Sorry this chapter is taking a while, my kiddo has been sick and it's been hell 'round here. Here's a little tease in the meantime...
I opened both bottles and handed one across the table to her as the lights flickered. “What the hell?”
“You didn’t hear?” she asked. “There’s supposed to be thunderstorm tonight.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I fumed and took a swallow of beer.
“Um we’re you planning on putting an antenna on the roof or something?”
“What? No. I thought it’d be cool to go walk the beach later or something,” I said in a jumble and shoved a piece of pizza in my mouth.
“Hmm. Romantic dinner for two, moonlit walk on the beach...are you trying to woo me, Edward?
“Ha! Pizza and beer hardly qualifies as romantic right? And yeah, maybe I am trying to ‘woo’ you.”
“I’ve already been wooed if that wasn’t apparent. Your wooing has done me over.”
“You’ve been woo-ified?”
:)
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
TUiB:20- The Echo (Maybe Tonight)
The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.
KatieTv, Sugartits and kstewfangirl, I don't want to live in a world where y'all don't exist. In fact, I love you so much I'm finally ponying up and getting the regular CPU fixed so we an skype. I accept y'all to get drunk and saucy, you hear? Lots of love to agirlreckoning who's doing some great comma patroling as a beta now. Thanks for being so smart and so fast!
I had some really sweet authors rec me this week which made my alerts and review count SOAR. Thank you spanglemaker9 and greeneyedgirl17! So if you didn't come from them already go check out their stories and leave them love too! And if you rec'd me and I didn't know about it, tell me! I'd love to thank you properly!
I remember your kiss like TNT
How it rattled every long gone part of me
And in the heat of the night you shook when you said my name
And the precious drop of sweat running down your back
Like a southbound train burning down the track
Two martyrs in a world that would never be the same
~~ Bleu Edmondson, The Echo (Maybe Tonight)
~~BPOV~~
I peered into the darkness as a sweeping spotlight blinded me. The smoke machine hummed from the corner softly exhaling a thick fog across the floor. I tugged the bottom of the shorts that were barely covering my ass and felt silly and sexy at the same time. Teetering a little on the high red heels, my hand went to my hair where I pushed a loosening pin back into the curls.
The music changed from a peppy beat to a slow languid ballad. He came across the floor and the fog rolled away like he was parting the Red Sea. The light flashed across me again and his smile grew as he saw me. His eye touch started at my feet and I crossed and recrossed them as it swept up my legs higher and higher until it found the hem of the gingham romper.
I licked my lips tasting the wax of the thick red lipstick. I gave my teeth a sweep before smiling back at him as the eyes finally came to my face.
There it was. The look. The eyes that begged and pleaded. The smiling mouth that was ever so slightly contorted in pain. The need that radiated from his body. The thoughts written on his face that said he wanted to lay me down in the fog and disappear from everyone.
I'd gotten exactly what I wanted. I was the snake coiled in the tree beckoning Eve to climb my branches. I'd shined the apple to a hypnotizing glow. He was transfixed, mesmerized, and moving faster. I dazzled him.
I knew then I would give him what he wanted, what I wanted. What we'd both wanted for so long. There was no sense in denial. Tonight was our surrender.
I took a few steps back as he got closer until I was no longer in the spotlight's path. His fingers pressed into my hips as he moved me further. He panted at my neck, his chest heaving.
"We need to get out of here. Immediately." It came out in a growl.
"We can't just leave. We're getting a reputation as the dine and dashers."
"I didn't dine. So I'm just dashing. Come on."
His hand smoothed up my inner thigh and stopped just beneath my shorts daring me to say no again.
"I suppose I did put in enough of an appearance. I even danced with Garrett and Benny."
He nodded, encouraging me. "That's right. It's time to the get the fuck out of the malt shop." We stepped back again.
He pressed me against a patio door in a dark forgotten corner of the room. His hand was on my thigh and mine was searching for the door handle behind us. He let his thumb sneak higher to snake the edge of me and my knees knocked together. His other arm went above my head as he leaned in, nudging my nose with his and stealing a kiss.
Even though I could hear the other hundred people in the room, could feel their sweat in the air as they danced, I didn't care if they could see us or not. I stopped my futile search and brought my arms around his neck. There was a fire in his mouth from the Jack he'd undoubtedly been drinking and the desire I was shamelessly stoking. I felt a burn spread across my stomach and drop between my legs to sizzle at his thumb. The world fell beneath me as he opened the door and we stumbled into the night.
He caught me as I began to fall, tripping myself, and he dipped in to kiss me again as he held me in the air. We moved by mouth up the road and back to his cabin. We were at the door before I could recall ever taking a step there.
His hands were in my hair as he opened the door and we crashed into the table next to the couch. I pulled his shirt from his pants to press my hands against his skin and he ripped it off over his head. I squeaked as his lips went to the hollow of my neck. He lapped at the negative space as though he was drinking nectar from an invisible pool.
We knocked over a lamp and then a chair as we made our way in the dark to the bed. We took comfort in the familiar stability of the wall and he pinned me there sucking my neck and fighting to get his hands beneath my clothes.
"What the fuck is this? How do I get into it? Or you out of it?" He grumbled while pulling at the top which lifted the bottoms. He yanked at the legs and it moved the top against my shoulders . "Fucking booby trap. Literally."
He held me against the wall breaking our kiss to survey the puzzle before him. My lipstick was on his mouth and his hair had broken free of the finely combed pompadour to hang in his eyes. The muscles of his chest flexed as he breathed and I watched his tattoos stretch and shrink.
"There's buttons," I said as I kicked off my shoes with him and reached up to unpin my hair. It fell down my back and he struggled with the row of buttons down my front.
"Fuck me. Fucking buttons. Is it a favorite or anything?" He gritted his teeth as his eyes flashed.
"What? No. I bought it for tonight. I won't wear it again."
His teeth nipped my neck at the words he wanted to hear. His hands gripped the top as he tore it from me letting the aggravating buttons fly across the room. I heard one ping against the steel of the sink and others fall flat on the wood floor.
It slid off my hips to land at my feet and he growled again, this time at the bra in front of him. He took the center in his mouth and let go, snapping it against me. I contorted my arm to unhook the back and shook it to the floor. He stared at the bareness of my chest without moving, without touching. Nerves flushed my body as I wondered if they were big enough, perky enough, enticing enough. I fingered the edge of the blue lace of my panties as he slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me to him.
He pressed my flesh against him and I shivered as the vast landscapes of our skin met wholly for the first time. He shifted slightly to rub himself against me, his hand trailing the ridges of my spine to the sway of my back.
We spun towards the bed refusing to lose the contact we had denied for so long, and fell back against it. We laid side by side, kissing, touching, exploring. He took my nipple in his mouth as he moved my panties aside to call out the heat burning from my core. My hand wrapped around him and I was startled by the hardness that could surely burst through such a thin layer of strained skin.
He pushed away from me to stand at the edge of the bed, asked with his eyes, and then pulled down the shorts that were separating us. He sprang forth from them and he took himself in his hand, stroking, while appraising my body before him.
I glowed back at him and nodded when his eyes asked again and his free hand hooked around the last shred of cover I had. He pulled them off in a flourish and they dropped to the ground.
I ignored the little voices desperately begging me to hide the imperfections, worrying about my lack of experience or number of lovers, and a wildly high-pitched one, scared he was a complete freak who'd make me run for my cabin in fear.
Instead I focused on his hands working my body, his mouth determined to cover every inch of my skin, his dick hard as fuck and rubbing against my thigh. I knew that more than anything I wanted him inside me, right now.
His mouth found mine again and we both shook under the force of our tongues. His fingers slipped inside me, curling around the wetness and pushing me closer and closer to the edge. He felt me tighten and release, pushing away again.
"Bella, open your eyes. Look at me. You have to tell me you want it. Please tell me." His hand pressed against my heart from where he knelt next to me.
I sat up to kiss him feeling his fear melt in my mouth. "I want you. I want you inside me. Please."
