The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.
Love to my girls, who celebrate my triumphs as their own, everyone should be lucky enough to have friends like you.
In a town this size
There ain't no place to hide
Everywhere you go you meet someone you know
You can't steal a kiss, in a place like this
How the rumors do fly
In a town this size
~~ In a Town This Size, John Prine
Still Fall
~~EPOV~~
I couldn't find the words fast enough and she was still fucking with her bag as she walked towards me. My hands were frozen on the gate and she still hadn't looked at me.
"It's okay. I'm happy to help," I said in a whisper.
She stopped at the end of the truck and raised her head, hands shaking. The surprise in her eyes was unmistakable, and totally worth breaking the vow I made with myself that I wouldn't, under any circumstances, run into her.
"Edward?"
"Hello, Bella."
"What…what are you doing here?" She still hadn't moved from the other side of the truck. It was like she trusted the metal to act as a barrier between us.
"Helping you," I said, like this wasn't a big fucking deal.
The smile spread across her face like syrup on hot pancakes.
"So you are. But what are you doing in Forks? Thanksgiving? At home?"
"Yep. Alice threatened us all with bodily harm if it didn't happen. What about you? I thought you were going out of town?"
"How…?"
"Facebook," I said with a shrug. "I saw you talking with Emily about going out of town."
"Such a stalker. Were you checking to make sure my territory was clear before coming in?"
"Something like that. I really didn't think you'd be here, if I'd known I would have given you the heads up."
My voice was low and the distance between us was shrinking. I'm not sure which one of us was moving closer, or if we were being pulled across time and space unconsciously, like magnets.
"I wasn't feeling well. My sister-in-law is pregnant, didn't want to chance giving her a bug…Oh my god, it's good to see you."
She was breathless, tiny and sweet, and more than anything, I wanted to touch her.
"It's good to see you too," I said, grinning like an idiot.
"Hey, what's wrong? They sent out reinforcements after they told me you'd offered to—oh hey, Bella," Jasper said, approaching the truck.
The spell was broken as we both turned to look at Jasper. He slowed down as he got closer.
"Bella's the karaoke lady," I said.
"That's me," she waved her hand across her chest in a half circle.
"Well, isn't that a coincidence. Good to see you, Bella." Jasper reached out and hugged her.
Lucky fuck.
"Come on, let's get this shit inside, it's freezing out here," he said, reaching for the equipment I'd forgotten.
The biggest machine went with Jasper and I grabbed the other odds and ends to follow behind him. Bella glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, saw me looking, and grinned again.
"So, what are you guys doing here?" she asked.
"Apparently, it's a Cullen family tradition to start off the Christmas season here. Jasper, Alice and I brought them a tree, along with my parents." I hoped she noticed the name I left off.
"Where do you want this?" Jasper asked.
"The big gathering room. I'm guessing that's where you set up the tree," she said.
She unzipped her coat to slip out of it and shook off the wetness on the entry rug. When she reached up to hang it on the coat rack next to mine, I saw a slice of her flesh peek out between her jeans and her sweater. My fingertips could feel her beneath them, like they had cellular memory of her skin.
I followed her to the room where we had set up the tree and where almost all the residents were now gathered. She lit up the room as she waved and the group clapped and called to her. Obviously, she was a crowd favorite.
Jasper had set the machine down on a table at the front of the room, and I weaved through wheel chairs and canes to bring the rest of it. We waited for Bella as she made her way around the room, stopping at each eager pair of hands for a hug or handshake.
"What's all this?" Alice said, coming over with our parents.
"Karaoke night, I guess," I said. "Looks like it's pretty popular."
"Do you need help setting this up, Bella?" Jasper said, emphasizing her name more than was necessary.
Alice's mouth hung open a little and I knew instantly that he didn't keep shit from his wife. Bros before hoes my ass. Not that my sister was a ho, in fact if he didn't put her first I'd probably whip his ass, but that was beside the point.
"Hello there, Bella." Carlisle stuck out his hand. "You remember my wife, Esme?"
