youth when you're old
Or a friend when you're lonely
Or a love that's gone cold
The wealthiest person
Is a pauper at times
Compared to the man
With a satisfied mind

~~Johnny Cash

~~~~~~~

~~EPOV~~

Fall

"You're wearing that to punish me for not going, aren't you?"

"Why? You Jealous?" she said and bent over to brush away a nonexistent string just so she could stick her ass in my face.

"Try concerned for your safety. You've got nothing on besides a bikini fashioned out of police caution tape. What exactly are you supposed to be?"

"A crime scene, obviously." She stepped her leg out to do a spin and my eyes landed on the chalk outline of a dick on her thigh.

"Jesus Christ, Rose." I stretched my arms over my head and took in the tit seepage along the bottom of the tape. She had a kick ass rack.

"What? I'll be fine. I'm going to the big gay carnival. I learned long ago I couldn't turn even the cute ones straight."

"Lord knows you've tried. Well, be careful anyways. Watch out for rogue lesbians following you home."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, baby?" She walked to my chair and put her black high heel on the arm showing me just how bare she was beneath that tape.

"Are you sure there's no way to get you out of this?" I asked, skimming my hand up the thigh without the chalk cock and tugging on the tape.

"Wouldn't you like to know. Come with me and find out."

"I can't. Deadline. Jasper's going to take my nuts if I don't get this to my editor by Monday."

"Well fuck you then. I'm Audi 5000." She dropped her leg back to the ground and adjusted her top, if you could call it that.

The doorbell rang and our neighbors burst in before she answered it. Eric and his child lover Vasili were both dressed in some pink boy brief panty things with ruffles all over them and nothing else. There might have been shoes, I wasn't sure, I was blinded by the glitter.

"Damn Thorn, you are smoking!" Eric grabbed Rose's hand to spin her around.

He nicknamed her Thorn shortly after moving into the Spanish villa next door. He said it was because she was a 'prickly ass bitch.' He was nothing if not perceptive. Guess it came with the territory because he was the mouth behind the biggest celebrity gossip blog and he didn't miss a fucking thing. When I first heard that I flipped the fuck out, but we came to an agreement and he promised to keep his eyes and ears to himself. He was in love with Rose, in that non sexual way gays love pretty shiny girls, so he'd keep his fucking mouth shut.

"Vas, look at that ass. What I wouldn't do for an ass like that." He reached out to smack it as Vasili nodded in the background.

"Hello Mr. Edward," Vasili said in his overly formal way. He obviously wasn't a child, but his mannerisms and diminutive size were deceiving.

"Keep an eye on that ass, would you Eric? I want it returned to me untouched."

Eric made no such promises and Rose rolled her eyes. When they finally left I exhaled into the peace. Our place was always a revolving door of noise and commotion given that Rose ran her business from here. At least the nights were quiet with her out ass kissing leaving me home to write. What I really needed was to catch some fucking z's. It had been impossible to sleep around here lately with Christmas orders starting to roll in already.

I wanted to be in bed before she got home tonight but the fucking chapter notes I'd just gotten in would make that impossible. She'd fall through the door in a few hours drunk and looking to score and I just didn't have it in me now. I couldn't believe I was fucking thinking this, but screwing her was getting old. She was still bat shit crazy in the bedroom but she never wanted to fuck face to face and sometimes it'd be nice to look in the eyes of the person my dick was inside of.

Good God I was being a fucking pussy. What the fuck was wrong with me? Rose was my sexual equal in every way. When we ran into each other again, all those years after high school, I knew I'd never find another chick like her. I had it fucking made. She was hot, snarky, knew more about cars than I did, and could fuck me under the table. Sometimes literally.

I knew what the problem was. It was the same problem I'd had for months. Bella was the fucking problem. She's taken up permanent residence in my mind and there was no way I could pound the snot out of Rose while Bella was watching. Come to think of it, I was developing a sick little fetish where I had to rub one out to Bella and work her off my mind before I could even think of getting it up for Rose.

My pants tightened just at the thought and I fucking smacked my dick. Not now. I had an ass load of work to do. My fingers hit the keyboard instead of picking up my pen and before I knew it I was on stalkerbook typing in her name. I could almost hear the sound of twenty-five to life calling my name.

It started after I got home last spring. We hadn't agreed to it but some kind of pact was made that we wouldn't contact each other. I thought it was bullshit. I knew how to play by the rules. I wasn't going to fucking email her a photo of my cock I just wanted to know how she was doing. After a month of going crazy, I gave in and put her name in the search engine.

Words can't describe how pissed I was when I realized I could access her wall and photos and shit. She had her security settings all wrong and I made a mental note to fix it for her at the conference. Her page wasn't entirely open because I made up another account and checked. Yeah I said it, shut the fuck up, I know I'm crazy. Still, it was set to "friends of friends" which was a wide ass net. She needed to change it to "friends only." That was after I saw her again and convinced her to add me.

When I saw who our mutual friend was, I just about cut a the fuck would have thought that my little Bluebell would know Eric fucking Yorkie, my next door neighbor. A quick peek on Eric's page told me what I never knew before. He was born and raised in Forks until he hightailed it to the city of lights fresh out of high school. It was a small world after all. I hadn't worked up the balls to ask him about Bella yet mostly because I knew his allegiance to Rose would send up all kinds of flags.

I clicked through her recent photos adds and smiled at one of her with her daughters. She radiated from the screen and those little faces beam with love for their mama. I went back to her wall and noticed that the profile pic that started it all still hadn't changed. It was like she left it there for me.

A few months back I was stalking her page like normal in the early hours of the morning when I should have been writing. She uploaded photo of herself and changed it to her profile pic right in fucking front of me. I knocked over an entire cup of coffee in fear even though I knew she obviously didn't know I was there, watching her online.