He rolled over to perch against the headboard while his hand darted to the nightstand. I knew what he was after and chided myself for not remembering to think of it. Not that I'd let it happen without it but, shit, I could have been more prepared.
His arm went to me after he was through and I crawled over to him sitting on my knees between his legs. I leaned in, letting my breasts brush across his head and it pulsed into me sliding down my stomach to press against my heat as we kissed. I lifted my knee to go over his leg and drew in his erection like a magnet to my now open center.
I gasped and shuddered at the feel of him so near and he pushed my other leg over his. Long arms traveled my back to lift me up gently. He held me, suspended slightly in the air and gave me one last chance to change my mind. I stretched my hand to him and gripped his dick firmly before pushing the head past my lips and into my entrance.
His mouth dropped as he groaned and I quivered against him. He hooked both his hands on the top of my shoulders from the back and drew me down, slowly, so I could appreciate every inch filling me. When the last bit of space closed between us I cried out and shook as I called his name. My knees dug into the bed desperate for something to ground me to the earth, to him. He tightened his grip, crushing our chests against each other and feeling our hearts match the rhythm of our thrusts.
We didn't talk, we didn't kiss. We just stared at each other smiling like fools and whimpering in whispers. I felt the wave rise across me and he grunted as I clutched him and began to tremble. His face tightened and he bit down on his lip before moaning a matching Bluebell to my Edward. We pulsed together in heat and sweat, rocking on the bed before collapsing against the pillows. The cabin shuddered and came to a still.
He kissed my heart and I clamped down on him as he went to move away.
"Please, not yet. Please let me feel you fill me for a little while longer."
His hands pushed the hair from my face and pulled me back to him. Though he wasn't as hard as he was a moment ago, having him there was better than not. I ached at the thought of separating and returning from one to two.
We rolled to the side, my leg hitching over his hip beneath him and he took my hand to his pounding heart and our foreheads stuck together. Our breaths met in the space between us, refusing to the let even the air be empty of our pairing. We exhaled in unison and laughed as he kissed me softly and with meaning.
I stared into his eyes afraid of what I'd say or what I wouldn't, until they grew heavy and we both drifted to sleep and broke from each other.
I woke to the grey of early morning light. Edward was smiling at me and our legs and hands were still weaved together showing that neither of us moved all night.
"Good morning," he whispered.
"Good morning," I answered.
"So. You're here. That wasn't a dream."
"Not a dream."
"Better than a dream," he said with sleepy eyes and pulled me in closer.
"Much."
"Better than anything," he murmured brushing his lips across mine.
"Oh how you flatter. No need to blow smoke up my ass."
He pulled back and knitted his brow. "Excuse me? I don't do that shit. I'm not bullshitting when I tell you that was, hands down, the best sex I've ever had. I can't even compare. That wasn't even sex. That was..."
"Shhh, Edward, I was kidding. It was better than anything. And you're right. As much as I wanted to...do that, to have sex...I didn't expect..." I paused searching for my words, as was he.
"You didn't expect to see it all? Being inside you, I could see all pasts, all presents, all futures. Like one big tapestry before me. I swore I could hear your thoughts, feel you inside me. I didn't expect the...the connection. Like we'd done that a thousand times before. In another life, another time."
He heaved with the exertion of his words and I understood just how heavy they were. He told me what I wondered, what was missing from his life with Rose. I pushed my hand into his hair and kissed him. I needed to ask. I needed to know.
"It's not like that with Rose?"
Edward frowned and shook his head. "No, not like that. Rose and I, we fit in a lot of ways but she, she's not connected to anything it seems."
"Why not?"
"Because of what happened to her. She literally can not trust. And you can't have something like that, what we just had, without trust."
"Edward, what happened to her?"
"We don't have to talk about this, Bella. Not if it feels weird or wrong or whatever to you."
I waited while I searched myself for the name of what I felt. I wasn't jealous of Rose, oddly enough. It didn't feel weird to talk about her. She was a part of Edward's life like anything else and I wanted to know, understand that part of him. More than anything, I worried for her.
"It's not weird. It's part of who you are."
Edward rolled to his back taking my hand with him. He stared at the ceiling before going for a cigarette on the nightstand, lit it and took a long drag.
"Before I met Rose for the first time at boarding school, she lived in New York with her family. Her dad was one of those obsessed social climbers. He had the whole family acting like they belonged with the upper crust, buying flashy shit and expensive cars. Rose was a daddy's girl to a "t". She had no idea that the life he created for them was holding on by a long thread of debt.
Well, I don't know what the fuck happened but he was about to lose it all. Foreclosure, cars repo-ed, the whole shebang, right when he was about to land a new client, a hundred year old cosmetics conglomerate. Rose said he was ape shit bonanza about the whole thing, desperate to make the sale. He kept telling her that they were finally getting what they always wanted when Rose thought they already had it.
So anways, this big fat cat dude is getting wined and dined by her dad when his son strikes a fancy on Rose. Daddy tells Rose to go out with him despite her protests and she ends up drugged, raped and violated in the fucking sickest ways imaginable."
The bed tilted and turned as the room spun and I closed my eyes. "Oh my God. How old was she?"
"Fourteen," Edward said in an exhale of smoke. "He was in his twenties. Sick fuck. She was a virgin. Beautiful like she is today, looked older, but that cocksucker knew she was fourteen."
"What happened?"
"She went to her dad who took her to a doctor. He checked her over, took pictures and gave her meds that made her pass out for days. When she woke up her family was millions upon millions of dollars richer and she was told to never speak of it again."
"What? They didn't call the cops? They accepted some kind of pay off?"
"Yep. And promptly shipped Rose off to boarding school where she was fucking everything that walked by and slicing into her arms trying to seep out her pain. Until I found her and they stuffed her in the mental ward."
"Oh my God. Poor Rose. No wonder, I mean she has to be really messed up from that."
"You haven't heard the worst part."
"It gets worse than that?" I shook my head in disbelief.
"Yeah a lot worse. After she got out of the hospital she went back home to finish high school and shit. She found out that the child fucker had a list of payoffs a mile long that started long before her and kept going strong after. Everybody knew about it. Everybody. Especially her father."
"No. Oh no. You're saying he set her up?"
"More like he set him up with Rose as the bait."
"That's disgusting! That's horrible! Who would do such a thing?"
"I know. If the fucker wasn't dead to me already I'd kill him myself."
"Dead to you? I thought you spent holidays with her family in New York."
"Her brother only. They both excommunicated from the family when Rose figured out what her dad did. He's significantly older than her, never even knew what happened in the first place. He put her in counseling, through college, back on her feet somewhat. But I just don't think you can ever fully heal from something like that."
"You really love her," I said without resentment.
"I do. Even though I know that she probably doesn't love me back. She sort of does, maybe, in her own way. She loves me for what I am, not who."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm safety, stability, a safe place to land. I know how fucked up she is and I don't judge. She doesn't like to be alone. I'm one of her people. But I've never felt like she belonged to me. I don't know. Don't get me wrong I'm not a possessive fuck but still..."
"What?"
"Okay, listen to this whole thing. Okay? Rose and I, we have an open relationship. Look at me Bella, I've never ever used it. It was her idea and I never really liked it. She brought it up when we first got together. She told me sex was like air to her and without it she suffocated. And when she suffocated she cut or got high. And I'm not talking smoke-a-doobie high, I'm talking see-you-in-three-days-when-you-come-down high. So she said that when we're more than a hundred miles from home it's like we don't exist."
"Oh fuck, Edward-"
"You weren't listening Bella. I've never done it. Ever. Sex is like air to me too. I couldn't live without it, but I do not want to go around and stick my dick in random holes. All I wanted was to be enough for her."
"So she...?"
"We don't talk about it but I don't know. We both get tested for shit regularly, use condoms and all. I don't think she does, but again, I don't know. Part of me is like you, I don't want to know. I accepted her the way she was, warts and all and hoped that my love would one day be enough."
"But how can you go on like that? What about when you're married? And have kids?"
"No. We're not. Um, she can't because of what happened and we don't want to. We like our lives adult-centered. No offense."