"Yes of course, hello Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen."
"And this is our daughter Alice, though I think you may have met her before," Carlisle said and motioned to Alice. "Edward knows Bella from a writing conference."
He said it like nobody knew. Of course they knew, it was obvious this was the Bella they'd all wondered about when I called the ER in a panic. Now they got to see her for themselves.
"Alice, hi, yes we met once at that charity thing. It was a long time ago," she said.
"I think I remember," Alice said and shook her hand.
Bella raised her eyebrows with her awkward smile and stuffed her hands in her back pockets. She knew that they knew something. I hope she didn't think they were privy to it all. I wasn't that fucking close to my family. Gross.
"Okay. So I'm going to do this." Bella's hand fluttered in the air at the karaoke machine.
"Right, we were going anyway. Nice to meet you," Alice said and reached out to pull on Jasper's arm.
"Oh, let's stay," Esme piped up. "Karaoke is so fun. I'll bet they're just adorable doing it. Come on gang, it'll be great."
My mouth opened and closed like I was crunching a hard chunk of gum. Stay? As in stay here? With Bella?
"I think that sounds like a great idea. At least for a few songs. What do you say kids?" Carlisle said.
Alice shook her head but Jasper spoke up. "Sure. Why not?"
"Well, you're welcome to stay. Let me know if there's any songs you want to do. They sing a few, but they always ask me to partner with them. Take the heat off and help me out, will you?" Bella said.
Jasper laughed and reached for the song book while Alice flashed a fake smile and moved towards the crowd. She found one of her favorite residents and sat next to her.
"Mr. Banner, you going to start us off like usual? Are we going Frank Sinatra or Louis Armstrong tonight? What are you feeling?"
She was flirting with the man in the wheelchair, who didn't look that old, but had a stutter to his movements and a dazed look in his eyes.
"Sammy Davis, Jr., my love. "I've Gotta Be Me," he said, lips shaking.
"Good choice. Mixing it up. I like when you keep me on my toes." Bella wheeled him to the front of the room and handed him the microphone before selecting his track. He watched the screen on the table and began to sing in vibrato.
"He sings the same songs every time," Bella whispered next to me. "But he's my most active participant, so I don't mind."
I grinned down at her even though she couldn't see me. I loved that she did this. I loved knowing that she did this. I fucking loved seeing a slice of her life. She was still my Bluebell, but different.
I glanced up and caught Alice watching. I didn't miss the look she shot me. You're not someone's brother for thirty some odd years without catching shit like that. I looked away, Carlisle and Esme were slow dancing in a circle to my left. Their feet moved slowly, shuffling on the linoleum. They looked right at home.
Bella shifted away from me and busied herself queuing up the requests. I took a seat in the crowd to go incognito, and found I rather liked watching her from here. She moved her hips to the music and sang when she thought no one was watching.
She looked better than I remembered. Her hair was different, shinier, and her cheeks were full and pink. The sweater she was wearing put the curve of her tits on full display, and my palms itched to feel them again.
I was imagining her naked in a room of senior citizens and my parents. I hadn't felt like such a sick fuck since I wacked off to her on a public beach.
When his song ended, Mr. Banner wheeled himself to the tables, and Jasper helped a woman with a walker to the front, and got sweetened into singing with her. They did a hysterical duet of Connie Francis' "Who's Sorry Now," including Jasper spinning her around, walker and all.
Every single member of my family took their turn serenading the group, but I liked to think my rendition of "Walk the Line," won them over. I was sure she liked it. Her hand stayed over her mouth to hide her smile.
Esme watched…
Mr. Banner rolled up for another round and begged her for a duet. After much prodding, she agreed, and it was my turn to conceal my shit eating grin. Watching her stumble through the words and laugh off her own mistakes, I knew that this couldn't be it. This couldn't be all the Bella I would get.
"Alice is getting tired. Are you just about ready, bro?" Jasper said, leaning over from the row of chairs behind me.