The picture was fucking mind blowing. She was in that white dress she wore the last time I saw her and sitting in the sand. The sun lit her from behind and she was laughing at the camera like she didn't realize it was going off. It was just how I thought of her, smiling and full of life. The caption read, "Me at La Push, taken by Sarah. Not bad for a three-year-old."

I stared at it for a long time that night remembering the sound of her voice and the feel of her skin. I fucking loved the way she smelled. I couldn't figure out what it was for the longest time. It was so faint just lingering on the surface. I knew it wasn't perfume or shampoo or some shit. It was like it came from her pores. I wanted to bottle it up and rub my dick with it.

It just so happened that the cleaning ladies had refreshed the flowers that morning. When I had sat down to work Bella was all around me and I couldn't form a coherent thought to save my novel's life. I was fucking gone over flowers. What the fuck?

It was those flowers that led me to her page that night and when I saw she was online too I updated my fan page just for her. I didn't know if she'd see it, but I liked to think she would. I imagined her fiending over my page like I did hers. So I sent her a message in an internet bottle and it became the first of many.

There's a vase of fresh cut freesia on my desk tonight. I'm finding myself distracted, remembering where I've smelled this little blue beauty before.

Made steaks for dinner tonight. Wasn't the same without a twice baked potato.

It's nights like this I wish I had a hot tub.

Clueless is on the TV. Did that chick really not know who Billie Holiday was? Damn, I just admitted I'm watching it.

My publicist was over the fucking moon, she'd been trying to get me posting on the fan page more for fucking ever. I needed to be "more accessible to my fans." What the fuck ever. There was one fan I was giving access too and that was it.

I stretched my arms out again and looked at the clock. It'd been hours since Rose left and I'd done nothing. I hadn't even moved from the dining room table to my secluded office where I could concentrate. I clicked back to Bella's wall for one last look and saw that she updated her status three minutes ago.

Recipe for disaster: Two small worn out children hyped on Halloween. Add thirty candy bars aka one million grams of sugar. Mix with four cups of juice, one town carnival, and costumes they refuse to take off for bed. Best served with mass quantities of alcohol.

God I loved reading everything she wrote. One fucking status update and I'm grinning like a fool thinking of her all bent out of shape. I drummed my fingers on the table and went back to my news feed to type a message I hoped she would find.

Feeling a little blue tonight and I'm fresh out of tequila. Suggestions?

I hit the "share" button and pushed my chair back to balance on the hind legs. I waited a few beats and put in her name. Her profile popped up with a new status.

Unfortunately a quick scour of the kitchen reveals I am without liquor unless you count the bottle of crap tequila we keep over the fridge, and I don't. I've had better and I can't go back. Suggestions?

I knew it. I fucking knew it. "Uhhhhhh!" I shouted at the screen, "Caught you Bluebell. Caught you red handed." I went back to my page to type another message when I heard voices out the open window.

"We're almost there, honey. Just relax, that's right. Vasili! Pick up her fucking feet. I'm doing all the work here and you're letting five hundred dollar shoes drag on the sidewalk. Rose, stop touching my ass I don't care if you like the ruffles."

Yeah, that did not sound good. What the fuck was going on? I pushed away from the table and reached the door as Eric opened it. He had both arms around Rose's torso and she was total dead weight. I would have thought she was passed out if it wasn't for the barrage of giggles and her hands fingering Eric's panties.

"What the hell? What's going on?" I said and reached out to take her from them. I scooped her up like she was a virgin going over the threshold and her left boob popped out of the tape.

"Someone gave her a mint or something, I don't know..." Eric said rubbing his biceps.

"A mint? That wasn't a mint, she's-"

"Oh you have ruffles too, pretty pretty. Ruffles. Ruffles. Ruffles," Rose said, stroking my eyelashes.

"Stop it Rose, stop. Get your fingers out of my eyes."

"Fingggggers. I have pretty fingers."

"She's on E," said Eric. Tell me something I don't fucking know.

"Yeah, I got that. I can't fucking believe this. How long has she been gone?"

"I don't know man, an hour? Maybe more. I didn't realize what was going on until I saw her trying to put her hand in these guys' mouths when they were making out. She said it was a waste of a good tongue and she wanted to take them home with her. The, err, tongues not the guys. Well, maybe the guys. You know Thorn."

"She needs water," piped up Vasili.

"Oh shit. Shit. I have a fucking deadline. Okay guys, thanks for getting her home safe. I appreciate it. We'll talk to you later."

"No problem, I'm sorry Edward, I didn't know. She was fine, on good behavior and everything and wham, there she goes putting her hands up skirts and in peoples' mouths. I'll call in the morning."

Eric closed the door behind them and I carried Rose to our room and dropped her on the bed. She laughed and wiggled on the sheets.

"Okay baby, we're going to get you into bed. Can you take off your shoes?"

"Noooooo, you like it when I leave them on." She gave me a coy smile and batted her huge ass pupils at me.

I went in the bathroom and returned with a glass of water and a Tylenol PM. "Take this. It'll help."

"I don't want any more fucking mints. No mints. Mints. Mints. Minnnntssss. Words are funny."

"Yeah they are, and I promise it's not a 'mint,' it will help calm you down. Take it."

She popped the pill in her mouth and gulped the inch of water. "More agua."

"No you can't chug it, you need to sip." I bent down to take her shoes off and peeled the police tape from her skin. "Get under the covers before you get cold."

I got her beneath the blankets and she nestled in the pillows stroking her eyelashes. This was so the last thing I needed. I just blew hours of work off but there was no way I could leave her like this.

"Edward? Will you touch me?" She lifted her head to fan her hair across the pillow and I kicked off my boots and climbed in next to her. I combed my fingers through her hair and she sighed.

"That makes me feel pretty."

"You are pretty."

"I know. So are you."

I laughed so she couldn't hear me and get pissed off. "Just relax Rose, take deep breaths and ride it out."

"I'm happy Edward. Are you happy?"

"Shhhh. Of course I am, baby."

"No you're not. But that's okay. Right now, I'm happy enough for the both of us."