"None taken. I get it. Parenthood's not for everyone. Better to know that than have kids you resent or ignore."
"Yeah I guess," he said, shrugging and lighting another cigarette. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and sighed. "Fuck, how'd we get on this? This wasn't exactly how I envisioned the morning after."
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into another infamous bear hug. I settled into him, letting my cheek lie against his chest. I know he felt bad for laying that on me but I asked. After all he'd done for me, the sorrows I bore, I wanted to do the same for him.
"I wanted to know. I wanted to know because you are right. We didn't just have sex last night. We traded our souls. You already knew what I was lacking and you gave. I wanted to give for you."
His hands gripped my face as he stared into my eyes. "Bella Swan you have already given me so much. I can't take any more from you. It wouldn't be right."
"But I can't truly give you all of me." My words were air against his lips.
"Neither can I. But I hope what we can give is enough. For now."
"It's more than enough," I answered as our mouths closed on each other again and we reached for the places that would join us once more.
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love Edward to be the greaser to your pinup!~~
Wanted to remind y'all to come follow me on Twitter! I post teasers and love chit chatting with readers, so come on over! Just look for TxBirdie, I'm the only one :)
KatieTv, Sugartits and kstewfangirl, I don't want to live in a world where y'all don't exist. In fact, I love you so much I'm finally ponying up and getting the regular CPU fixed so we an skype. I accept y'all to get drunk and saucy, you hear? Lots of love to agirlreckoning who's doing some great comma patroling as a beta now. Thanks for being so smart and so fast!
I had some really sweet authors rec me this week which made my alerts and review count SOAR. Thank you spanglemaker9 and greeneyedgirl17! So if you didn't come from them already go check out their stories and leave them love too! And if you rec'd me and I didn't know about it, tell me! I'd love to thank you properly!
~~~~~~~
I remember your kiss like TNT
How it rattled every long gone part of me
And in the heat of the night you shook when you said my name
And the precious drop of sweat running down your back
Like a southbound train burning down the track
Two martyrs in a world that would never be the same
~~ Bleu Edmondson, The Echo (Maybe Tonight)
~~~~~~~
~~BPOV~~
I peered into the darkness as a sweeping spotlight blinded me. The smoke machine hummed from the corner softly exhaling a thick fog across the floor. I tugged the bottom of the shorts that were barely covering my ass and felt silly and sexy at the same time. Teetering a little on the high red heels, my hand went to my hair where I pushed a loosening pin back into the curls.
The music changed from a peppy beat to a slow languid ballad. He came across the floor and the fog rolled away like he was parting the Red Sea. The light flashed across me again and his smile grew as he saw me. His eye touch started at my feet and I crossed and recrossed them as it swept up my legs higher and higher until it found the hem of the gingham romper.
I licked my lips tasting the wax of the thick red lipstick. I gave my teeth a sweep before smiling back at him as the eyes finally came to my face.
There it was. The look. The eyes that begged and pleaded. The smiling mouth that was ever so slightly contorted in pain. The need that radiated from his body. The thoughts written on his face that said he wanted to lay me down in the fog and disappear from everyone.
I'd gotten exactly what I wanted. I was the snake coiled in the tree beckoning Eve to climb my branches. I'd shined the apple to a hypnotizing glow. He was transfixed, mesmerized, and moving faster. I dazzled him.
I knew then I would give him what he wanted, what I wanted. What we'd both wanted for so long. There was no sense in denial. Tonight was our surrender.
I took a few steps back as he got closer until I was no longer in the spotlight's path. His fingers pressed into my hips as he moved me further. He panted at my neck, his chest heaving.
"We need to get out of here. Immediately." It came out in a growl.
"We can't just leave. We're getting a reputation as the dine and dashers."
"I didn't dine. So I'm just dashing. Come on."
His hand smoothed up my inner thigh and stopped just beneath my shorts daring me to say no again.
"I suppose I did put in enough of an appearance. I even danced with Garrett and Benny."
He nodded, encouraging me. "That's right. It's time to the get the fuck out of the malt shop." We stepped back again.
He pressed me against a patio door in a dark forgotten corner of the room. His hand was on my thigh and mine was searching for the door handle behind us. He let his thumb sneak higher to snake the edge of me and my knees knocked together. His other arm went above my head as he leaned in, nudging my nose with his and stealing a kiss.
Even though I could hear the other hundred people in the room, could feel their sweat in the air as they danced, I didn't care if they could see us or not. I stopped my futile search and brought my arms around his neck. There was a fire in his mouth from the Jack he'd undoubtedly been drinking and the desire I was shamelessly stoking. I felt a burn spread across my stomach and drop between my legs to sizzle at his thumb. The world fell beneath me as he opened the door and we stumbled into the night.
He caught me as I began to fall, tripping myself, and he dipped in to kiss me again as he held me in the air. We moved by mouth up the road and back to his cabin. We were at the door before I could recall ever taking a step there.
His hands were in my hair as he opened the door and we crashed into the table next to the couch. I pulled his shirt from his pants to press my hands against his skin and he ripped it off over his head. I squeaked as his lips went to the hollow of my neck. He lapped at the negative space as though he was drinking nectar from an invisible pool.
We knocked over a lamp and then a chair as we made our way in the dark to the bed. We took comfort in the familiar stability of the wall and he pinned me there sucking my neck and fighting to get his hands beneath my clothes.
"What the fuck is this? How do I get into it? Or you out of it?" He grumbled while pulling at the top which lifted the bottoms. He yanked at the legs and it moved the top against my shoulders . "Fucking booby trap. Literally."
He held me against the wall breaking our kiss to survey the puzzle before him. My lipstick was on his mouth and his hair had broken free of the finely combed pompadour to hang in his eyes. The muscles of his chest flexed as he breathed and I watched his tattoos stretch and shrink.
"There's buttons," I said as I kicked off my shoes with him and reached up to unpin my hair. It fell down my back and he struggled with the row of buttons down my front.
"Fuck me. Fucking buttons. Is it a favorite or anything?" He gritted his teeth as his eyes flashed.
"What? No. I bought it for tonight. I won't wear it again."
His teeth nipped my neck at the words he wanted to hear. His hands gripped the top as he tore it from me letting the aggravating buttons fly across the room. I heard one ping against the steel of the sink and others fall flat on the wood floor.
It slid off my hips to land at my feet and he growled again, this time at the bra in front of him. He took the center in his mouth and let go, snapping it against me. I contorted my arm to unhook the back and shook it to the floor. He stared at the bareness of my chest without moving, without touching. Nerves flushed my body as I wondered if they were big enough, perky enough, enticing enough. I fingered the edge of the blue lace of my panties as he slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me to him.
He pressed my flesh against him and I shivered as the vast landscapes of our skin met wholly for the first time. He shifted slightly to rub himself against me, his hand trailing the ridges of my spine to the sway of my back.
We spun towards the bed refusing to lose the contact we had denied for so long, and fell back against it. We laid side by side, kissing, touching, exploring. He took my nipple in his mouth as he moved my panties aside to call out the heat burning from my core. My hand wrapped around him and I was startled by the hardness that could surely burst through such a thin layer of strained skin.
He pushed away from me to stand at the edge of the bed, asked with his eyes, and then pulled down the shorts that were separating us. He sprang forth from them and he took himself in his hand, stroking, while appraising my body before him.
I glowed back at him and nodded when his eyes asked again and his free hand hooked around the last shred of cover I had. He pulled them off in a flourish and they dropped to the ground.
I ignored the little voices desperately begging me to hide the imperfections, worrying about my lack of experience or number of lovers, and a wildly high-pitched one, scared he was a complete freak who'd make me run for my cabin in fear.
Instead I focused on his hands working my body, his mouth determined to cover every inch of my skin, his dick hard as fuck and rubbing against my thigh. I knew that more than anything I wanted him inside me, right now.
His mouth found mine again and we both shook under the force of our tongues. His fingers slipped inside me, curling around the wetness and pushing me closer and closer to the edge. He felt me tighten and release, pushing away again.