I turned my head to look at him and shook my head, just once, with pleading eyes.
"Fuck Edward, fuck. What the hell do you expect me to say?"
"I just want to take her to dinner or coffee, to talk. That's all. I told you she sent me her book. I want to know if it's ready. I'm trying to convince her that you're the guy to send it to. I'm doing you a favor."
Jasper let out a groan that covered a laugh. "Oh, so that's how you're going to spin it. Whatever. I'm not going to lie for you."
"Who's asking for a lie? I'm texting Rose that I ran into a writer I know, and we're going to catch up. That's the truth."
"Whatever, man. But you tell Alice." He leaned back in his chair and threaded his fingers behind his head.
The devil herself came over with her coat and her purse, and waited for us to stand. She looked at Jasper who stood, and then at me, who didn't.
"Edward? Let's go."
"I think I'm going to stick around for a bit."
She scrunched up her face and cocked her head. "But you don't have a car."
"I'll catch a ride." I bounced my leg and looked around. Play it cool, Edward. Don't act as desperate as you are.
"You'll. Catch. A. Ride," Alice repeated.
"Yeah, no problem. I texted Rose," I responded, waving my phone around.
"Glad to know you thought to clear it with her first. Come on Jasper, let's get out of here."
Jasper said goodbye to Bella, as did my parents. Even Heidi gave a polite wave. Bella watched them leave, and looked back and forth from the group to me. I rubbed the back of my neck and smiled.
"Are there any more requests?" she asked from the front. "Or are you about done?"
"Sing us something sweetie," called out a feeble woman in a wheelchair at the back.
"Oh, I don't know," Bella said. "I hate singing alone, you know that. Anyone willing to get up here with me?"
Oh, she was in trouble now. She should have known better than to ask. I stood up, yanked on the waist of my drooping jeans and raised my hand. She bit her lip and scoffed at me, but smiled. Fuck did she smile.
"Alright, get up here."
I'm pretty sure I did what could be described as a jig all the way to the front. "I know just the song I want to sing," I said softly as I got closer to her. I could reach out and touch her if I wanted. No one would see.
"Oh no. You volunteered to sing with me, not the other way around. I've got just the song for you."
She bent over, pushing that perfect ass in the air as she fiddled with the controls. She handed me a mic and pointed at the screen.
In a Town This Size, by John Prine. Duly noted.
I shook my head and chewed my cheek, waiting for the lyrics to come on. I was up first. We sang the words she meant as advice, to a rounding sound of applause at the end. Her point was taken, but I didn't give two shits. When the residents were wheeled away for bed, I took my shot.
"Let me take you to dinner," I said into her ear. I could feel her hairs on my face and my whole being flexed at her nearness.
"Were you not listening to the song, Edward?"
She didn't turn around, but she shook her head so her hair moved across my face. It was a good thing my hands were in my pockets or else they'd be all over her. Geezers be damned.
"It's just dinner, Bluebell. In public. With people watching. What's the harm in that?"
She paused, her hands still in the air. "I should say no, but I really don't want to. Every good reason I have to turn you down just fell out my ears."
My grin was damn near ready to break my face.
"Good girl, get your shit, let's blow."
Making our way to the front door, Bella called out to the girl at the front desk. "Bye Lauren, see you in two weeks."
She pushed open the door for me with her hip, and said in a loud voice, "Thank you so much for sticking around to carry this out for me. Really helpful, Mr. Cullen."
The door closed in a swish behind us, taking the warm air and the audience with it.
"Nice Bluebell, real subtle."
"I had to try and cover my bases at least." She lifted her arms over the side of the truck and set down the equipment, I did the same and then jogged in place next to her passenger side door.
"You seriously stayed without a ride. What if I had said no?"
"I took my chances. Besides, you stopped saying no to me a long time ago."
Bella looked around the back of the cab and glared at me. "Get in," she said, before unlocking her door and reaching across to do mine.
The door howled as I opened it. My body shook on the seat while she started the engine and turned up the heat. How anyone ever lived in this fucking cold, I'd never know.