~~~~~~~

Winter

"I'm not happy, Rose."

"I don't really give a rat's ass. It's what I want to do."

"I'm not going."

"Emmett's not going. I already asked. He's going to Aspen with his new girlfriend. I don't want to see that ass clown any more than you do. Problem solved, we can go."

"Why? We always go see your family in New York for Christmas. Why the fuck the sudden hankering to slum it in Forks?"

"Because! I haven't seen Alice for ages and-"

"Then why don't they come here, or we can go to Seattle. Let Alice and Jasper host the festivities."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Your parents always have Christmas at their house."

"No they fucking don't!" I yelled, grabbing at my hair. "In my nearly thirty fucking Christmases I can count on one hand how many have been at a house. I'm not fucking going. End of story."

"For fucking fuck's sake. You act like you're allergic to the town or something. I'll give you a Benadryl. You'll be fine."

Fighting her on this was not going to work. Rose didn't lose a fight, ever. A new tactic was needed, pronto.

"Baby," I said, saddling up to her and kissing her neck, "do you really want to spend vacation in drab boring Forks, in the cold? Where you'll have to wear thermals? And sensible shoes? And listen to my sister hound you about a wedding neither of us give two shits about?"

She rolled her head to give me better access. "Not really," she said with a sigh. "I don't know how many more times I can tell her I don't care about getting married as long as I have this big ass rock on my finger."