"Bella, open your eyes. Look at me. You have to tell me you want it. Please tell me." His hand pressed against my heart from where he knelt next to me.
I sat up to kiss him feeling his fear melt in my mouth. "I want you. I want you inside me. Please."
He rolled over to perch against the headboard while his hand darted to the nightstand. I knew what he was after and chided myself for not remembering to think of it. Not that I'd let it happen without it but, shit, I could have been more prepared.
His arm went to me after he was through and I crawled over to him sitting on my knees between his legs. I leaned in, letting my breasts brush across his head and it pulsed into me sliding down my stomach to press against my heat as we kissed. I lifted my knee to go over his leg and drew in his erection like a magnet to my now open center.
I gasped and shuddered at the feel of him so near and he pushed my other leg over his. Long arms traveled my back to lift me up gently. He held me, suspended slightly in the air and gave me one last chance to change my mind. I stretched my hand to him and gripped his dick firmly before pushing the head past my lips and into my entrance.
His mouth dropped as he groaned and I quivered against him. He hooked both his hands on the top of my shoulders from the back and drew me down, slowly, so I could appreciate every inch filling me. When the last bit of space closed between us I cried out and shook as I called his name. My knees dug into the bed desperate for something to ground me to the earth, to him. He tightened his grip, crushing our chests against each other and feeling our hearts match the rhythm of our thrusts.
We didn't talk, we didn't kiss. We just stared at each other smiling like fools and whimpering in whispers. I felt the wave rise across me and he grunted as I clutched him and began to tremble. His face tightened and he bit down on his lip before moaning a matching Bluebell to my Edward. We pulsed together in heat and sweat, rocking on the bed before collapsing against the pillows. The cabin shuddered and came to a still.
He kissed my heart and I clamped down on him as he went to move away.
"Please, not yet. Please let me feel you fill me for a little while longer."
His hands pushed the hair from my face and pulled me back to him. Though he wasn't as hard as he was a moment ago, having him there was better than not. I ached at the thought of separating and returning from one to two.
We rolled to the side, my leg hitching over his hip beneath him and he took my hand to his pounding heart and our foreheads stuck together. Our breaths met in the space between us, refusing to the let even the air be empty of our pairing. We exhaled in unison and laughed as he kissed me softly and with meaning.
I stared into his eyes afraid of what I'd say or what I wouldn't, until they grew heavy and we both drifted to sleep and broke from each other.
~~~~~~~
I woke to the grey of early morning light. Edward was smiling at me and our legs and hands were still weaved together showing that neither of us moved all night.
"Good morning," he whispered.
"Good morning," I answered.
"So. You're here. That wasn't a dream."
"Not a dream."
"Better than a dream," he said with sleepy eyes and pulled me in closer.
"Much."
"Better than anything," he murmured brushing his lips across mine.
"Oh how you flatter. No need to blow smoke up my ass."
He pulled back and knitted his brow. "Excuse me? I don't do that shit. I'm not bullshitting when I tell you that was, hands down, the best sex I've ever had. I can't even compare. That wasn't even sex. That was..."
"Shhh, Edward, I was kidding. It was better than anything. And you're right. As much as I wanted to...do that, to have sex...I didn't expect..." I paused searching for my words, as was he.
"You didn't expect to see it all? Being inside you, I could see all pasts, all presents, all futures. Like one big tapestry before me. I swore I could hear your thoughts, feel you inside me. I didn't expect the...the connection. Like we'd done that a thousand times before. In another life, another time."
He heaved with the exertion of his words and I understood just how heavy they were. He told me what I wondered, what was missing from his life with Rose. I pushed my hand into his hair and kissed him. I needed to ask. I needed to know.
"It's not like that with Rose?"
Edward frowned and shook his head. "No, not like that. Rose and I, we fit in a lot of ways but she, she's not connected to anything it seems."
"Why not?"
"Because of what happened to her. She literally can not trust. And you can't have something like that, what we just had, without trust."
"Edward, what happened to her?"
"We don't have to talk about this, Bella. Not if it feels weird or wrong or whatever to you."
I waited while I searched myself for the name of what I felt. I wasn't jealous of Rose, oddly enough. It didn't feel weird to talk about her. She was a part of Edward's life like anything else and I wanted to know, understand that part of him. More than anything, I worried for her.
"It's not weird. It's part of who you are."
Edward rolled to his back taking my hand with him. He stared at the ceiling before going for a cigarette on the nightstand, lit it and took a long drag.
"Before I met Rose for the first time at boarding school, she lived in New York with her family. Her dad was one of those obsessed social climbers. He had the whole family acting like they belonged with the upper crust, buying flashy shit and expensive cars. Rose was a daddy's girl to a "t". She had no idea that the life he created for them was holding on by a long thread of debt.
Well, I don't know what the fuck happened but he was about to lose it all. Foreclosure, cars repo-ed, the whole shebang, right when he was about to land a new client, a hundred year old cosmetics conglomerate. Rose said he was ape shit bonanza about the whole thing, desperate to make the sale. He kept telling her that they were finally getting what they always wanted when Rose thought they already had it.
So anways, this big fat cat dude is getting wined and dined by her dad when his son strikes a fancy on Rose. Daddy tells Rose to go out with him despite her protests and she ends up drugged, raped and violated in the fucking sickest ways imaginable."
The bed tilted and turned as the room spun and I closed my eyes. "Oh my God. How old was she?"
"Fourteen," Edward said in an exhale of smoke. "He was in his twenties. Sick fuck. She was a virgin. Beautiful like she is today, looked older, but that cocksucker knew she was fourteen."
"What happened?"
"She went to her dad who took her to a doctor. He checked her over, took pictures and gave her meds that made her pass out for days. When she woke up her family was millions upon millions of dollars richer and she was told to never speak of it again."
"What? They didn't call the cops? They accepted some kind of pay off?"
"Yep. And promptly shipped Rose off to boarding school where she was fucking everything that walked by and slicing into her arms trying to seep out her pain. Until I found her and they stuffed her in the mental ward."
"Oh my God. Poor Rose. No wonder, I mean she has to be really messed up from that."
"You haven't heard the worst part."
"It gets worse than that?" I shook my head in disbelief.
"Yeah a lot worse. After she got out of the hospital she went back home to finish high school and shit. She found out that the child fucker had a list of payoffs a mile long that started long before her and kept going strong after. Everybody knew about it. Everybody. Especially her father."
"No. Oh no. You're saying he set her up?"
"More like he set him up with Rose as the bait."
"That's disgusting! That's horrible! Who would do such a thing?"
"I know. If the fucker wasn't dead to me already I'd kill him myself."
"Dead to you? I thought you spent holidays with her family in New York."
"Her brother only. They both excommunicated from the family when Rose figured out what her dad did. He's significantly older than her, never even knew what happened in the first place. He put her in counseling, through college, back on her feet somewhat. But I just don't think you can ever fully heal from something like that."
"You really love her," I said without resentment.
"I do. Even though I know that she probably doesn't love me back. She sort of does, maybe, in her own way. She loves me for what I am, not who."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm safety, stability, a safe place to land. I know how fucked up she is and I don't judge. She doesn't like to be alone. I'm one of her people. But I've never felt like she belonged to me. I don't know. Don't get me wrong I'm not a possessive fuck but still..."
"What?"
"Okay, listen to this whole thing. Okay? Rose and I, we have an open relationship. Look at me Bella, I've never ever used it. It was her idea and I never really liked it. She brought it up when we first got together. She told me sex was like air to her and without it she suffocated. And when she suffocated she cut or got high. And I'm not talking smoke-a-doobie high, I'm talking see-you-in-three-days-when-you-come-down high. So she said that when we're more than a hundred miles from home it's like we don't exist."
"Oh fuck, Edward-"
"You weren't listening Bella. I've never done it. Ever. Sex is like air to me too. I couldn't live without it, but I do not want to go around and stick my dick in random holes. All I wanted was to be enough for her."
"So she...?"