Bella turned on the radio and backed out of the deserted parking lot, and onto the highway. Within minutes we'd passed every restaurant in town, but were still ambling on.
"Um, where are we going?" I asked after awhile.
"I wasn't kidding about the song. I agreed to dinner but not in this town. No way in hell we could go to dinner here." She pressed the gas and the old truck grumbled but complied.
I put my arm along the back of the seat and let my fingers work through her hair, coiling the strands around my hand. I didn't fucking dare touch her skin.
"I can't believe you're here," she said. "It feels surreal. I'm sure I'm going to wake up needing to pee, and looking for my glass of water."
"I assure you I'm real. Completely real, and breaking all the rules."
She snorted. For the love of god, she snorted. I couldn't get enough of this girl.
"That's true. It's so strange going from nothing to, to this."
"I hope you're not pissed I didn't tell you. I figured you'd be gone, I could get in and get out, and you'd be none the wiser."
"I kind of like how it worked out," she said, dipping her eyelashes down low. "Sort of like fate, you know? I've got a free night, you're here alone…"
"I'm not totally alone, I have to be honest. Rose is here. She just didn't come to the home."
"Oh shit. How are you getting around that?"
"Eh, I'll figure it out later. I just couldn't miss the chance to see you again. She'll be cool."
Her smile was sadder than it had been a minute ago and I knew she was worried for me. If I stopped and thought about it long enough, I was worried too. The last thing Rose needed was this.
"How are you, Bluebell? How's life?"
"Actually? Not half bad."
"Yeah?" I said and scolded myself for the disappointment I felt. You want her to be happy, dumb fuck, remember?
"Yeah. I mean, I'm polishing the book to get ready to query, and I got a part time gig at the library because one of the clerk's retired."
"Really? That's awesome. And your book, god Bella, was it evident enough how much I loved it?"
"Just a bit," she said, glancing at me. "Are you sure you weren't laying it on thick because you felt guilty about being real with me on the other one?"
"I was real with you on both of them. It was amazing. I could not put it down. Your characters, fuck, they were insane. I loved and hated each one in turn. You have a knack for writing the human condition. I, literally, cannot wait for it to be published. Without a doubt, I'll be saying, I knew you when."
"Oh, come on," she said, laughing and swatting at me with her mittened hand.
"I mean it. I was in awe. And I fully intend on telling the world I discovered you."
She flashed me her teeth and I saw that crinkle of the nose I loved so much.
"We're here. Let's get our eat on," she said as she parked along the main street in Port Angeles.
I let her lead me to the door of a small Italian restaurant, but shooed away her arm when it went for the door. This wasn't a date. I knew that, obviously, but I was still going to treat her like it was.
A quiet table in the back is where we found ourselves, stripped of our jackets and chewing on crusty bread soaked in olive oil. I ordered a bottle of wine and poured liberally. I noticed the way the candles lit her eyes and how her lips shined from the wine. Every time she took a sip, she stuck her tongue out to lick every drop from them. I'd give my right nut to be that tongue right now.
"So tell me what else, besides writing the next best seller and shelving books, what have you been up to?" I asked between mouthfuls of bread and wine.
"Mostly that. I've been a little behind on shit since I had this fucking cough all summer, that I've finally seemed to kick. Third round of antibiotics did the trick. The girls are in preschool, which has been amazing. Seriously. I feel like a bad mother for saying it, but I like them more now that I get a break from them. I have the energy to actually want to play with them."
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I said and laughed.
"Yeah it does," she answered. No laugh.
She held my gaze for a moment and then reached for her wine. "But anyway, I won a short story contest in a literary journal, I don't know if you saw that."
"I did. I was astounded but not surprised. I'm not the only one that can recognize talent."
We both reached for the bread and our fingertips nearly touched, but didn't. She pulled away first.