"That's right. So why spend a week with her jabbering about tulle and peonies and shit. Let's take you somewhere that ring will sparkle."

She spun around and threw her arms up over my shoulders. Bingo.

"Where?" Here eyes were wide as she licked her lips.

"Anywhere you want. You pick."

"Edward, you are the best! I'm hitting up the faves in my travel folder right now. We better book today, don't you think? We'll have to leave next week. I'm going to need..." Her voice trailed off down the hallway as she headed for her office.

I was a golden god. I'd weaseled out of the Forks trip and made it look like I was doing her a favor. There was no fucking way I could go to Forks. I couldn't sleep at night knowing Bella was a car ride away. I'd spend the entire trip plotting ways to run into her and then pussing out because the last thing I wanted to do was mess with her life.

I powered up my laptop and stretched out on the couch. Like always I went to her page right off, it might as well been my home page, and glanced at her latest activity. There was nothing new since yesterday but the last post consisted of her kids' Christmas wish lists. I went back to my fan page to leave her a present.

I know what I want for Christmas but it won't fit under a tree. I'll settle for the Johnny Cash boxed set. Wrap it up in blue.

~~~~~~~

Conference

A hundred miles, a tank of gas, and half a pack of cigarettes separated me from Monterey. Two more hours of Bluebell on my mind instead of in front of my eyes. Rose thought I was out of my damn mind for driving instead of flying. I guess she really didn't get how much I loved my car. And I knew she didn't know I needed the miles to leave her behind. I've found a greater respect for distance when I've driven the road rather than soared above it. I shook off E.A. Cullen's skin by the time I hit Oxnard and now that I was in Cambria, I was completely Bella's Edward.

I turned the heat up and the stereo down. It was cold as fuck and my balls had crawled back up in me as protest but I didn't want to put the top up. I didn't care if it was fucking foggy and freezing. The wind blew through me and washed off the hard edges of home. It was just what I fucking needed to wake me up.

The yellow lines sailed by and I pulled into the Lodge just after two. It was later than I fucking wanted and if I missed her arrival I was going to bust some heads. I smiled for the lady behind the desk and had her fawning over me so I could inquire, without resistance, to whether or not Bella had checked in.

"What did you say her name was, honey?" She went to her computer and dropped her voice. "You know I'm not supposed to be doing this, right?" she asked with a wink.

"It'll be our secret," I said, raising my eyebrows. "It's Isabella Swan. She's in Scarlet Begonia."

Her fingers ratted the keys. "Scarlet Begonia. Oh here we go. No, she's not here yet. I have her arriving on the next shuttle though. Should be in shortly. Want to leave a message for her here?"

"No, thank you, that's okay. You've been very helpful, doll."

I made my way to the registration table to pick up my name tag and conference shit. They'd already pre-sent me the class roster and writing samples and I knew I wasn't as lucky to have Bella this time. I hadn't expected to, they offered me the big guns this go round and I was leading a workshop about manuscript preparation and self-editing. Bella wasn't at that place yet. I was alright with it, better than alright. I'd have an easier time leading the class since I could keep my dick in my pants.

"You are all set, Mr. Cullen. Remember to wear your name tag at all times and check out the updated schedule. You're aware we're mixing it up this year and having theme nights all week, not just for Friday's costume party?"

Yeah I was aware. I fucking groaned when I got the packet last month. Theme nights. Like it was fucking high school spirit week. They're lucky they didn't do a pajama day or I would have backed the fuck out all together. I didn't even own pajamas.

"Got it. I'll be gussied up for tonight's cocktail party, don't you worry," I said with a smirk. She giggled and fanned herself and I laughed. Chicks were so easy.

I slipped on the name tag and went to stuff the packet in my car. I grabbed my gray jacket and a book and went around to the the back of the building. Climbing the stairs to the patio behind the large convention room, I saw the perfect chair to set my weary ass and wait for her. I checked the doors to make sure they were unlocked and lit a cigarette.

I got through a chapter or so when I felt the air around me change. I swear to fucking God, there was a shift. I looked up to the door just as she opened it to step through. Her eyes widened when they met mine and her mouth changed from a gasp to a grin. A big ass mother fucking shit eating grin.

"You're here," she said with disbelief. "I came out to see, but I didn't think you'd actually be here, waiting."

I drank her in until I felt full and smiled. "Where else would I be?"

~~~~~~~~

~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love to find Edward waiting for you, right where you left him.~~