"We don't talk about it but I don't know. We both get tested for shit regularly, use condoms and all. I don't think she does, but again, I don't know. Part of me is like you, I don't want to know. I accepted her the way she was, warts and all and hoped that my love would one day be enough."
"But how can you go on like that? What about when you're married? And have kids?"
"No. We're not. Um, she can't because of what happened and we don't want to. We like our lives adult-centered. No offense."
"None taken. I get it. Parenthood's not for everyone. Better to know that than have kids you resent or ignore."
"Yeah I guess," he said, shrugging and lighting another cigarette. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and sighed. "Fuck, how'd we get on this? This wasn't exactly how I envisioned the morning after."
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into another infamous bear hug. I settled into him, letting my cheek lie against his chest. I know he felt bad for laying that on me but I asked. After all he'd done for me, the sorrows I bore, I wanted to do the same for him.
"I wanted to know. I wanted to know because you are right. We didn't just have sex last night. We traded our souls. You already knew what I was lacking and you gave. I wanted to give for you."
His hands gripped my face as he stared into my eyes. "Bella Swan you have already given me so much. I can't take any more from you. It wouldn't be right."
"But I can't truly give you all of me." My words were air against his lips.
"Neither can I. But I hope what we can give is enough. For now."
"It's more than enough," I answered as our mouths closed on each other again and we reached for the places that would join us once more.
~~~~~~~
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love Edward to be the greaser to your pinup!~~
Wanted to remind y'all to come follow me on Twitter! I post teasers and love chit chatting with readers, so come on over! Just look for TxBirdie, I'm the only one :)
TUiB:19- Sweet Disposition
The characters and story of Twilight lived in Stephenie Meyer's head long before I came along and read it. They belong to her. This story however, has lived in my head long before you read it and it belongs to me. I don't intend any copyright infringement and you better not either.
Thanks to the usual suspets KatieTV, Sugartits and kstewsfagirl. New thanks to agirlreckoning who's acting as new set of beta eyes.
~~Sweet Disposition, Temper Trap
~~BPOV~~
Waking up in another man's bed should have felt more, I don't know, seedy. Yet here I was, mostly naked and lacking in regret. I didn't feel dirty or shamed, I felt free.
I stretched my leg out to search for his, but the bed was empty. My eyes opened to him coming out of the bathroom door, still slightly wet and wrapped in a towel. I sat up and smiled as he made his way to me with a lopsided grin. He didn't stop at the bed. Instead, he crawled across, letting the towel gape open, to kiss me squarely on the mouth. Morning breath be damned I guessed.
My arms went around his neck as we fell back down and he wet my shirt with his damp chest. He sucked my lips and rolled me over until I straddled him and he could firmly grip my naked cheeks. He laughed as my hair tickled his face and I leaned in to bite his lobe.
"It's been far too long since I've kissed you. Sleep is such a waste. I have so much lost time to make up for. I think I'll spend the rest of these days kissing you." His mouth was on my neck and I swallowed his words down my throat.
"You have classes. I have classes. We will have to spend some time not kissing." I was holding his chin in my hand now and pressing his cheeks together.
"Such a waste," he said through the forced fish lips.
"Says the famous author. Some of us are here to learn so we can sell as many books as you." I leaned in to kiss him again and released his face to grip the back of his neck.
"Before you can sell books, you have to write one."
"Well if you'd get your tongue out of my mouth for longer than two seconds I could tell you that I have."
He put his hands to my shoulders to gently push our frantic kissing apart. "You have? Why didn't you tell me before? Bella, that's fucking awesome."
I grinned and pushed my finger to his lips. "I'm mostly done with the first draft and starting to freak out. I haven't let anyone read it. I don't even know if it's good."
"Are you telling me this because you want me to read it?" he asked.
My eyes darted around, jumpy with anxiety. They crossed his face and found comfort in his focused pupils.
"Yeah, if you would. I want you to be the first."
A slow smile spread before he spoke. "I quite enjoyed being your first. I'd be honored."
I swatted at his arm while a rash of heat rolled across my skin. I didn't want to think about what I let him do last night but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'd spent much of my adult life embarrassed and annoyed that I'd never experienced it. Not that I hadn't wanted to, I'd asked and been refused, more than once. So I stopped asking and figured I wasn't missing out on much anyways. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. I just found out that I'd been having Fourth of July with sparklers instead of fireworks.
"You can be my first. Again. But promise me something? Promise you'll be honest. I'm asking you as a student to a mentor. I want your feedback because I value it. I don't want you to tell me it's good when it's not, because I'm your..." I stopped. There aren't words for what the hell we are.
"You're my Bluebell, he said simply. "But you've got it. I'll read without bias and critique without the kid gloves."
"Thank you," I said with a peck to his nose.
"So where is it? Let me see it."
"What? Do you think I had it stuffed in my bikini top last night? Taped to my stomach? Where would I have been holding it?"
"Well I know for sure it wasn't in your top last night. I better check to see if it's up your shirt now."
He lifted my shirt to bare my belly as he sat up with me still in his lap. It flew higher than he expected and my breasts sprung in his face. If he was a cartoon his eyes would have fallen out. He pulled it back down in a flash and ducked his head.
"Oops. Sorry."
"I think I'm past the point of being shy, Edward." I moved my hips against the thin towel between us in emphasis. I reached down to the hem of the shirt and began to pull it up as his hand stopped me.
"No you don't. We're already going to miss breakfast at this rate. You are not leaving me to teach back-to-back morning classes with your naked body burned on my retinas. Not going to happen."
His arm snaked up my back to hold me still while he kissed me again. An hour later we'd definitely missed breakfast and were scrambling to make it to classes on time. I dashed across the meadow in his shirt and my yoga pants to shower, change and grab a Pop-Tart from Zafrina's munchies stash. I snuck into the first class as the lecture began.
I found myself forgetting the feel of Edward's mouth as I immersed myself in learning. Notebook pages were filled, feedback was shared, and my hungry mind ate it all. When we were dismissed for lunch I lingered in the hall wondering if I should I give my novel another pass before showing it to Edward. I slipped my hand in the pocket of my bag to feel the flash drive. I started back towards the dining room but found myself yanked into a conference room as I passed by the door.
His hand closed around my arm as he closed the door and shut off the fluorescent lights above us.
"I missed you. I missed your smell. I missed your taste. I missed your mouth."
He walked backwards, leading me by his mouth and my wrist, until we were at the table where his bag and signature tub of Red Vines sat.
"You and that candy. How you've tortured me with that candy." It was barely a whisper as he sank his teeth into my flesh and then licked and kissed the faint row of indents across my veins.
"You are wrong. You are the torturer and I am the torturee." His tongue moved up my arm pausing to kiss each freckle along the way. He pushed me gently on the table and held me as I tipped back against it.
"That's not even a word." I gasped and he unbuttoned my sweater to slip his hand inside.
"I'm a writer. I can make up my own words. Do you want my candy, Bella?"
"Yes," I moaned as his fingers worked my nipple.
He pushed me back further until I was laying on the table with him between my knees. He kept one hand on my chest and reached for the candy with the other. He drew out a long red rope and brought it to my mouth. I lifted my head to take a bite before he withdrew it and slid it down my neck and across my chest to the breast he'd exposed. He circled my nipple with the end of the vine and pushed it against the raised center. The skin tightened even more until I thought it might break off and shatter against the desk.
He stared at the bare breast, his hand cupping it's fullness, and the candy leaving a sticky trail around it. He licked his lips and brought the vine to his mouth giving the end a long suck like you would a finger you were wanting to moisten. He returned it to my chest and the ridges rubbed against my nipple again.
I was only vaguely aware of his hand slipping up my skirt and grazing across my center. My eyes rolled back as the vine left my nipple to dip into my belly button to go down my leg and back up again. His finger hooked the edge of my panties and pulled them aside and the candy slipped in. I whimpered and shook as he slid it across the wetness. He was delicate at first and then frenzied like he was satisfying an unscratchable itch. He took the tip to the top and ran the length between my lips while I squeezed at it, wanting more.