"Thank you, I am proud of myself, you know? I put it out there, I took a chance and I won. Best part was, Jake insisted the prize money was mine, and my paychecks too. I opened my own account at the bank. I have my own damn money. I mean, the money he earned always belonged to both of us, but there's a difference in actually earning it yourself."
"That's great, Bella. Fucking fantastic."
"I know, right?"
She beamed. She literally brightened the room from her glow.
"I finally feel like I'm getting my butt tied on. I don't have all the answers, but at least I'm picking my feet up and moving," she said, going on.
I tried to decipher what that meant about Jake. I figured it'd be better to ask the questions that had nagged me since Eric's return from the land of Forks.
"So, how are you and…"
"Oh, the same. There's no miracle cure for that fuckery. Though, it has been interesting since Leah got a boyfriend."
"She did? Oh man. What's up with that?"
"Well, I don't really know. Emily mentioned that she was seeing someone and then it clicked how much more attentive Jake was being. How he was home a little more, the way he told me to keep the prize and my paychecks, even though I know we're not rolling in money. He's just been weirdly giving."
"Maybe he feels guilty," I said, hoping she didn't.
"Maybe, I don't know. I try not to think about it much. Leah having or not having someone else, hasn't changed everything. He might be around more, but save one walk down memory lane, he's not…fuck. Nevermind, this is weird."
I knew where she was going with that. It was weird. But it was us.
"We're weird, Bella. So be it. But I catch your drift. It's not like her moving on has been some magical cure for you guys."
"Nope, not at all. In fact, in some ways it irritates me. I feel like shit for thinking it, but I felt less guilty when he had someone. Now I feel like the adulterer and I hate that."
Her shoulders dropped a little and my heart squeezed in my chest.
"I'm not going to pretend we're not, but he is too," I said.
"It is what it is," she said, raising her hands and dropping them again.
"It is what it is."
"Enough about me. My life bores me, no need to bore you too. What's going on with you? I've seen the press on the book, the reviews are stellar. And a movie? Talk about knowing you when. Though I didn't really," she said and laughed.
"Well you've pretty much heard it all then. I spent all summer in a torpedo of Vampires After Midnight shit."
"That can't be all that's going on. Eric said you bought a new house? Tell me about that."
I cringed. I hated to think what Eric might have told her. To Eric, Rose and I were fucking Barbie and Ken, perfection in matching boxes. He not only idolized Rose, but he idolized us. There was no doubt in my mind that he gave Bella his skewed perception of it all.
"I did. I wanted a little more privacy. And Rose, well, she agreed because of some shit going on, but as it turns out she's not living there as much as I am. It's confusing as fuck."
Bella's eyebrows knitted as she tilted her head. "Why? What's going on? Are you guys okay?"
I scratched my head and grimaced again. "Are you sure it's cool to talk about this? I mean, we could talk about something else. Alice is pregnant, so that's pretty great."
"That is great! Congratulations, Uncle. But, yeah it's cool. Lay it on me." She tapped her chest like she was a thug calling me to battle, and we both laughed.
"Okay, so this summer, right before I left for the press stuff, Rose gets a letter. It was from a district attorney in New York. They want her to testify against her rapist."
"Oh my god. Oh my god. But, hasn't it been too long? What about the contract?"
"Well, he hasn't been charged for what happened to her. The statue of limitations on that has long since passed. They want her testimony to establish a pattern of behavior. That cocksucking asshole finally crossed the path of someone who wasn't willing to take his pay off. And they are arguing the contract her dad signed doesn't apply to her. She was a minor then, she's not now and she never entered into any contract with him. "
"Oh god. I know I keep saying that, but really, what else can you say? How did they even find her? Or know how to...?"
"He kept photographic souvenirs. Some with names. They tracked her down."
"Poor Rose. And she's going to do it? After all these years?" Bella shook her head.
"She wants to do it. As much as it fucking kills her, she wants to. There was no discussion of telling the D.A. no. She's said since the day she got that letter, that if her testimony helps strengthen their case, it's worth it. I think that's haunted her the most. The lack of control, because she had no say in what happened to her, what happened after, any of it. It's made her sick to think that he was out there doing this to other girls."
"Wow. Well I get that, it's empowering, in a way. But, man, she must have balls of steel."
"She does. I tell her all the time how fucking proud I am of her. I think this is going to be huge for her."
"Do you worry about...?"
"It breaking her? Every god damn day. But what I hope for, is that it only makes her stronger. That she'll get closure on all this. That's what was missing for her. If she can't get closure, maybe she can-"
"Be whole."
"Exactly," I said.
Our plates were being cleared and Bella leaned forward on the table to rest her chin in her hands.
"So, when is all this going down?" she asked.
"January. She's met with them a few times to prepare already. But the big day is middle of the month sometime. We'll know exactly as we get closer."
"Well, good luck. I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts."
She said it with such warmth and sincerity, I knew she meant it. No other woman on Earth could be that good.
"You're fucking amazing, Bella."
"What? Why?"
"Because. You just are. How you are about all this. It's amazing."
"I'd be the biggest bitch in the world not to feel bad for Rose right now. It doesn't matter that she's with you instead of me, I wouldn't wish what she's going through on anyone. Ever."
"I've missed you," I said without thinking.
Her cheeks flushed at my words. "I've missed you too." It was barely a whisper.
"Will there be anything else?" The waitress asked as she set down the bill.
I shook my head and handed her my credit card. I wished I would have thought to eat slower.
As if she read my thoughts, Bella frowned and looked around. She glanced at her watch and back to me.
"I guess we should go," I said.
"I guess we should."
We were silent as we put on our coats and walked back to the truck. We weren't used to our time together being so brief. She would drive me home and that would be that. There would be no tomorrow for us today.
I heard her shuffle for her keys as we grew nearer and grabbed her arm to stop her. She wouldn't look at me.
"So, I mean is it okay to take you to your house? I meant, that's where you want to go, right? But are you going to get a lot of questions, or..."
"Bella, we've done nothing wrong here. We're friends who had dinner. You can drive me right up to my front door. No need to drop me off thirty paces from the driveway."
Her laugh sounded almost like a cry. She still would not look at me. I put an end to that bullshit, and the stalemate we had on skin to skin contact. I reached out and touched her.
As soon as my cold finger hit her cheek I felt her run through my veins, as though I'd just pierced her skin with mine. She glanced to me, biting her lip, but all the tension rippled from her body.
"I know we're not wrong, Edward. Nothing that feels this right, could be wrong."
I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to push her inside the musty cab of her truck, and tear her clothes from her body so I could actually be inside her. I wanted to do all the things that I knew would make this wrong. So, I had to settle for keeping it right.
My finger continued to follow the line of her cheek as I bent down to bring my mouth to hers. I stopped just above her, and my lips told her all the things I wanted to say, but couldn't. I knew hers listened because when we finally ended the distance, we both only paused as we met, and then parted again.
"Goodbye Bluebell, parting is such sweet sorrow."
Her eyes closed and one single tear squeezed out and fell to my fingertip.
"That I shall say goodnight till it be March," she whispered.
"That doesn't rhyme," I said swallowing back the catch in my voice.
"We're writers, we make our own rules."
Her eyes opened and she stepped away from my touch.
"We're Edward and Bella, we make our own rules," I answered.
She smiled softly and turned her face up to the blue moon that shone above us. I watched the light paint her silver and knew that there would never, in my life, be another Bella.
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love to sing karaoke with Edward~~
Hey y'all! Just found out from the awesome venis_envy that Tangled Up in Blue was nominated in the Hidden Star Awards for Best All Human and Best Kiss! Y'all are seriously awesome getting this story recognized. If you're interested in voting, it begins September 20th at http(:)(/)(/)thehiddenstarawards(.)blogspot(.)com(/)
Voting is also now open for the Twilight All Human Awards and Tangled Up In Blue is up for Fic You Could Not Stop Reading www(.)twilightallhumanawards(.)webs(.)com
No comments:
Post a Comment