I panted and gasped as he forced the impending orgasm to rise and fall over and over taking his time with me. This was payback for last night. He wasn't going to let me cum until he wanted me to. The vine was just enough pressure and touch to toy with pleasure. Fucking candy.
"Say it. Out loud," he said, like he could read my thoughts. I knew what he wanted but I wasn't giving in either.
"Make me cum and I'll say it."
He chuckled softly and pushed the candy into my clit again. It moved in a steady circle while it's length rode my entrance. He kept the rhythm steady until my hands were gripping the sides of the table and I screamed it out.
"Fuck you, Edward. Fuck you and your fucking candy." My chest rose up and fell again as I came on him and the vine.
He slipped his hand out of my skirt and brought the candy to his mouth.
Oh my god. He wouldn't.
"And?" he said, his eyes twinkling.
He would. The vine passed his lips as he sucked my juice from it.
"Fuck you for making me want you to fuck me," I whispered, watching him eat the vine he'd done just that with.
Eating lunch was impossible with Edward watching me from across the table. I would have much preferred spending the rest of the hour in that room with him, returning the favor, but before I could, he spun me out the door and to the dining room. He mumbled something about refusing to let me miss another meal. Little did he know, I was willing to give up food forever if he'd feed my soul like that instead.
He wore a hat pulled down low and held a book in his hands, acting like it had his full attention. Watching every morsel go to my mouth, he eye touched my lips as I chewed, my throat as I swallowed, my breasts in between bites. He was making the basic act of digestion, really fucking hot. Such a difference from a similar lunch, same time last year, when he used the hat and book to avoid looking at me. Now they were being used to avoid anyone noticing he was looking at me.
I caught his eye under the hat and smirked, he cleared his throat and brought the book up higher.
"Bella?" Garrett said on my right.
"Sorry, what?"
"I asked if you were stoked for tonight. I'm telling you, man. These theme nights are top notch. This is just what they needed to shake this thing up."
"Garrett, were you in a fraternity in college?" I asked.
"God no. I went to a little liberal arts school in Lake Tahoe. I don't even think they had fraternities."
"I think you missed out. You are enjoying this way too much."
"You're saying that now, but you haven't seen my pimp suit. I found it a Venezuelan thrift store. Bought it before I even knew there would be a Studio 54 night because it was that cool. Probably came straight off the back of some dead coke sniffing drug lord but I had to have it."
"He's not kidding," Kate interjected. "We were traveling with nothing but what we could carry on our backs and he was seriously considering ditching survival gear to make room for the polyester wonder."
"I'll be sorry to miss it but I don't do disco." I shook my head.
"Awww, come on! You have to!"
"No way. I'm compromising. I'll do three out of the six but disco and 'Latin Groove' are on my not-on-your-life list. I didn't even bring costumes as built-in insurance."
"Three? That's not a compromise!"
"Fifty percent is an exact compromise."
"No Latin Groove? What do you have against my people?" Benito asked with mocked offense.
"Nothing, but I can't move like them and I'm not going to put on sequins and ruffles and pretend I can."
"Want to know the secret, mija? Tequila. A few licks of that and you can shake your hips with the best of them."
I heard Edward snort from behind his book and wished I could kick him under the table.
"Come on, pup. Just one more, it won't hurt, promise," Garrett said.
"Hey now. Zafrina's made me a costume for Friday and I got dressed up on the first night, and I did the hula yesterday before my heart attack, so I think I deserve a night off."
"How is Sarah?" Kate asked, smoothing her hands across her stomach.
"Unbreakable apparently. I was able to catch my mom this morning at break. She's totally fine."
"What a relief. We're all so glad you stayed."
I smiled at Kate and glanced back to Edward. "So am I."
"Garrett you're going to have to keep your pimp in the bag for another night," Caius said and pointed at the folder in front of him. "Tonight is Pin-Ups and Greasers."
"What? Bummer! That's okay, I'm totally prepared for this one too. What do you say, Cullen McSilent? You ready to be the Ponyboy to my Johnny? Shit, you don't even need a costume."
"Getting in the mood, huh?" Garrett asked.
"Just revisiting an old favorite."
"So Bella, you're up for a sock hop, right?" Garrett nagged again.
Edward pulled his hat down and nodded slowly. I shook my head slightly and he frowned as his bottom lip jutted out.
"I guess, since you twisted my arm and all. But this is it. No disco, no salsa."
Edward leaned onto his arms and hid his smile behind his hands. He was so easy. I was actually looking forward to this theme. I had my outfit picked out for months and really, like I'd be anywhere he wasn't, please.
After my afternoon classes, I stopped in the lobby to use the payphone and tried Jake's cell. Straight to voicemail again. I thought about dialing Leah but if she answered I'd have no legitimate reason for calling. It wasn't like I could just ask, "hi there, is my husband's dick currently inside you? Could you take a break and put him on?"
What was the point really? He was gone, I was gone. We'd both been missing for a long time. It shocked me to admit it, but what I felt the most after I kissed Edward was understanding. I understood why Jake had gone to Leah. I totally got why he'd look for this somewhere else. We didn't have it. That was glaringly obvious. It wasn't about me, it wasn't about him. We were the problem. He had it with Leah, I had it with Edward. I did, however, wish he hadn't found it so close to home as I wasn't rubbing his face in it and never would.
This place, this time and this man belonged to me. This was my vacation from life and reality. I knew that Edward and I were brewing a storm we were not fit to weather but it didn't matter. For once I was doing something for me and letting the rest be damned.
My hand went to the zip drive again and I knew I had to let go of that too. If I didn't show it to him until I thought it was perfect then I'd never show it to him. I dropped the receiver back to it's holder and started towards his cabin. The wind off the water blew salt through my hair. I watched the flowers of the meadow sway in the breeze and tightened my grip on the drive before knocking on his door.
He was on the phone as he opened it but he smiled and invited me in. I wondered how he was getting reception and heard him say goodbye.
"My dad," he said and shrugged. "He was checking on Sarah. Couldn't get your mom on her cell phone and figured I might know."
"Did calling him last night open up the proverbial can of worms?" I winced.
"Nah, It's fine. No worries." His hand patted the back of his hair like he did when he was avoiding something.
"I meant to ask earlier, about the ticket. I'm so sorry. I can pay you back-"
"No worries, Bluebell. It's exchangeable, refundable, whatever. I take enough trips, I'll use it."
"Thank you for doing that."
"You came all the way here to thank me for trying to send you home?" He winked at me and went to the fridge to procure two beers.
"No, I came to give you this." I held up the stick while taking the beer.
"Is that it? Your book?"
"Yes," I answered gripping it a little tighter.
"I was thinking. How fair is it that I'm going to read yours and you haven't read mine?" His arms wrapped around my waist and I could feel the coldness off the bottle on my back.
"I've read yours."
"You have? When? You never told me."
"I read them both, this past year."
"Fuck, keep me in suspense. What did you think?"
"What do you think I thought? You wrote them. I loved them."
"I hear a but."
"There's no but. But..."
"Told you."
"No! Okay not but. But," I said and laughed. "I didn't think they'd be so sad."
His lips moved from my cheek as he drew back to look at me. "You think they're sad?"
"Well not entirely, I mean obviously not. But I'm sad for Masen. He's just existing, it's like he thinks he has no purpose. His longing for connection is palpable."
Edward exhaled in deep thought and smiled. "You see what no one else does."
"I don't know about that."
"You do. You have a keen eye for longing."
"It is something I know a thing or two about."
"So, you going to give this up or what?" His hand went to my death grip.
I took a few deep breaths and let it go into his palm.
"That's it. That's all of me. And now it's yours."
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love for Edward to whip out his Red Vines on you.~~
Thanks to the usual suspets KatieTV, Sugartits and kstewsfagirl. New thanks to agirlreckoning who's acting as new set of beta eyes.
~~~~~~~
Just stay there
Cause I'll be comin' over
And while our bloods still young
It's so young
It runs
And we won't stop til it's over
Won't stop to surrender
Just stay there
Cause I'll be comin' over
And while our bloods still young
It's so young
It runs
And we won't stop til it's over
Won't stop to surrender
~~Sweet Disposition, Temper Trap
~~~~~~~
~~BPOV~~
Waking up in another man's bed should have felt more, I don't know, seedy. Yet here I was, mostly naked and lacking in regret. I didn't feel dirty or shamed, I felt free.
I stretched my leg out to search for his, but the bed was empty. My eyes opened to him coming out of the bathroom door, still slightly wet and wrapped in a towel. I sat up and smiled as he made his way to me with a lopsided grin. He didn't stop at the bed. Instead, he crawled across, letting the towel gape open, to kiss me squarely on the mouth. Morning breath be damned I guessed.
My arms went around his neck as we fell back down and he wet my shirt with his damp chest. He sucked my lips and rolled me over until I straddled him and he could firmly grip my naked cheeks. He laughed as my hair tickled his face and I leaned in to bite his lobe.
"It's been far too long since I've kissed you. Sleep is such a waste. I have so much lost time to make up for. I think I'll spend the rest of these days kissing you." His mouth was on my neck and I swallowed his words down my throat.
"You have classes. I have classes. We will have to spend some time not kissing." I was holding his chin in my hand now and pressing his cheeks together.
"Such a waste," he said through the forced fish lips.
"Says the famous author. Some of us are here to learn so we can sell as many books as you." I leaned in to kiss him again and released his face to grip the back of his neck.
"Before you can sell books, you have to write one."
"Well if you'd get your tongue out of my mouth for longer than two seconds I could tell you that I have."
He put his hands to my shoulders to gently push our frantic kissing apart. "You have? Why didn't you tell me before? Bella, that's fucking awesome."
I grinned and pushed my finger to his lips. "I'm mostly done with the first draft and starting to freak out. I haven't let anyone read it. I don't even know if it's good."
"Are you telling me this because you want me to read it?" he asked.
My eyes darted around, jumpy with anxiety. They crossed his face and found comfort in his focused pupils.
"Yeah, if you would. I want you to be the first."
A slow smile spread before he spoke. "I quite enjoyed being your first. I'd be honored."
I swatted at his arm while a rash of heat rolled across my skin. I didn't want to think about what I let him do last night but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'd spent much of my adult life embarrassed and annoyed that I'd never experienced it. Not that I hadn't wanted to, I'd asked and been refused, more than once. So I stopped asking and figured I wasn't missing out on much anyways. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. I just found out that I'd been having Fourth of July with sparklers instead of fireworks.
"You can be my first. Again. But promise me something? Promise you'll be honest. I'm asking you as a student to a mentor. I want your feedback because I value it. I don't want you to tell me it's good when it's not, because I'm your..." I stopped. There aren't words for what the hell we are.
"You're my Bluebell, he said simply. "But you've got it. I'll read without bias and critique without the kid gloves."
"Thank you," I said with a peck to his nose.
"So where is it? Let me see it."
"What? Do you think I had it stuffed in my bikini top last night? Taped to my stomach? Where would I have been holding it?"
"Well I know for sure it wasn't in your top last night. I better check to see if it's up your shirt now."
He lifted my shirt to bare my belly as he sat up with me still in his lap. It flew higher than he expected and my breasts sprung in his face. If he was a cartoon his eyes would have fallen out. He pulled it back down in a flash and ducked his head.
"Oops. Sorry."
"I think I'm past the point of being shy, Edward." I moved my hips against the thin towel between us in emphasis. I reached down to the hem of the shirt and began to pull it up as his hand stopped me.
"No you don't. We're already going to miss breakfast at this rate. You are not leaving me to teach back-to-back morning classes with your naked body burned on my retinas. Not going to happen."
His arm snaked up my back to hold me still while he kissed me again. An hour later we'd definitely missed breakfast and were scrambling to make it to classes on time. I dashed across the meadow in his shirt and my yoga pants to shower, change and grab a Pop-Tart from Zafrina's munchies stash. I snuck into the first class as the lecture began.
I found myself forgetting the feel of Edward's mouth as I immersed myself in learning. Notebook pages were filled, feedback was shared, and my hungry mind ate it all. When we were dismissed for lunch I lingered in the hall wondering if I should I give my novel another pass before showing it to Edward. I slipped my hand in the pocket of my bag to feel the flash drive. I started back towards the dining room but found myself yanked into a conference room as I passed by the door.
His hand closed around my arm as he closed the door and shut off the fluorescent lights above us.
"I missed you. I missed your smell. I missed your taste. I missed your mouth."
His hands moved faster than his words as they pushed through my hair, over my chest, under my skirt and then palmed the front of my neck as his mouth moved to the heartbeat at my wrist.
He walked backwards, leading me by his mouth and my wrist, until we were at the table where his bag and signature tub of Red Vines sat.
"You and that candy. How you've tortured me with that candy." It was barely a whisper as he sank his teeth into my flesh and then licked and kissed the faint row of indents across my veins.
"You are wrong. You are the torturer and I am the torturee." His tongue moved up my arm pausing to kiss each freckle along the way. He pushed me gently on the table and held me as I tipped back against it.
"That's not even a word." I gasped and he unbuttoned my sweater to slip his hand inside.
"I'm a writer. I can make up my own words. Do you want my candy, Bella?"
"Yes," I moaned as his fingers worked my nipple.
He pushed me back further until I was laying on the table with him between my knees. He kept one hand on my chest and reached for the candy with the other. He drew out a long red rope and brought it to my mouth. I lifted my head to take a bite before he withdrew it and slid it down my neck and across my chest to the breast he'd exposed. He circled my nipple with the end of the vine and pushed it against the raised center. The skin tightened even more until I thought it might break off and shatter against the desk.
He stared at the bare breast, his hand cupping it's fullness, and the candy leaving a sticky trail around it. He licked his lips and brought the vine to his mouth giving the end a long suck like you would a finger you were wanting to moisten. He returned it to my chest and the ridges rubbed against my nipple again.
I was only vaguely aware of his hand slipping up my skirt and grazing across my center. My eyes rolled back as the vine left my nipple to dip into my belly button to go down my leg and back up again. His finger hooked the edge of my panties and pulled them aside and the candy slipped in. I whimpered and shook as he slid it across the wetness. He was delicate at first and then frenzied like he was satisfying an unscratchable itch. He took the tip to the top and ran the length between my lips while I squeezed at it, wanting more.
I panted and gasped as he forced the impending orgasm to rise and fall over and over taking his time with me. This was payback for last night. He wasn't going to let me cum until he wanted me to. The vine was just enough pressure and touch to toy with pleasure. Fucking candy.
"Say it. Out loud," he said, like he could read my thoughts. I knew what he wanted but I wasn't giving in either.
"Make me cum and I'll say it."
He chuckled softly and pushed the candy into my clit again. It moved in a steady circle while it's length rode my entrance. He kept the rhythm steady until my hands were gripping the sides of the table and I screamed it out.
"Fuck you, Edward. Fuck you and your fucking candy." My chest rose up and fell again as I came on him and the vine.
He slipped his hand out of my skirt and brought the candy to his mouth.
Oh my god. He wouldn't.
"And?" he said, his eyes twinkling.
He would. The vine passed his lips as he sucked my juice from it.
"Fuck you for making me want you to fuck me," I whispered, watching him eat the vine he'd done just that with.
~~~~~~~
Eating lunch was impossible with Edward watching me from across the table. I would have much preferred spending the rest of the hour in that room with him, returning the favor, but before I could, he spun me out the door and to the dining room. He mumbled something about refusing to let me miss another meal. Little did he know, I was willing to give up food forever if he'd feed my soul like that instead.
He wore a hat pulled down low and held a book in his hands, acting like it had his full attention. Watching every morsel go to my mouth, he eye touched my lips as I chewed, my throat as I swallowed, my breasts in between bites. He was making the basic act of digestion, really fucking hot. Such a difference from a similar lunch, same time last year, when he used the hat and book to avoid looking at me. Now they were being used to avoid anyone noticing he was looking at me.
I caught his eye under the hat and smirked, he cleared his throat and brought the book up higher.
"Bella?" Garrett said on my right.
"Sorry, what?"
"I asked if you were stoked for tonight. I'm telling you, man. These theme nights are top notch. This is just what they needed to shake this thing up."
"Garrett, were you in a fraternity in college?" I asked.
"God no. I went to a little liberal arts school in Lake Tahoe. I don't even think they had fraternities."
"I think you missed out. You are enjoying this way too much."
"You're saying that now, but you haven't seen my pimp suit. I found it a Venezuelan thrift store. Bought it before I even knew there would be a Studio 54 night because it was that cool. Probably came straight off the back of some dead coke sniffing drug lord but I had to have it."
"He's not kidding," Kate interjected. "We were traveling with nothing but what we could carry on our backs and he was seriously considering ditching survival gear to make room for the polyester wonder."
"I'll be sorry to miss it but I don't do disco." I shook my head.
"Awww, come on! You have to!"
"No way. I'm compromising. I'll do three out of the six but disco and 'Latin Groove' are on my not-on-your-life list. I didn't even bring costumes as built-in insurance."
"Three? That's not a compromise!"
"Fifty percent is an exact compromise."
"No Latin Groove? What do you have against my people?" Benito asked with mocked offense.
"Nothing, but I can't move like them and I'm not going to put on sequins and ruffles and pretend I can."
"Want to know the secret, mija? Tequila. A few licks of that and you can shake your hips with the best of them."
I heard Edward snort from behind his book and wished I could kick him under the table.
"Come on, pup. Just one more, it won't hurt, promise," Garrett said.
"Hey now. Zafrina's made me a costume for Friday and I got dressed up on the first night, and I did the hula yesterday before my heart attack, so I think I deserve a night off."
"How is Sarah?" Kate asked, smoothing her hands across her stomach.
"Unbreakable apparently. I was able to catch my mom this morning at break. She's totally fine."
"What a relief. We're all so glad you stayed."
I smiled at Kate and glanced back to Edward. "So am I."
"Garrett you're going to have to keep your pimp in the bag for another night," Caius said and pointed at the folder in front of him. "Tonight is Pin-Ups and Greasers."
"What? Bummer! That's okay, I'm totally prepared for this one too. What do you say, Cullen McSilent? You ready to be the Ponyboy to my Johnny? Shit, you don't even need a costume."
Edward smirked and dropped the book he wasn't reading on the table to push it across to Garrett. We all looked at the cover and laughed.
"Getting in the mood, huh?" Garrett asked.
"Just revisiting an old favorite."
"So Bella, you're up for a sock hop, right?" Garrett nagged again.
Edward pulled his hat down and nodded slowly. I shook my head slightly and he frowned as his bottom lip jutted out.
"I guess, since you twisted my arm and all. But this is it. No disco, no salsa."
Edward leaned onto his arms and hid his smile behind his hands. He was so easy. I was actually looking forward to this theme. I had my outfit picked out for months and really, like I'd be anywhere he wasn't, please.
~~~~~~~
After my afternoon classes, I stopped in the lobby to use the payphone and tried Jake's cell. Straight to voicemail again. I thought about dialing Leah but if she answered I'd have no legitimate reason for calling. It wasn't like I could just ask, "hi there, is my husband's dick currently inside you? Could you take a break and put him on?"
What was the point really? He was gone, I was gone. We'd both been missing for a long time. It shocked me to admit it, but what I felt the most after I kissed Edward was understanding. I understood why Jake had gone to Leah. I totally got why he'd look for this somewhere else. We didn't have it. That was glaringly obvious. It wasn't about me, it wasn't about him. We were the problem. He had it with Leah, I had it with Edward. I did, however, wish he hadn't found it so close to home as I wasn't rubbing his face in it and never would.
This place, this time and this man belonged to me. This was my vacation from life and reality. I knew that Edward and I were brewing a storm we were not fit to weather but it didn't matter. For once I was doing something for me and letting the rest be damned.
My hand went to the zip drive again and I knew I had to let go of that too. If I didn't show it to him until I thought it was perfect then I'd never show it to him. I dropped the receiver back to it's holder and started towards his cabin. The wind off the water blew salt through my hair. I watched the flowers of the meadow sway in the breeze and tightened my grip on the drive before knocking on his door.
He was on the phone as he opened it but he smiled and invited me in. I wondered how he was getting reception and heard him say goodbye.
"My dad," he said and shrugged. "He was checking on Sarah. Couldn't get your mom on her cell phone and figured I might know."
"Did calling him last night open up the proverbial can of worms?" I winced.
"Nah, It's fine. No worries." His hand patted the back of his hair like he did when he was avoiding something.
"I meant to ask earlier, about the ticket. I'm so sorry. I can pay you back-"
"No worries, Bluebell. It's exchangeable, refundable, whatever. I take enough trips, I'll use it."
"Thank you for doing that."
"You came all the way here to thank me for trying to send you home?" He winked at me and went to the fridge to procure two beers.
"No, I came to give you this." I held up the stick while taking the beer.
"Is that it? Your book?"
"Yes," I answered gripping it a little tighter.
"I was thinking. How fair is it that I'm going to read yours and you haven't read mine?" His arms wrapped around my waist and I could feel the coldness off the bottle on my back.
"I've read yours."
"You have? When? You never told me."
"I read them both, this past year."
"Fuck, keep me in suspense. What did you think?"
"What do you think I thought? You wrote them. I loved them."
"I hear a but."
"There's no but. But..."
"Told you."
"No! Okay not but. But," I said and laughed. "I didn't think they'd be so sad."
His lips moved from my cheek as he drew back to look at me. "You think they're sad?"
"Well not entirely, I mean obviously not. But I'm sad for Masen. He's just existing, it's like he thinks he has no purpose. His longing for connection is palpable."
Edward exhaled in deep thought and smiled. "You see what no one else does."
"I don't know about that."
"You do. You have a keen eye for longing."
"It is something I know a thing or two about."
"So, you going to give this up or what?" His hand went to my death grip.
I took a few deep breaths and let it go into his palm.
"That's it. That's all of me. And now it's yours."
~~~~~~~
~~I'd love reviews more than you'd love for Edward to whip out his Red Vines on you.~~
Monday, July 5, 2010
Chapter 19 Teaser
:)
His hand closed around my arm as he closed the door and shut off the fluorescent lights above us.
“I missed you. I missed your smell. I missed your taste. I missed your mouth.”
His hands moved faster than his words as they pushed through my hair, over my chest, under my skirt and then palmed the front of my neck as his mouth moved to the heartbeat at my wrist.
He walked backwards, leading me by his mouth and my wrist, until we were at the table where his bag and signature tub of Red Vines sat.
“You and that candy. How you’ve tortured me with that candy.” It was barely a whisper as he sank his teeth into my flesh and then licked and kissed the faint row of indents across my veins.
“You are wrong. You are the torturer and I am the torturee.” His tongue moved up my arm pausing to kiss each freckle along the way. He pushed me gently on the table and held me as I tipped back against it.
“That’s not even a word.” I gasped and he unbuttoned my sweater to slip his hand inside.
His hand closed around my arm as he closed the door and shut off the fluorescent lights above us.
“I missed you. I missed your smell. I missed your taste. I missed your mouth.”
His hands moved faster than his words as they pushed through my hair, over my chest, under my skirt and then palmed the front of my neck as his mouth moved to the heartbeat at my wrist.
He walked backwards, leading me by his mouth and my wrist, until we were at the table where his bag and signature tub of Red Vines sat.
“You and that candy. How you’ve tortured me with that candy.” It was barely a whisper as he sank his teeth into my flesh and then licked and kissed the faint row of indents across my veins.
“You are wrong. You are the torturer and I am the torturee.” His tongue moved up my arm pausing to kiss each freckle along the way. He pushed me gently on the table and held me as I tipped back against it.
“That’s not even a word.” I gasped and he unbuttoned my sweater to slip his hand inside.
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